Lurkers and Newbies- Please read this PSA

Mrs.McIrish

Hello and welcome to TTC >35!  You are welcome to lurk all you want. If you are able to have your questions/concerned answered from reading other posts and that's all you want to do, that's great. Good luck to you on your TTC >35 journey.

Note that it can take a normal, healthy couple up to a year to conceive although if you are over 35, most doctors recommend getting tested after six months of ttc without success. If you are trying naturally, we recommend Fertility Friend (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/) for charting your temperature and using OPK's to find your most fertile window.

If you are having trouble TTC, here is another website with some great detailed information about infertility testing and treatments:  https://www.advancedfertility.com/

We would love for you to be interested in joining the board discussions. TTC can be difficult to deal with, especially when you are not PG month after month. Even if you are just starting out, we can all use some support.  It is incredibly helpful to learn from the people here and to get reassurance that there are others who truly understand.  But you have to give, if you want to get.  We can't care about you if we don't know you.

Start with an introduction if you haven't done one already, and post regularly. Sure, life sometimes gets busy and you can't get on here everyday, but surely you can make time to send a quick reply to a post every few days to keep yourself current and known to the board. 

But if you have never posted before, or only posted once or twice, please use common sense and do not come here to tell us about how happy you are to get your BFP.  That's great for you to have found success, but it hurts the rest of us to hear about complete strangers' success stories when the rest of us haven't gotten there yet, especially those who have undergone multiple failed treatment cycles.  If you are not an active member of the board, please don't be surprised if you get negative reactions when you come here to post about your pregnancy.  There are other boards on the Bump like PG>35 or 1st Trimester where you can go to talk about your BFP excitement.

I am not saying this to discourage anyone from joining the board if you are interested in seeking support and information from others dealing with similar issues. Quite the opposite.  There are a lot of great people on the board and I couldn't imagine having a lot of these ladies to talk to at this stage in my journey. 

A few other helpful hints:

?         Don?t ask for opinions/advice if you don?t want to hear them.  If you put it out there to the board, don?t expect to only hear from people who agree with you or who will say what you want to hear.

?         Don?t DD (dirty delete)!   You may not like the advice you get, but if you delete your original post as a result, it is insulting to those who took the time to read and respond to it. 

?         If you put your testing and treatment history in your signature block, you won?t have to repeat all of your info every time you post.   Just under the Bump logo (or Nest logo, if you're getting to this board through TN) at the top left of the page, is a My Bump (or My Nest) tab.  If you click on that, you can select the Avatar & Signature option to add info to your siggy (login if it requires you to).  In the signature part, type the info you want to add.  To make line breaks between pieces of info, add the code <br> at the end of each line where you want the break to be.  The lines will be centered automatically.

?         If you are comfortable with women who have already had pregnancy/success after IF replying to your posts, please add P/SAIF Welcome to your siggy so they know it?s okay to reply.

?         If you are wondering what all of those acronyms mean, please review the Bump Glossary, which will help clarify many of them:  https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/blogs/nest_baby_editors/pages/the-bump-community-glossary.aspx?MsdVisit=1

?         If you are new to internet message boards in general, here is a great Bumpie bio with info about how to add pictures, etc, to your posts or siggy : https://www.thebump.com/profiles/ambsies/mybump

ELF4321

jennasita

ELF4321:

This is what I was going to say! Also, thanks, McIrish!!

mtlaurel

Yeah, we needed that. Thank you!

irishgirl0525

Thank you

lindaeverly

I am SO glad that you posted this!!!!  There have been a couple of BFP posts lately that have kind of ticked me off lately because I had never seen them post before & it seemed like they were flaunting it in our faces.  I will never want to take away from someone else's happiness, but, like you said, it's hard to see someone that you have never heard from's dream come true when your's still hasn't. 

731brnigirl

As a Newbie I appreciate this info. The terms are a bit confusing. Thank you so much for helping make it clear for all of us Newbies and the lurkers who are here.  

Thank you again! 

 

 

 

stever

ELF4321:

HappyMrsK

Good advice.

Llamamama

lindaeverly:

I am SO glad that you posted this!!!!  There have been a couple of BFP posts lately that have kind of ticked me off lately because I had never seen them post before & it seemed like they were flaunting it in our faces.  I will never want to take away from someone else's happiness, but, like you said, it's hard to see someone that you have never heard from's dream come true when your's still hasn't. 

EXACTLY this!  Thanks Mrs. McIrish!

UOduckBride2be

lindaeverly:

I am SO glad that you posted this!!!!  There have been a couple of BFP posts lately that have kind of ticked me off lately because I had never seen them post before & it seemed like they were flaunting it in our faces.  I will never want to take away from someone else's happiness, but, like you said, it's hard to see someone that you have never heard from's dream come true when your's still hasn't. 

Agreed!  I thought maybe it was just me and I was being a little sensipoo.  I don't think for me though that it was so much the BFP as the "advice" that came with the announcement that made me want to roof-test my laptop!

lindaeverly

UOduckBride2be:

lindaeverly:

I am SO glad that you posted this!!!!  There have been a couple of BFP posts lately that have kind of ticked me off lately because I had never seen them post before & it seemed like they were flaunting it in our faces.  I will never want to take away from someone else's happiness, but, like you said, it's hard to see someone that you have never heard from's dream come true when your's still hasn't. 

Agreed!  I thought maybe it was just me and I was being a little sensipoo.  I don't think for me though that it was so much the BFP as the "advice" that came with the announcement that made me want to roof-test my laptop!

You weren't being sensipoo at all!  I'm sure we all felt it to some degree, but some people aren't as, um, let's say outspoken as me.  Yeah, that's what we'll go with...outspoken. 

ELF4321

lindaeverly:

UOduckBride2be:

lindaeverly:

I am SO glad that you posted this!!!!  There have been a couple of BFP posts lately that have kind of ticked me off lately because I had never seen them post before & it seemed like they were flaunting it in our faces.  I will never want to take away from someone else's happiness, but, like you said, it's hard to see someone that you have never heard from's dream come true when your's still hasn't. 

Agreed!  I thought maybe it was just me and I was being a little sensipoo.  I don't think for me though that it was so much the BFP as the "advice" that came with the announcement that made me want to roof-test my laptop!

You weren't being sensipoo at all!  I'm sure we all felt it to some degree, but some people aren't as, um, let's say outspoken as me.  Yeah, that's what we'll go with...outspoken. 

I have to say, I was holding back my snark on that bfp post because I'm new-ish here and you all seemed less snarky than my other board (3T), so I didn't want to over-step and offend anyone.  Now that I know I can get away with it, I shall join you in being, um, outspoken

Mrs.McIrish

ELF4321:

lindaeverly:

UOduckBride2be:

lindaeverly:

I am SO glad that you posted this!!!!  There have been a couple of BFP posts lately that have kind of ticked me off lately because I had never seen them post before & it seemed like they were flaunting it in our faces.  I will never want to take away from someone else's happiness, but, like you said, it's hard to see someone that you have never heard from's dream come true when your's still hasn't. 

Agreed!  I thought maybe it was just me and I was being a little sensipoo.  I don't think for me though that it was so much the BFP as the "advice" that came with the announcement that made me want to roof-test my laptop!

You weren't being sensipoo at all!  I'm sure we all felt it to some degree, but some people aren't as, um, let's say outspoken as me.  Yeah, that's what we'll go with...outspoken. 

I have to say, I was holding back my snark on that bfp post because I'm new-ish here and you all seemed less snarky than my other board (3T), so I didn't want to over-step and offend anyone.  Now that I know I can get away with it, I shall join you in being, um, outspoken

It took every restraint in my body to not make a crazy snarky comment last week. I was doped up on pain meds and really wanted to say thanks for the advice  since my IVF just crashed and burned...

UOduckBride2be

Mrs.McIrish:

ELF4321:

lindaeverly:

UOduckBride2be:

lindaeverly:

I am SO glad that you posted this!!!!  There have been a couple of BFP posts lately that have kind of ticked me off lately because I had never seen them post before & it seemed like they were flaunting it in our faces.  I will never want to take away from someone else's happiness, but, like you said, it's hard to see someone that you have never heard from's dream come true when your's still hasn't. 

Agreed!  I thought maybe it was just me and I was being a little sensipoo.  I don't think for me though that it was so much the BFP as the "advice" that came with the announcement that made me want to roof-test my laptop!

You weren't being sensipoo at all!  I'm sure we all felt it to some degree, but some people aren't as, um, let's say outspoken as me.  Yeah, that's what we'll go with...outspoken. 

I have to say, I was holding back my snark on that bfp post because I'm new-ish here and you all seemed less snarky than my other board (3T), so I didn't want to over-step and offend anyone.  Now that I know I can get away with it, I shall join you in being, um, outspoken

It took every restraint in my body to not make a crazy snarky comment last week. I was doped up on pain meds and really wanted to say thanks for the advice  since my IVF just crashed and burned...

Yep, it was just a little too close to "just relax and it will happen"  that part was what nearly sent me over the edge...as if I hadn't tried that in the last 6+years!  LOL!