I'm going to kill him (vent - obviously) — The Bump
April 2011 Moms

I'm going to kill him (vent - obviously)

I got this message from DH this morning:

"Chad is wanting me to go to Rockville with him on Saturday...  I just dont feel like it..."

Rockville is the Rockville Regatta - first Saturday in August - big party - take the boat out and drink all day.

Umm - you don't feel like it?  How about your wife will kill you if you go since you were gone pretty much all day last Saturday on your f-ing bike and taking your boat out with friends?  How about you need to spend some time with your 4 month old son?

Sorry - I love the guy, he's a good dad and he loves Andrew to death,  but I am just getting really tired of feeling like I am doing everything. We need to sit down and have a talk this weekend to work on the schedule.

Thanks for letting me vent   :)

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Re: I'm going to kill him (vent - obviously)

  • I feel your pain. DH is working a 10a-10p schedule right now so we never see him. He doesn't get up early to spend time with us either. I understand it mon-fri because hes tired, anyone would be with that schedule. Then he decides to spend an entire Sunday 2 weeks in a row golfing. Not cool.

    Talk to him. Make sure he knows how you are feeling. Setting up a schedule is a great idea to make sure he spends time with you guys.

    imageImage and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • It's interesting, Kyle and I had this discussion while I was pregnant (it didn't stick).  His point is that women have a constant reminder that our life was going to change. And husbands don't have that. So fast forward 4 months, his logic isn't standing.  Because now he does have a constant reminder that life has changed.  I am not sure how to make him understand. He thinks we can just decide to go out to dinner but I will have to say we can do that when Jack wakes up.  It doesn't seem to occur to him to think of the baby first.  I am not sure when this changes, if it does.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • Loading the player...
  • Good luck on your talk. I think its too easy for them to let us do all the work, because our first instinct is to get it done and taken care of. They forget we need our time, too.
  • imageAllerielle:
    Good luck on your talk. I think its too easy for them to let us do all the work, because our first instinct is to get it done and taken care of. They forget we need our time, too.

    I agree with this too.  My DH helps me out but truth be told I am the main care giver.  It is still very easy for him to make plans to play basketball on a whim without thinking that maybe I need a break.  It just doesn't register at times.

    I already let my DH know that on Saturday I am sleeping in....he will be the one to get up for the 5am feeding. 

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=working-mom&utm_medium=ubb&utm_campaign=badges"><img src="http://images.thenestbaby.com/badges/tb_sig_workmom.gif"></a>



    </br>

    [URL=http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/718/img20120331182448.jpg/][IMG]http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/7056/img20120331182448.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
  • imageAllerielle:
    Good luck on your talk. I think its too easy for them to let us do all the work, because our first instinct is to get it done and taken care of. They forget we need our time, too.

    Especially because you're BFing, it's all too easy to get in the habit of doing everything yourself because you are the primary care giver. I guess this leaves our h's feeling like they're not needed and free to go play with their buddies. It sucks having to play evil wife and tell him he can't go do what he wants, but if you need help, you need help. Straight up tell him that.

  • I feel you! DH tells me that he's going to his buddy's cabin this Sat because my sister is flying in and he wanted to give us some time together. LOL. More like you wanted to give yourself a nice big beerfest! Since he didn't ask me but told me, I told him my sis and I are going shopping and out to dinner Friday night so he's got Giuliana. He loves being wth her, but I think he understands a bit better now how annoying it is not to compromise on schedules. Try springing a night on him to put things into perspective before chatting about it.
    [IMG]http://i53.tinypic.com/ofq98l.jpg[/IMG]

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/ttedbb3.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • I'm so sorry... Even though Jared's a SAHD, when we're both working from home, sometimes it seems like he doesn't get that I'm not getting as much work done as he is. Last week, I was freelancing editing a friend's book, and he was out in our recording studio in the garage mastering some tracks, and I'm sure he was getting TONS done, and I was editing while breastfeeding, which was some slow going.

    I can always text him to come in for a diaper change or something, though... I'm so sorry. I don't get how there are so many things going on that you and your DH don't take your baby to. We've taken Liam everywhere with us, except for one gig Jared's band did that was at a bar that was clearly 21 and over. Other than that, he's gone to every gig that there is whether it's at a club, lodge, outdoor fair, etc.

    Tonight, there's an open mic at another bar that's 21 and over, and I think I'm going to have to MAKE Jared go. There are all of these great musicians who keep asking me if he's coming to it, and he didn't go to the last one since Liam and I couldn't go. 

    If you wanted him to, he could kick your DH's a$$. (Or I could Wink )

    MacAndCheese
    Mac and cheese lover!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • imageshaindelr:

    I'm so sorry... Even though Jared's a SAHD, when we're both working from home, sometimes it seems like he doesn't get that I'm not getting as much work done as he is. Last week, I was freelancing editing a friend's book, and he was out in our recording studio in the garage mastering some tracks, and I'm sure he was getting TONS done, and I was editing while breastfeeding, which was some slow going.

    I can always text him to come in for a diaper change or something, though... I'm so sorry. I don't get how there are so many things going on that you and your DH don't take your baby to. We've taken Liam everywhere with us, except for one gig Jared's band did that was at a bar that was clearly 21 and over. Other than that, he's gone to every gig that there is whether it's at a club, lodge, outdoor fair, etc.

    Tonight, there's an open mic at another bar that's 21 and over, and I think I'm going to have to MAKE Jared go. There are all of these great musicians who keep asking me if he's coming to it, and he didn't go to the last one since Liam and I couldn't go. 

    If you wanted him to, he could kick your DH's a$$. (Or I could Wink )

    We do take him to lots of places, but there is no way he is going out on the boat yet.  DH's boat rides way too rough and the regatta is just a big drunk fest. 

    I fully intend to get up and hit the farmer's market with him this weekend and hopefully do some other stuff before it gets too oppressively hot. I am hating this weather right now.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • imagekestock120:
    imageshaindelr:

    I can always text him to come in for a diaper change or something, though... I'm so sorry. I don't get how there are so many things going on that you and your DH don't take your baby to. We've taken Liam everywhere with us, except for one gig Jared's band did that was at a bar that was clearly 21 and over. Other than that, he's gone to every gig that there is whether it's at a club, lodge, outdoor fair, etc.

    Tonight, there's an open mic at another bar that's 21 and over, and I think I'm going to have to MAKE Jared go. There are all of these great musicians who keep asking me if he's coming to it, and he didn't go to the last one since Liam and I couldn't go. 

    If you wanted him to, he could kick your DH's a$$. (Or I could Wink )

    We do take him to lots of places, but there is no way he is going out on the boat yet.  DH's boat rides way too rough and the regatta is just a big drunk fest. 

    I fully intend to get up and hit the farmer's market with him this weekend and hopefully do some other stuff before it gets too oppressively hot. I am hating this weather right now.

    I would never want you to take him anywhere unsafe. I wasn't implying that.

    I just was thinking maybe your DH is clueless that there's fun family-friendly stuff you could do? Is there a "family fun guide" or something for where you live? We're doing the Farmers' Market tomorrow (the whole time b/c Jared's the musical entertainment), and we were at another Farmers' Market all day last Saturday because he was the musical entertainment there, too.

    Sorry :-(

     

     

    MacAndCheese
    Mac and cheese lover!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • imageshaindelr:

    I would never want you to take him anywhere unsafe. I wasn't implying that.

    I just was thinking maybe your DH is clueless that there's fun family-friendly stuff you could do? Is there a "family fun guide" or something for where you live? We're doing the Farmers' Market tomorrow (the whole time b/c Jared's the musical entertainment), and we were at another Farmers' Market all day last Saturday because he was the musical entertainment there, too.

    Sorry :-(

     

     

    Oh - no need to apologize!  I agree with you completely - I don't think he thinks about things we can do as a family. 

    We need to sit down and figure some stuff out because this week has been rough on me with Andrew starting in daycare. That added a whole new wrinkle in the daily routine and it's wearing me down.

    I definitely  need to look into what there is to do around here that would work for us. I just wish it wasn't so disgustingly hot outside. I cannot wait until fall weather starts.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • imagekestock120:
    [Oh - no need to apologize!  I agree with you completely - I don't think he thinks about things we can do as a family. 

    We need to sit down and figure some stuff out because this week has been rough on me with Andrew starting in daycare. That added a whole new wrinkle in the daily routine and it's wearing me down.

    I definitely  need to look into what there is to do around here that would work for us. I just wish it wasn't so disgustingly hot outside. I cannot wait until fall weather starts.

     This is what our weekends look like a lot of the time: IMG_1224

    Jared's big with the sippy cup demographic ;-) I don't know if this will help or not, but I found it for you: http://www.charlestonfamilyfun.com/

    I've been living in the desert for almost six years now, so I forget how bad the humidity is where other people are... Maybe there are some air-conditioned places on the website I found for you.

    Good luck with "the talk" :-)

    MacAndCheese
    Mac and cheese lover!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • Kestock- I am from charleston (mt pleasant), and I totally agree that Rockville is no place for a baby. My dad wouldn't let me go in High School, so I can't imagine taking a baby! Much less the fact you can't get away from the heat on a boat!

     But that would make me so mad if DH said he didnt feel like going somewhere on the weekend that was no where close to baby friendly.

    We are actually headed down to Charleston this weekend. DH and I plan on dropping Claire off with the grandparents sat morning, then heading to lunch on shem creek. Then it is family time the rest of the time we are there. Hopefully we will make it to Costco to stock up on wipes. My dad lives real close to the new Trader Joe's so hopefully we will make it by there!

  • imageshannonpc1:

    Kestock- I am from charleston (mt pleasant), and I totally agree that Rockville is no place for a baby. My dad wouldn't let me go in High School, so I can't imagine taking a baby! Much less the fact you can't get away from the heat on a boat!

     But that would make me so mad if DH said he didnt feel like going somewhere on the weekend that was no where close to baby friendly.

    We are actually headed down to Charleston this weekend. DH and I plan on dropping Claire off with the grandparents sat morning, then heading to lunch on shem creek. Then it is family time the rest of the time we are there. Hopefully we will make it to Costco to stock up on wipes. My dad lives real close to the new Trader Joe's so hopefully we will make it by there!

    Wow - small world!  We actually live in Mt Pleasant.  And I was going to try to go to the Trader Joe's last Saturday, but since it had just opened the day before it was crazy busy and I didn't feel like dealing with the crowds. Hopefully it's calmed down a bit by this weekend.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • My husband (who I love very much and who is an AMAZING dad, in general) is going on a four day fun trip with his family to this water/amusement park. Originally, all of us were invited but I felt (and the pedi agreed) that DD is too young to be out in the sun like that and in a public pool w/ all the chemicals.

    How it became I stay home alone for four days while DH gets to go, I'm not quite sure. And I'm pretty annoyed about the whole thing.

    All that to say, I totally feel you on this one.

  • imagekestock120:
    imageshannonpc1:

    Kestock- I am from charleston (mt pleasant), and I totally agree that Rockville is no place for a baby. My dad wouldn't let me go in High School, so I can't imagine taking a baby! Much less the fact you can't get away from the heat on a boat!

     But that would make me so mad if DH said he didnt feel like going somewhere on the weekend that was no where close to baby friendly.

    We are actually headed down to Charleston this weekend. DH and I plan on dropping Claire off with the grandparents sat morning, then heading to lunch on shem creek. Then it is family time the rest of the time we are there. Hopefully we will make it to Costco to stock up on wipes. My dad lives real close to the new Trader Joe's so hopefully we will make it by there!

    Wow - small world!  We actually live in Mt Pleasant.  And I was going to try to go to the Trader Joe's last Saturday, but since it had just opened the day before it was crazy busy and I didn't feel like dealing with the crowds. Hopefully it's calmed down a bit by this weekend.

    it is a small world!  that is crazy! i heard the opening was really crowded. With it being Tax Free weekend I don't think anything is going to be easy to get to!

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards