Maternity Clothes

mrsV719

My sister lent me all of her maternity clothes and is now trying for her #2. I am going to see her in a few weeks so she asked that I give her back the clothes and books on pregnancy and labor. I started to pack up all of her clothes (plus my own) and saw all of the spring maternity clothes that I never got to wear. I started to cry. It was and still is a very hard thing to me to think about how I missed out on the 3rd tri and everything that goes along with it. I wish nothing but happy and healthy pregnancies for everyone I see... but I just can't help but be... be... be... saddened? Angry? Jealous?

Why didn't I get the pregnancy and labor/delivery that I always wanted? Why us?  

Mrs. Alice

I completely hear what you are saying.  It is all still very fresh for me too.  I just keep thinking that I should still be pregnant right now.  I still haven't had a baby shower.  I never got to do cute maternity photos.  I feel a little cheated that I didn't get to have a normal healthy pregnancy and might never get to if this is my only pregnancy.  Having twins, getting big early and wearing maternity - I did get that experience except a big portion of it was while I was in the hospital.

katie4253

I know the feeling.  I have so many spring/summer things I never wore.  I couldn't even wear them after I had him to transition into my regular clothes (which I STILL don't fit 100% into) because they were the kind that you really needed a belly for them to look good. 

kck329

I gave all my maternity clothes to my SIL who found out she was pregnant in February. As of two weeks ago, she is officially more pregnant than I ever was and I have all kinds of emotions about that. I'm so glad that her pregnancy has been relatively easy so far and I pray that we don't meet her baby until October but I also know that it will be really hard to be part of the happy delivery room scene when that time comes. I put these feelings on the list of things associated with preemie PTSD.

I guess what I'm saying is I totally understand. And I don't have a good answer for how we get over it other than time. 

ShannonSky

*hugs* It gets better with time. Now that DD's almost 2, she's just too BUSY for me to really think about the things I missed. I do still have a tender spot for people complaining about pregnancy/normal 3rd trimester discomfort or wanting to be induced for no good reason, though. Every time I hear stuff like that, I just want to slap the person. Yes, it's hot, yes, I can't move like I'm used to, yes, I get uncomfortable, but goodness, you could tie me to the rack and I'd prefer that over having to leave my baby in the hospital again.

Lilystar82

I feel the same way. I had to pack up all the clothes I wore while on hospital bed rest because they simply smelled like the hospital, and that smell brings me back to a place I don't want to be. Even 7 months later, it isn't any easier. There are a lot of things I feel I missed out on. I'm hoping as time goes on that will lessen, but for right now it's still pretty fresh. (((hugs)))

OscarQ

When LO was still in the NICU I was pretty bitter about missing out on 3rd tri and the maternity clothes really pissed me off.  I wasn't even showing when he was born.  

95% of the clothes got put away but I do confess to still wearing a couple of pieces - tank tops and one summer top I wouldn't have been able to wear in 3rd tri anyway (it was a hand-me-down).  

I was especially bitter because I kept thinking "I'm never going to have a chance to wear these" as I was packing them up.  That's subsided a bit since we're not 100% sure if I can or can't have another pregnancy yet.  If I can't have another pregnancy, I'll have to mourn that too.

Natalie_may

As soon as the boys came home I packed everything up.  Luckily I only bought clothes as the pregnancy progressed so everything I bought I wore, even if it was only in the hospital.  I still have a hard time thinking about the things I missed and wish I could go back and do it over again and take advantage of the things I did have and take pictures.

I am very lucky in that there is a possibility that I could have a full term pregnancy in my future but there are no certainties in life so part of me is afraid that door has closed.

neko621

Mrs. Alice:

I completely hear what you are saying.  It is all still very fresh for me too.  I just keep thinking that I should still be pregnant right now.  I still haven't had a baby shower.  I never got to do cute maternity photos.  I feel a little cheated that I didn't get to have a normal healthy pregnancy and might never get to if this is my only pregnancy.  Having twins, getting big early and wearing maternity - I did get that experience except a big portion of it was while I was in the hospital.

This is EXACTLY how I feel Mrs. Alice!  My twins actually came on the day that was supposed to be our shower.  (I guess we'll reschedule it later once the babes are more stable?  What are you doing about yours?)  I actually cried my eyes out yesterday (stupid hormones!) when I realized I didn't have ONE picture of my husband and I while I was pregnant.  In fact---I don't have any pictures of me pregnant other than our corny weekly belly shots that we took for my Belly Book.  I feel like I am mourning a pregnancy that was taken away from me too soon.  Especially since I only got to enjoy the last two weeks of it since the rest was super complicated and stressful.  My husband doesn't get it.  It's nice to hear that other ladies do.  

damabo80

Yep. I had JUST started to get a nice cute round belly (as opposed to the "is she or isn't she?" fat roll I was sporting before), and bought a sh!t-ton of mat clothes and then the next week I was giving birth.

So, a part of me is sad for that, but I know how much worse it could be (packing up mat clothes without a live baby SUCKS even worse). I'm just so glad I have a live outside baby. But, it still doesn't stop the pangs of jealously when I see a 38 weeker wadling around.

LittleBugMama

Although my daughter was only 6 weeks early and in no way compares to how difficult it must be to have missed an entire trimester, I have similar feelings.  When I saw/see women in the end of their pregnancy or see pictures of huge,end-of-pregnancy bellies, I feel like I kind of missed out.  I hope I get huge with my next baby.

Ryan&Kristin062009

For me I miss the fact that our son wasn't put on my chest after birth, and that we didn't get to experience the 2 day hospital day with him in our room and people visiting us with It's A Boy balloons and flowers and all of that  I mean, I am so happy he was healthy and is doing so great, but I do miss those experiences.