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Single Parents
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What did your X aspire to be?
What did your X plan to do with his life before everything went awry?
STBXH planned to be an elementary teacher and later go back to school to get his master's degree to be a principal. He also wanted to be a very successful high school baseball coach. Eventually he would have probably been a stay at home dad to our 3 or 4 kids.
Now, after 4 DUI's, several stints in rehab, and various other charges, he's unemployed, has no driver's license, he's broke, and sleeps on an air mattress in his parent's basement. He just got the alcohol monitoring bracelet off that he's had on for the past year and I'm almost certain he's drinking already.
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Re: What did your X aspire to be?
I met my ex-husband while we were both in the military. He had already been in a few years and I had just joined. He LOVED the military and he was literally a super-soldier. He was gaining rank fast, beloved by all the higher ranking officers and NCOs, and on his way to becoming a platoon sergeant. But the demons from his childhood caught up with him, and he started using again in the military. He made some bad choices that got him into trouble. He was demoted to E-1 (Private) on the same day he was supposed to be promoted to E-5 (Sergeant). He had too much time in service to be an E-1, so he had to be put out of the Army. There were soooo many heartbroken individuals because he really could've been something awesome, but he flushed it all down the toilet.
Now he can't seem to keep and job and roams like a nomad from state to state. Periodically he gets himself arrested or gets into rehab. It's really sad with the demons he is fighting because he really can be a sweet, loving man. But he takes one step forward and three steps back. If he can ever overcome them, he'll make someone a really great dad and husband one day.
Independently wealthy with no real effort on his own. Actually, he kept up that lifestyle pretty well until the power got shut off, there wasn't enough $ for groceries and the bill collectors kept calling...until the phone was shut off. BUT then his mommy paid for eveyrthing and it got all turned back on again.
Guess who pays his CS lump sum payments everytime we go to court for his lack of payments...YEP his Mommy does.
Oh SD had many, many goals.
He actually had moved up the ladder quickly at work and was a meat department manager at a local grocery store and made a decent salary. It might not sound like a "career" so to speak but he barely graduated from HS so for him it was a big accomplishment.
He had always wanted to own his own business so when he lost his job as the meat manager he tried to start his own welding business. The problem was he didn't know how to weld and decided not to take the college courses to get certified.
He also always wanted for us to build our dream home at his ranch which is beautiful property which sits on top of a hill overlooking the valley and river.
He said his number 1 goal in life was to have children and be a father.
That's what he WANTED, this is what he's got.
Currently unemployed although he's supposedly making firewood and he wants to open a quick lube and gas station by his ranch. I'm not sure where he'll be getting the funding for that venture considering his credit is absolutely shot.
Currently homeless although I think he stays at his ranch in this shack of a trailer with no electricity or running water. I don't know where he showers and there is only an outhouse, no bathroom.
He said he plans to build a cabin out there, again, still not sure where he will get the money for this.
Has one child who he hasn't seen in an entire year (although we go to court Thursday for his visitation hearing).
He is in a one year graduated rehab program where he had inpatient treatment for ninety days and now he has meetings three times a week and drug tests twice weekly.
Has gone back to jail numerous times in the past two years all on drug related charges (possession and under the influence).
He owes numerous creditors money as well as friends, family, and is $14K in arrears in child support payments.
Way to make all of your dreams come true.
He never aspired to be anything but happy. While I see nothing wrong with that. he had no drive or motivation to do anything to make his life more comfortable.
He has a grade 9 education, REFUSES to take trade school (which is only 2 months out of each year, and unemployment pays for it!), and continues to spend his time with his gf who happens to be a hooker. She and her son recently moved in with him because her apartment is swarming with bed bugs. He enjoys playing daddy although he blew off his bio-son to get wasted with said hooker and junkie friend.
WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER....fvck me am I glad I'm no longer a part of that.
OMG these are cracking me up!
When we were dating exH wanted to be a Doctor.
When we were engaged he went to the tech school and became a CNA (nurse assistant), got a job at our hospital and did okay. Went to school when we were married (ahem, SOMETIMES went to school) and was going to get his RN.
He kept his job for approximately 4 mo. after I left him and then got fired. That was fall 2008.
Where he is now:
JUST became employed for the first time since 2008. Living in another state supposedly working in an oil field. Has not seen DS in almost 18 months. Just got his drivers license back, and recently the warrant he got for nonpayment/contempt for not paying child support expired. Oh, and also...is self-proclaimed homeless.
Yup, yup.