FFFC.....do we even dare?

StarLightStar22

love_melongtime:

Mrs. Mo:

MrsSMJD:

My FFFC? The next person who tells me not to pick up my hiking backpack or rake the lawn or go through my weight lifting routine because I'm pregnant will get a boot up their @$$! I'm not disabled: I'm pregnant...there's a huge difference. I like an excuse to take it easy as much as the next person, but since I'm not endangering my baby, back off!

And I have to agree with Mrs. Mo about the BF vs FF thing. I'm planning to BF, just because it's what my mom did and so it's something I'm comfortable with. But living in the UK, I swear all the literature you get and the midwives and doctors you visit seem to be doing their best to bully you into BF by insinuating that FF means that you care less about your baby's health! I hate that the BF/FF decision gets turned into such a moral issue. 

This is exactly how I have been made to feel by anyone who has questioned our decision and honestly, I shouldn't feel like I have to go into details about why we are FF.  For us, our child will be a heck of a lot healthier being FF. Plus, we won't be constantly worrying that any of the meds I am on will end up on one of those Dane Shuleman commercials (they know they are excreted in breast milk but not enough studies have been done to show that there are no longterm negative effects)

Thanks for sharing this. I admit it- when I hear of a woman who is not even going to try and BF, I always wonder why on earth wont you just try it, especially considering it is what most doctors/midwives/pedis etc recommend. Now I will know to be more open minded and understanding, so thanks.

I think there are so many reasons people cant and it really is hard to explain to everyone. Our babies will be FF due to me having two breast reductions and multiple different doctors telling me I will never be able to bf now due to the damage. I hate having to explain myself and my MIL seems to think I am a horrible person for not thinking about that before I had the reductions and states that my children will not be healthy now.

Fianschneid

StarLightStar22:

I cant stand my MIL sometimes. She never worked and was a stay at home mom and raised DH and his spoiled sister.(BTW - I have nothing against SAHM!!) What really makes me mad is when her and my father in law judge my decision to go back to work when the babies are born. I get smart a$$ comments all the time about how I am "handing my children over to the daycare people to raise them for me." I sometimes want to snap and be like well unfortunatly your son does not make enough money for me to stay home so I have to work to help support our family. They also have been worthless when it comes to the girls.. they have both said comments about hoping we try again for a boy one day... can I finish being pregnant with my two beautiful twin girls before you harrass me about a boy? Ugh...

I am so disturbed that people still place more value on male children than on female children. DH and I are thrilled to be having a healthy little girl and I might punch someone who even hinted that having a baby with the right kind of junk would be a valid reason for trying to have another child.

Runnergirl2242

aliciarose-totally not being snarky in reply. My point was more like would you change your plans about your membranes being stripped if you were two weeks overdue and they said they would induce you if you did not start labor? Because thats more what I was getting at. Just how you can make a plan like I dont want my membranes stripped, and it can totally go out the window with one unforseen change of circumstance. That why I said its more like a plan under optimal conditions...which I hope that you have, sincerely. Its just that it often has not for me, my friends, and family. I totally understand about not wanting them to do stuff to you without your permission. I am shocked that any OB would do that without your permission or telling you first.

love_melongtime

StarLightStar22:

love_melongtime:

Mrs. Mo:

MrsSMJD:

My FFFC? The next person who tells me not to pick up my hiking backpack or rake the lawn or go through my weight lifting routine because I'm pregnant will get a boot up their @$$! I'm not disabled: I'm pregnant...there's a huge difference. I like an excuse to take it easy as much as the next person, but since I'm not endangering my baby, back off!

And I have to agree with Mrs. Mo about the BF vs FF thing. I'm planning to BF, just because it's what my mom did and so it's something I'm comfortable with. But living in the UK, I swear all the literature you get and the midwives and doctors you visit seem to be doing their best to bully you into BF by insinuating that FF means that you care less about your baby's health! I hate that the BF/FF decision gets turned into such a moral issue. 

This is exactly how I have been made to feel by anyone who has questioned our decision and honestly, I shouldn't feel like I have to go into details about why we are FF.  For us, our child will be a heck of a lot healthier being FF. Plus, we won't be constantly worrying that any of the meds I am on will end up on one of those Dane Shuleman commercials (they know they are excreted in breast milk but not enough studies have been done to show that there are no longterm negative effects)

Thanks for sharing this. I admit it- when I hear of a woman who is not even going to try and BF, I always wonder why on earth wont you just try it, especially considering it is what most doctors/midwives/pedis etc recommend. Now I will know to be more open minded and understanding, so thanks.

I think there are so many reasons people cant and it really is hard to explain to everyone. Our babies will be FF due to me having two breast reductions and multiple different doctors telling me I will never be able to bf now due to the damage. I hate having to explain myself and my MIL seems to think I am a horrible person for not thinking about that before I had the reductions and states that my children will not be healthy now.

Yikes! That's so ridiculous! I had a breast augmentation a few years ago (incision under the breast, so there should be no issue with BFing) and I've had a couple of people (SIL and BIL, they know I had them done) ask me if i'm 'still going to at least try to breast feed'. I DO plan to breastfeed, but it's definitley annoying discussing my boob job with people so I definitely understand.

soon2bjmn

pearblossom:

AF_EOD_wife:

christiney06:

MH has had a bad back off and on for years.  the past 3 months it's been really bad, he's had two injections of something and it's done zip.  now he might be looking at surgery.

 the FF part? I am mad that he isn't the one taking care of me. I have major BP issues (had pre-e/had to deliver 6wks early w/ #1) and should be resting as much as possible.   I know he is legit pain but i am so sick of hearing him moan and groan all night long.  I know, wife of the year  

I'll share the wife of the year title with you. My husband has pilonidal cyst disease, which is basically a cyst that forms on your extreme lower back/butt crack. Anyway, he's had it removed TWICE. I've got asthmatic bronchitis now and yet here I am, doing the dishes, vacuuming, because his butt hurts. I had foot surgery alone while he was deployed adn guess what--chores still had to get done. I vacuumed while on my knees, did dishes and cooked using a rolly-office chair for 8 weeks.

I know my husband is in legit pain, too, but I'm with ya. It would be nice to be taken care of from time to time instead of constant caregiver. 

MH has this too. It really is a pita (har har) for everyone involved. I've always resented having to help care for the wounds, as I am pretty damn squeamish. Our doctor told us they tend to lessen with age. Have you guys found this to be true?

DH has had a number of them but zero in the past 2 years. He is 32... maybe age related I dunno

Soon2BMrsN

jonnygurl76:

my FFFC's:

1) i can't wait for some of the ladies on this board to have their LO's.  having a child turns your world upside down....you will go back on the things you said you would "never" do and makes you question yourself in a way that nothing else does.  i just think the thought process and the attitudes will change for more than a few ladies and i think it will be interesting.

I couldn't agree more.

ecartstan

CakeBatter:

I don't understand road side memorials and memorials on cars. I think the latter is particularly AW-ish.

 I'm with you on this one.  There is one memorial on the highway near my home that gets updated every holiday and season.  The problem? When the family updates it, they block a lane on the highway.  I always wonder "This is where your loved one died, do you want to join them?" The speed limit is 65mph and they had 5 cars and a mulch truck blocking a lane.  You can't see the cars until you are almost right on it.  The memorial has been there for at least 10 years.  I just keep thinking if every family that lost a love one on this highway had a memorial set up, there wouldn't be any space left to drive.

christinaramirez08

StarLightStar22:

love_melongtime:

Mrs. Mo:

MrsSMJD:

My FFFC? The next person who tells me not to pick up my hiking backpack or rake the lawn or go through my weight lifting routine because I'm pregnant will get a boot up their @$$! I'm not disabled: I'm pregnant...there's a huge difference. I like an excuse to take it easy as much as the next person, but since I'm not endangering my baby, back off!

And I have to agree with Mrs. Mo about the BF vs FF thing. I'm planning to BF, just because it's what my mom did and so it's something I'm comfortable with. But living in the UK, I swear all the literature you get and the midwives and doctors you visit seem to be doing their best to bully you into BF by insinuating that FF means that you care less about your baby's health! I hate that the BF/FF decision gets turned into such a moral issue. 

This is exactly how I have been made to feel by anyone who has questioned our decision and honestly, I shouldn't feel like I have to go into details about why we are FF.  For us, our child will be a heck of a lot healthier being FF. Plus, we won't be constantly worrying that any of the meds I am on will end up on one of those Dane Shuleman commercials (they know they are excreted in breast milk but not enough studies have been done to show that there are no longterm negative effects)

Thanks for sharing this. I admit it- when I hear of a woman who is not even going to try and BF, I always wonder why on earth wont you just try it, especially considering it is what most doctors/midwives/pedis etc recommend. Now I will know to be more open minded and understanding, so thanks.

I think there are so many reasons people cant and it really is hard to explain to everyone. Our babies will be FF due to me having two breast reductions and multiple different doctors telling me I will never be able to bf now due to the damage. I hate having to explain myself and my MIL seems to think I am a horrible person for not thinking about that before I had the reductions and states that my children will not be healthy now.

Starlightstar22 I'm right there with you. I had a breast reduction about 5 years ago and due to the amount of tissue that was removed, I too am unable to BF. My right nipple and the right side of my right breast is still numb! I was told from the beginning prior to having the surgery that I would have a 5% chance of BF'ing. Well I took that risk because they were so big I just couldn't take it anymore.

Fortunately all of my family and most of my friends know about the reduction and so I don't get any flack from them. My older sister did ask if I was at least going to try and I said no. The physical pain it would cause me to have a baby suck on my nipple is not worth it to me. And I'm sure my LO will be able to sense my discomfort.

Stay strong and stand your ground and remember you do not have to explain your situation to or reasoning to anyone!!!

Sunburn19

ecartstan:

CakeBatter:

I don't understand road side memorials and memorials on cars. I think the latter is particularly AW-ish.

 I'm with you on this one.  There is one memorial on the highway near my home that gets updated every holiday and season.  The problem? When the family updates it, they block a lane on the highway.  I always wonder "This is where your loved one died, do you want to join them?" The speed limit is 65mph and they had 5 cars and a mulch truck blocking a lane.  You can't see the cars until you are almost right on it.  The memorial has been there for at least 10 years.  I just keep thinking if every family that lost a love one on this highway had a memorial set up, there wouldn't be any space left to drive.

I've lost every single person in my family over the last ten years (almost to the date), with the exception of my dad, and I cannot figure out why people do these things.  I agree with you, it drives me NUTS.  Why do I have to dragged into your wallowing every time I drive by?  I can kind of see putting up something one time, maybe, right after it happens, but continuing it month after month, year after year is no way a healthy means of dealing with it.  It's completely in the AW category.  

SpinningJess

Janimal:

gkmacdon:

My FFC is... I get annoyed with women who act like they should get a medal for having a drug-free birth and those who do it just to "prove" they can take the pain. I don't think pain, for pain's sake, is a virtue or anything spectacular. I wouldn't go to the dentist and refuse Novocaine just to prove that my body could take it. I am planning on having a drug-free birth because after lots of research we decided we'd rather not have the baby exposed to all of the drugs that can come with L&D and because of the possibility that introducing drugs could cause labor to slow down. But I dislike when how some mommas seem to think that going drug-free is about proving you can handle the pain or that you're some kind of super woman.

Just because someone wants a med-free birth doesn't mean they think they are superwoman or have something to prove.

Just as you and I have the right to choose epirdurals and I have the right to a repeat C section, other mommas have a right to want medfrre if they like - for whatever reasons they choose.

Having a med-free birth is akin to running a marathon - it's something to be proud of.  Beause it's not easy, and more people than not choose to avoid it.  So yeah, call me/us what you will, but I'm damn proud of having my son without any pain management!  (Closest I'll come to a marathon....this gal only runs if there is a vicious dog chasing her hahaha!!)