WWYD? sry its long

beccabride2be

I posted this question a couple months ago on the nest, but we've recently started TTC and my opinion has changed a little bit since then so i thought id see what you ladies would do.

My FIL offered DH to join him in his pizza business in AL at the end of his enlistment (4.5 years). At first i was completely against him getting out of the AF and moving to AL to be near his family and the businesses. But the salary is way better than what we'd get if he stayed in, minus the medical and travel benefits although we'd be able to afford those. And we'd be really far away from my family (MA) and basically next door to his. 

If you had the opportunity to get out of the military for a better paying job, less strenuous hours, no deployments, a civilian life, and have your kids grow up in one place that they call home, would you do it? I've been apart of the military since birth, and the short 3 years i was out in the real world, i had such a hard time adjusting to civilian people. But my DH is miserable in the AF and i feel like a horrible person for wanting him to stick it out a little longer to see if it gets better.

I know there are tons of pros and cons for each side, id just like to know what would you do?

Oh and the plan was to stay in until the end of 4 years and not re-enlist, but now he wants to have a kid so the military will pay for it, then get out early. 

TIA

gigismomma

I would get out.  I mean the scenario you are giving points to "get out". 

But in all honesty I like being a military family and part of the military community.  My H joined the Marines a few yrs after college.  We lived a civilian life with our DD.  I had her under my insurance and did not pay anything to have her.  I miss living in the city and I miss my family but such is life.  My H's MOS keeps us here and I have a really good job. 

If your DH doesn't like his job can he try another one? I am not familiar with the AF.  Also if your DH is going to get into the pizza business with his father that does not sound like a 9 to 5 to me.  You and your DH have to weigh the pros and cons.  Is he going to like the pizza job are you going to like living by his family?  There are alot of benefits being in the military hands down.  If you can get a better deal outside of the miltary for you and your family go for it.

Good luck either way

beccabride2be

I would be happy staying in the military, but i could also be happy if he gets out. I love the military lifestyle as well. But i dont have to deal with the crap my DH does first hand. I dont know if cross training into another career field is possible because the one he is in now is always in demand for people. nor do i know if it will help him.  If he goes to the pizza business he will be working along side of his dad, they will split the workload so that they both have relatively easy work week. I can figure out how to live so close to his family, just like i have figured out how to be on my own. DH is not happy and i want him to be happy. 

ufsandra85

I would get out. My husband has been in 16 years and he is considering it. There comes a point where you have to ask yourself "is being away from family worth it" for my husband the answer is no longer yes. If he doesnt like being in the AF he needs to get out. There is no reason to stay in a job if you are miserable it just puts a strain on your family and makes the job even worse. Good luck!

Lissa832

How long has he already been in? DH is a networker. If he got out after this enlistment, he could make at least 2-3 times what he makes now. It is definitely something that we think about, but he will have been in for almost 13 years at that point. He can serve another 7 and get some retirement benefits. It makes just as much sense to stay in, even with the less pay. Why? Job security. He can retire at 37, get retirement, and still be young enough to have a career in the civilian world. If this is your DH's first term, it would make more sense to get out.

beccabride2be

this is DH's first term. he signed up for 6 years thinking he was gonna like it. we aren't even half way through it yet. i sometimes feel like if he gets out early it will be like he is quitting and i wonder if he can live with that.

norvelln

When I was a first termer, I said I didn't want to do it past 4 years.  That was 4 reups ago. 

There have been parts that I did not care for and there are parts that I adore.  I am not sure how the AF works, but for the Army, there are not many ways you can "get out early" in a favorable manner.  You signed the contract and you are expected to complete it.

I have known people who meant to join, never did and now cannot (disqualified). I have also seen several who said ((FK this)) and ETS'd only to rejoin later because the "awesome" job they had lined up was not so awesome and they had family to maintain.

My daughter was about a half a million to deliver and that was 16 years ago.  We paid about 30 dollars total.  We have had opportunity to travel and experience cultures that most only read about.  I met my most wonderful husband on AD.  We are in a position that enables us to have husband be a SAHD.  We are truly blessed in the fact that we are financially secure enough we do not have to rely on family or strangers to raise our baby just like with our daughter.There are a ton of good things that we have experienced through the Army.  There are some bad as well and honestly, that is just part of life.  If I quit everytime I didn't like something, I would be married like, 100 times by now.