Feeling Guilty

ErinC1984

I know I should be so grateful for my husband to be helping out around the house, and I very much am! But Im also feeling so guilty. I work 13 or 14 hour days so he is happy to have dinner ready and do the dishes even though he works full time too (we dont have other kiddos - this is our first)... my doctor instructed me to really take advantage of resting on my days off since my work days are so long but I feel really bad sitting on the couch while my hubby is already being Mr. Mom...  any advice or anything on how to not feel this way? Its hard letting go of my role as the Woman of the House right now. I know it sounds so old-fashioned but I enjoy the duties - it's part of taking care of my husband and our home. Thanks!

d-squared

You are doing a very important job right now...incubating your child  I know how you feel I work 14+hrs as well and my husband does most of the chores while I sleep because I'm more exhausted now a days. Just let your husband know how grateful you are for his help and maybe bring home dinner one night to show your appreciation.

asweeney07

I know how you feel!! I'm very type-A about doing things around the house and having things done a certain way. I hate asking for help if I really don't need it (or feel like I don't need it). It's been such a switch being okay with sitting down while DH goes and gets me water or picks something up off the floor (this baby really has me pooped at only 9 weeks!). But d-squared has a very good point -- you're already doing a very important job in addition to your long work-days; you're growing a whole new life!

Or, as my MIL so aptly puts it, "Enjoy it now, cause once the baby comes, it's gonna be all about the baby and not you!" [I don't particularly like looking at it that way, but I know it's true on some level. Enjoy the pampering now.] 

OK, off for my second baby-growing-nap of the day! [I tell you, I'm so pooped!]

Daisy07gray

Aww, I love my roles too- but have actually had some worries that lead to conversations (not resolved, but discussions are good, right?!) about how roles and responsibilities would shift with my being tired and birthing and having a baby and how things would change again with my working (outside of the home) part time while he works from home. 

I would think with such a helpful husband, I'd let him know how grateful you are and maybe take on tiny tasks (your favorites) when you're up to it.  Our role is such a beautiful one I am hoping to stay happy despite being tired or not feeling great. 

wilkat2009

I totally can relate, I also don't like to sit around while others are doing the work.   my advice would be just to make sure that you are letting him know how much you appreciate him pitching in.  I am sure he probably is more than happy to help!  I think that the hubbys can sometimes feel left out of the whole process since they cant really "grow" the baby, so I think when DH helps out its his way of contributing! 

Just sit back, relax, and enjoy having a wonderful DH!  

ErinC1984

Thanks for input!!  I do feel better knowing Im not alone. We had a long talk last night about how much I appreciate what he is doing and thanking him for doing all of these things in spite of my random hormonal imbalances and naps hahahha. I feel much better this morning (and i have the day off!) so Ive spent the morning dusting, vacuuming, wiping counters, etc. He will have a clean house to come home to tonight. Thanks again ladies!