A little freaked out says the pg MoM with older toddler

kellyjg123

My 3 yo DS is going through a horrific stage of defiance and tantrums.  He has always been a sensitive child and we are no strangers to tantrums but lately it has gotten so bad I have had a hard time calming myself down in the midst of his biting/scratching/screaming fits.

I know that remaining calm and riding out the storm is the best way to handle the situation but my nausea/fatigue and hormones from the pregnancy are making the process all that much harder. 

I feel like I am failing every day as a mom and now we have two more on the way.  I find myself wondering how in the world I am going to handle tantrumsx2 or even just my son's tantrums while I have newborns. Lord have mercy, ahhhhhh!!!

MamaCrystal

It's definitely hard!  My big thing right now is that my older boys are constantly wrestling and causing trouble (like pulling all of the couch cushions off for fun).  I feel bad because I spend so much time disciplining them that our girls have to wait for my attention (and they sweetly do).

There are times that I have to just put the girls first and tell the boys "You need to be patient because your sisters need me right now."  If they cry or complain, then so be it.  With 4 kids, we've come to realize that everything goes in phases.  One week, we feel like one child is needing a little extra love and attention, but then it's someone else the next week.  It's all about balance and trying to help the kids understand that.

Good luck!

orange682

Hang in there- it looks like your little one just turned 3.  DD was horrible for a few months before and after she turned 3, but after a while, she went back to her old self.  DD is 3 years and almost 4 months, so hopefully you don't have too much to wait. 

I know exactly how you feel and am petrified too. 

missfire

I've had a lot of bad days with my DS1 where I feel like I just can't stand him. Such a horrible thing to feel about my beloved little boy, but he has some horribly inconvenient tantrums these days, and I am exhausted and stressed by all the baby crying already. And I feel like a horrible mom when I feel that way and when I'm impatient with him. The two things that usually help me are to remind myself that he has such little control over his life and just wants to feel like he has some, and to say my feelings out loud when I'm getting angry ("Momma's feeling mad because of all the food thrown on the floor/because we need to leave and you won't sit in your carseat/etc."). It gives me a little more patience to try to talk him through the tantrum and convince him to do the right thing on his own. ETA: and at those times, I CANNOT let myself think about what it will be like to have TWO toddlers! Eek.

kellyjg123

Thanks for the support ladies, just knowing that there is someone else out there that is in a similar situation is of comfort to me.  We all will get through this.  I keep reminding myself 'this too shall pass.'

lkstor

No great advice, but I'm right there with you. DS is almost 2 and has never been an "easy" kiddo. I'm really struggling with my patience with all these hormones and feel incredibly overwhelmed when I think about life with 3u3. Hang in there! We can do it. And we'll look back and laugh