Houston Babies

At what point do you get upset with DC about accidents?

I know during PTing you're not supposed to scold about having accidents. However, DD has been fully PTed for 5 months. She doesn't often have an accident, and if she does, it's usually just a couple drops and she stops herself and tells me she needs to go potty. But this afternoon she all-out emptied her bladder in her undies, just because she didn't tell me she needed to go. It infuriates me because I know she recognizes the sensation of needing to go, she just got lazy and didn't feel like stopping what she was doing to do it. I firmly (but not really angrily) told her that she needs to let me know if she needs to go to the bathroom, and not to do it in her undies. I wanted to get more upset with her but didn't know if there was a line I still shouldn't cross.

So WDYD when your well-trained kid has accidents?

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Re: At what point do you get upset with DC about accidents?

  • Do you make her clean up the mess?  Maybe if she starts having to take the time to clean up the mess, she won't be lazy about it anymore.  Make it a long drawn-out process to do the cleaning - maybe even make her "wash out" her undies in the sink or something.  Something that makes it not fun that she might think before she goes.

    I am dreading PTing!  I see why you shoudln't "get" upset, so she won't have a complex about it - but it sounds very frustrating!  I'm sorry!

  • image CareBear01:

    Do you make her clean up the mess?  Maybe if she starts having to take the time to clean up the mess, she won't be lazy about it anymore.  Make it a long drawn-out process to do the cleaning - maybe even make her "wash out" her undies in the sink or something.  Something that makes it not fun that she might think before she goes.

    I am dreading PTing!  I see why you shoudln't "get" upset, so she won't have a complex about it - but it sounds very frustrating!  I'm sorry!

    This exactly. She is responsible for her body, so if she knowingly goes in her underwear, teach her to clean it up herself and make her do it every time. (of course if she goes poop in them knowingly, still make her clean herself up, but help her out so you don't end up with poop all over her and the bathroom. :p Oh, and yes, keep your cool as best you can.
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  • we had a regression at about 5 months after potty training.  It also coincided with the baby being born.  It was frustrating as all get out, but I know she wasn't doing it to be downright defiant, she was just being lazy, getting too involved in playing and not paying attention to her body.  I think when we first potty train our kids they go potty when they tell them to and after a few months they truly start realizing the sensation, the need to go.  That's when they figure the whole potty thing out for themselves.  Perhaps this is where she is in her potty training right now.  I hope this phase passes quickly for you, but know that it might pop back up when her baby sister arrives. 
  • It is very NORMAL for kids to have accidents even a couple year after they are trained. I agree with PP that she needs to be responsible for herself when this happens but you should not scold her about it. Just be very matter of fact- you peed in your pants, please go change. You can definitely expect many more times of regression and just plain occasional accidents. It's totally normal and, while annoying, really not worth being upset about.
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  • jen5-03jen5-03 member

    It's not unheard of for kindergarteners to have accidents at school, so no, I do not get mad at her. She does know I'm disappointed, and that it's not something that makes mommy happy, but she's usually pretty upset about it herself without me saying anything. She also hates that her beloved Dora panties are wet (Dora's all wet! I don't want Dora to be wet!) I don't make her clean it up by herself, but she helps me.

    DD didn't have a ton of accidents, but in the first year of being PTd there were probably a dozen. One week when DS was tiny she has 3 or 4 doozies (2 in very public places) and that made me want to cry because she'd been trained for almost a year. Since then, I can't really remember any that she's had while awake.

     

    - Jena
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  • Oh... Another thing we tried after multiple accidents was taking away princess panties and wearing plain panties for 3-7 days with an accident. That always got her back on track because she hates to be without her princesses.
  • I've never been upset with A when he would have an accident; not to say I wouldn't have been frustrated because of course it would happen at the most inopportune time like when I was bfing his brother (Gosh I don't miss those days!). I can't remember the last time he had an accident, but even after I would have considered him fully potty trained there were some, We would talk about it, I would ask him why he didn't use the potty (most times I would get a shoulder shrug), explain to him he was too big to go in his pants, and then he would help me clean it up.

    Honestly, Im surprised at how quickly, like age-wise, A potty trained - I don't think it is uncommon or unnatural for a three year old to still have accidents. We really are asking a lot of them to understand it all starting so young. 

  • Avery went through a phase of doing it on purpose 5-12 times PER DAY for a few weeks.  It really sent me over the edge.  Once I started ignoring it and acting like it was no big deal, she stopped doing it.

    For a one off accident, I think everyone else just about covered it.

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