:(

JessMartin

My daughter is now three weeks old, and this rollercoaster I'm on is unlike any other thing I've experienced. There are moments in the day where I feel like I'm the only one in the world that can calm her down, and keep her happy. But other times in the day, (and these outnumber the good moments), I feel like I can't calm her down, and I can't make/keep her happy. She'll start screaming (not crying), and I have already fed her, changed her, burped her, etc. but I can't get her to quiet down, my mother comes in the room, and picks her up, and she stops immediately. Times like that, I feel like I'm not cut out to be a mother, and I really only feel like the reason she needs me is because of the breast milk. I lay in bed while she does sleep and cry, and then cry even harder when she wakes up and starts screaming again. I feel like I'm so early into being a mother that I shouldn't feel like this. I don't have any friends or anyone close to me to talk to, and I'm sure that that doesn't help either. I'm just utterly confused I suppose.

kikis first

I feel the exact same way

JessMartin

Do you have any one to talk to?

kikis first

I have my husband, but I'm not quite sure he understands. He says he knows it's hard, but he goes to work and I'm left to handle her all day. He is really good about taking care of her when he gets home, but he does work 2 jobs, so he is not home 3 nights during the week. I think I just need to bite the bullet and talk to the dr about it, I'm just not the kind of person that reaches out and asks for help. Have you considered talking to your dr?

JessMartin

I feel like if I talk to my dr then I'm a bad mom, even though I know plenty of women question themselves. I'm not even sure I would know how to phrase the whole thing.

kikis first

Jess, I sent you a private message, instead of continuing our conversation here

scyriacks

My son is almost 4 weeks old, and I actually started to cry reading this because I can so relate to what you are going through. We just started my son on alimentum this week and he seems a bit better but still has his rough feedings and colicky times. Sometimes I look at him sleeping and think please dont wake up because i feel like the only time i have sanity is when he is sleeping. I threw my back out this week and it is so painful to hold my son and walk around with him and try to soothe him. You arent alone, I just want to feel normal again.

LittleGus

JessMartin:

I feel like if I talk to my dr then I'm a bad mom, even though I know plenty of women question themselves. I'm not even sure I would know how to phrase the whole thing.

 

I don't know if you will check this again, but I wanted to put in my 2 cents that if you are struggling, you are the best mom ever if you call and ask about seeking some help or if seeing what you're going through is hormonal.  There is NO shame in calling.

Hang in there Momma.  I had a super rough start also and I know everyone says this, but its so true that things WILL get better.

 

Please call.

JessMartin

scyriacks:

My son is almost 4 weeks old, and I actually started to cry reading this because I can so relate to what you are going through. We just started my son on alimentum this week and he seems a bit better but still has his rough feedings and colicky times. Sometimes I look at him sleeping and think please dont wake up because i feel like the only time i have sanity is when he is sleeping. I threw my back out this week and it is so painful to hold my son and walk around with him and try to soothe him. You arent alone, I just want to feel normal again.

 

 I think the exact same thing. It's incredibly rough when she wakes up and just screams, sometimes I'll be nursing her, and she'll detach herself and scream for a few seconds. I don't know what I'm supposed to do when I feel like I've done everything I can. I'm really sorry about your back. If you need someone to talk to, send me a private message. :