Blended Families

What now?

History:  My SS is 9.5years old and my DH has had him overnight on Wed for about 9 years now.

 

So remember last week when BM text DH about an hour beforepick up to say they were away for a few day and could he take him another night.  Well it was a holiday weekend and the onlyother night was the Friday as it was our weekend anyhow.  That would mean I would collect SS on theFriday and take care of him on Sat as DH would be working.  Anyhow DH did not even ask me as he knew Ihad plans so basically we just missed Wed night visitation.

 

Last night DH showed up to collect SS at his house.  BM answered the door and acted totally confusedas to why DH was there.  She told DH thatSS was at this friends house and she did not know when he would be back.   She did invite DH in to wait for him.  DH asked her to call SS so he could gocollect him at his friends house but she refused and again wanted him to comein and wait.  He declined and leftwithout SS.  BM told him he can make itup this weekend.

 

Now for those of you who do not know our story BM has beenpretty adamant for the past year or so that we give up our Wed night and takeSS every weekend.  DH really doesnot mind one way or another but I am adamant that we do not.  We would not be gaining any extra time BUT Iwould be responsible for taking care of SS as DH works Sat and I am not willingto do it. 

 

So here we are at an impasse.  Anyone got any advice?  The court system in Ireland is very differentto US so that is not even an option. 

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Re: What now?

  • Oh, wow.  She's in bitchstealth mode.  Can your DH pick him up from school on Wednesdays?
    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • He gets him every wed from school, however, SS is on Easter break for two weeks, last week and this week.

     

     

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  •     
  • image Phantomgirl:

    He gets him every wed from school, however, SS is on Easter break for two weeks, last week and this week.

     

     

    I'd see how things go once school is back in session - hopefully she's just being odd because SS is on Easter break?

  • Personally, if I was in your situation, I'd stand my ground. If you are that convicted in what you want, you aren't gaining anything extra, just swapping time and it's being more inconvenient to you. Make her take you to court if she wants to change it.

    On a side note, maybe H should send BM an e-mail about informing him before hand if SS has plans during his parenting time, as it's an inconvenience to you guys.

    Why was she so hell bent on him coming inside to wait? If she didn't know when he would be back there is no telling how long he would sit there. What did she want him to do? Talk about the weather with her?

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  •     
  • image J&A2008:
    Oh, wow.  She's in bitchstealth mode.  Can your DH pick him up from school on Wednesdays?

    Freakin' HILARIOUS! LOL! I'm totally going to use that.

  • Does he have a cell phone and if not can you get him one so that DH can call him directly?  Unfortunately there is not much you can do when you cannot rely on the system to help you.  Hopefully it will be better next week but then you might be back to this in summer.  What is your summer arrangement?
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  •     
  • image Phantomgirl:


    Now for those of you who do not know our story BM has beenpretty adamant for the past year or so that we give up our Wed night and takeSS every weekend.  DH really doesnot mind one way or another but I am adamant that we do not.  We would not be gaining any extra time BUT Iwould be responsible for taking care of SS as DH works Sat and I am not willingto do it. 

     


     

    I don't normally comment on these because I don't really have any advice, but I'm just curious as to why you refuse to take care of SS on Saturdays when you DH works? 

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