VBAC Pusher

cchill01

Do you find yourself feeling sad for/wanting to advise Moms who just blindly accept the RCS mumbo-jumbo their providers are feeding them?  A few times in the past weeks, I've been around Moms who are scheduling their RCS without even a thought to a VBAC.   I've never really been the type to butt into someone's medical life, because I'm not a doctor and it's really not my place.  Well except for here on the Bump, where everyone is an expert : -)

What do you do in these situations?  Suggest a VBAC?  Let it go? 

nosoup4u

I try to stay away from birth politics unless asked directly. I was talking to another mom (who I don't know very well) about how DS2 was a VBAC, and she told me her second kid was a RCS. The reason she decided to have a RCS was bc she had a horrible long labor with her first kid, and didn't want the same thing to happen again. Looking at it that way, I can totally understand why a woman wouldn't want to attempt a VBAC. There are huge hurdles in place for any woman to have a normal, straight-forward vaginal birth in the current maternity system, and it's about 10x harder for someone with a previous c-section.

CherryStarburst

Usually I just CASUALLY say, "oh, you don't want to try a VBAC?" if they say no I just leave it, if They say their Dr. Won't allow it but they want to I usually refer them to ICAN or my Dr/MW, and if course if they want to know more I'm always happy to talk about it

papagena

I haven't come across that IRL yet - I don't have a lot of close friends who have kids, and only one of them has had a c/s, and I know she'll be trying for a VBAC when the time comes.  I probably would at least do what pp said - ask if they were interested in VBAC to see if it was a Dr. thing.

MAprincess

Anyone who knows me IRL knows that DD was a VBAC and that I really educated myself on the subject.  So, I have had friends come to me asking for advice.  If I just meet a woman I don't really know and it comes up, I might mention that DS was a C/S but DD was a VBAC and let them ask if they want to.  I don't ask them why they made the choices they did unless they open the door for it.

Traycee1242

nosoup4u:

I try to stay away from birth politics unless asked directly. I was talking to another mom (who I don't know very well) about how DS2 was a VBAC, and she told me her second kid was a RCS. The reason she decided to have a RCS was bc she had a horrible long labor with her first kid, and didn't want the same thing to happen again. Looking at it that way, I can totally understand why a woman wouldn't want to attempt a VBAC. There are huge hurdles in place for any woman to have a normal, straight-forward vaginal birth in the current maternity system, and it's about 10x harder for someone with a previous c-section.

ITA.

Plus you have to remember... not all women have horrible c/s experience (my heart goes out to those who have)

I for one had an amazing c/s experience... I totally owe that to my amazing OB. But I would have no problem getting a RCS... my OB is the one who is pushing for the VBAC. I am actually worried my VBAC (if I have one) won't be as good as an experience.. I'm terrified of pushing, tearing, etc.

LGraham927

Traycee1242:

nosoup4u:

I try to stay away from birth politics unless asked directly. I was talking to another mom (who I don't know very well) about how DS2 was a VBAC, and she told me her second kid was a RCS. The reason she decided to have a RCS was bc she had a horrible long labor with her first kid, and didn't want the same thing to happen again. Looking at it that way, I can totally understand why a woman wouldn't want to attempt a VBAC. There are huge hurdles in place for any woman to have a normal, straight-forward vaginal birth in the current maternity system, and it's about 10x harder for someone with a previous c-section.

ITA.

Plus you have to remember... not all women have horrible c/s experience (my heart goes out to those who have)

I for one had an amazing c/s experience... I totally owe that to my amazing OB. But I would have no problem getting a RCS... my OB is the one who is pushing for the VBAC. I am actually worried my VBAC (if I have one) won't be as good as an experience.. I'm terrified of pushing, tearing, etc.

 

I'm with you on this one. With my LO, my water broke and I was in labor for 10 hours and ended up having to have a CS because his heart rate was dipping. I had an AMAZING CS experience, but would like to try VBAC with the next one, but if I can't I would be happy with a RCS. After my LO was born and I found out that he was nearly 9 lbs (8 lbs 15 oz to be exact), I was actually thankful I didn't have to push him out because he probably would have done more damage that way.

iris427

I try to stay out of it if a woman says "I'm not a candidate for VBAC" or "my doctor doesn't do VBAC" or "I'm not interested in VBAC."

However if I see a post on TB that contains misinformation about VBAC in general, not someone's specific situation, I will say something about that.  Or if someone says "I really want a VBAC but my doctor doesn't do them," I might encourage them to look into other options.

I definitely don't want to push my visions of childbirth onto other women, just like I wouldn't want someone pushing RCS on me.  What's right for me isn't always going to be right for them. 

ryemo

I usually say "Well we all have to feel empowered in our birth decisions, so if that empowers you I support it." Personally, feeling powerless was the worst part of my CS so I do mean that. At the same time, I bite my tongue when they say "You are so brave." I want to say "The baby has to come out somehow and I am just trying to do it the easiest way possible."

lorryfach

I don't say anything unless I have a reason to think they aren't happy about the situation. If someone wants a c/s for any reason, good for them. If they want a VB, good for them. It's really not my business either way.

+diana82+

No. I don't assume people scheduling RCS are doing so blindly. Especially since I've been back and forth so many times on the issue since I got pg it makes my head spin.

preg_amy

Yeah, I don't say anything.  It's really not any of my business.  If they bring up that they want a VBAC, but for some reason are having troubles finding support or a provider... then yeah, I might say something.  Or, like Iris said, if someone has some misinformation, I might correct them.

But if someone is talking about birth choices and say they want a RCS, it's not my place to judge.  Like pp said, some people had good c/s experiences.  And on the other hand, some people might have had bad c/s experiences... which could mean they want to be able to plan for another c/s to avoid having to have one in an emergency situation or so they can control the situation better.

There are a lot of reasons that people choose certain options for their birth experience.  I have a hard time stepping in and trying to change minds when it comes to something so personal.

michaels_lovely

Unless I am asked about my birthing expiriences, I keep my mouth shut.  I see it as being that person who tells me(or any other vbac-er) that my uterus is going to rupture or a rcs is healthier for me and baby...ect...except the opposite, ya know?

I do get asked a lot though...my first birth is epic in our circle of aquaintances/friends/family because my mom loves to talk about it.  I use those times to be a vbac pusher, lol.

Luv4Minnesota

I wouldn't say that I am a VBAC pusher, but I would say I am an information pusher.  If the topic comes up I am quick to quote stats and correct misinformation. 

I do believe that it is a very personal and individual decision, but that that decision should be based on information and research, not just because your mom/neighborh/OB/whoever said it is better for you to get a RCS.