Wow, I am STILL not over my induction turned section... — The Bump
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Wow, I am STILL not over my induction turned section...

A work friend of DH's just posted her birth story on her blog. She had some complications around 36 weeks (including pre-e) and ended up being induced. She had a "successful" induction (there were other complications), but her CUTE baby came out in 5 pushes! When I got to that part of the birth story, I was genuinely happy for her, but I also felt this pang of anger/regret/sadness/jealousy that I haven't felt in a very long time. Our friend was 36weeks, I was 42, and I had a 44 hour induction ending with a section. She was induced and in a couple hours had a vaginal birth to a healthy baby. Not fair. I am VERY happy for her, don't get me wrong, but this birth has really churned up some feelings I thought had passed.
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Re: Wow, I am STILL not over my induction turned section...

  • I know how you feel. My SIL recently had her son bia natural and vaginal birth in literally a couple of hours of labor and 5 pushes. I wanted a natural birth with DS but ended up having a section after 15 hours of labor and he was just not coming. I had progressed to almost 9 but he was big and turned funny. I also had a section with DD because they were so close together and given that DS was large, they feared uterine rupture if she ended up being big too. It was a good thing because she turned and ended up breech. If we have a # 3 I REALLY want to try for a natural vaginal birth.
  • I am a lurker coming out of hiding because I have to respond to this post. I had a 30 hour induction that ended up in a c-section and still am upset about it. A few friends of mine have had successful inductions lately and even 9 months later I am a little sour about it. Also, a friend of mine just had a c-section and posted pictures of their son, her husband, and herself right after her c-section and I ended up getting upset about this. For my c-section they almost forgot to bring my fiance in and showed me my son for a total of 30 seconds and it still stings to think about it. I really thought I was crazy for having these feelings. Sad
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  • I know how you feel.  I didn't end up with a section, but I did have a very traumatic birth.  Everytime I see a birth on tv, or a movie now, I burst into tears and all of those emotions come flooding back.

    I don't have any words of advice, but I can say you aren't alone. 

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  • I am finally over my failed induction (first baby), but I am still emotional about the way my 2nd baby hospital stay went.  DS was sick and not able to visit me for the time I was in the hospital.  I had never been away from him for more than 1 night and I could still cry thinking about how sad I felt bonding with my new baby and not being able to share/experience/help transition with him.  Now, I realize that I was only there Tuesday am until Friday afternoon, but it felt like a year.  I sobbed when he showed up with DH to pick me up.  He wanted nothing to do with me and I felt like a traitor.  We all have our vision of how we hoped things would go.  Every time I see a picture of siblings in the hospital with their coordinating shirts/onesies, I feel a little bit sad and jealous.
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  • Every birth experience, ever doctor, every baby, every Mom is so different.  Do not compare your experience to that of another.  Cherish what you do have and try to make what you want a reality the next time.  We can't change the past, all we can do is accept it and move on.

    I was induced 3x.  35 hours, 15 hours and 10 hours.  That said, even though they were vaginal - I bet I had just as many stitches as a C-section!!  I am thankful for my little girls!!

  • I feel the same way about my IF issues over 2 years ago.  Even now, 2 kids later, I still get jealous when I hear about women getting pregnant with ease.  Most of me is happy, but there's still that little voice in my head asking why they were so lucky.
  • I'm one of those people who had a good induction experience - vaginal after 18 or so hours of labor...just a few pushes. I had planned on an unmedicated birth (went to a hypnotherapy class and everything) but my blood pressure had other plans, so I was induced at 39 weeks (on bedrest for two weeks prior to that). Luckily, I never had pre-eclampsia. In any case, I just about drove myself crazy obsessing over the possibility of a c-section while on bedrest. I know it could have easily gone there, based on what I've heard from others. I guess I just want to say that I'm so sorry things didn't go as you had hoped in your case. It could have just as easily been me.
  • image Alexandra*sMom:

    Every birth experience, ever doctor, every baby, every Mom is so different.  Do not compare your experience to that of another.  Cherish what you do have and try to make what you want a reality the next time.  We can't change the past, all we can do is accept it and move on.

    I was induced 3x.  35 hours, 15 hours and 10 hours.  That said, even though they were vaginal - I bet I had just as many stitches as a C-section!!  I am thankful for my little girls!!

    Honestly, unless you've experienced what the OP went through, it's unfair for you to talk about how everyone is different and accepting the past and moving on.  Yes, my son is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.  But, the fact that I did not get the vaginal birth that I had always pictured for myself and my LO, will forever upset me. 

    OP, I was also 42 weeks pg, giving my LO every possible chance to come out on his own.  36 hours after being induced, I was rolled into the surgery room, crying and in disbelief.  I am still very much effected by the way things happened with his birth.  I certainly would feel similarly to you in that situation. 

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  • I was watching a baby show the other day and there were several moms portrayed who had very easy birth experiences. I could not believe how emotional it made me feel and I'm not a very emotional person. I had to change the channel or I would've started bawling. I had an extremely long labor (~32 hours) which was followed by a c-section - exactly what I did not want.

    I don't think many people can really understand how traumatic having a c-section can be - not for everyone but for some people. I know before I went through it, I probably would've read this post and said, What a Whiner! You have a beautiful baby.. Just recognize that and be happy.

    Well I am happy and love my son more than anything. But there's something deep inside that gets stired when I hear about other people's easy labors. For me, the emotional scar is much deeper than the physical scar on my belly. I'm hoping both will fade with time!

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  • image NicoleR524:
    Honestly, unless you've experienced what the OP went through, it's unfair for you to talk about how everyone is different and accepting the past and moving on. 

    My birth experiences weren't all rosy, happy times.  No, I did not have c/s - but things did not go as planned either.  I do not care to hash details, but for me, the best thing has been to just accept it.

  • I don't know if I will ever 100% get over my birth experience. Not a section, but I was induced at 41-1/2 weeks and I got a uterine infection and fever during labor because the OB broke my water and DD didn't come until almost 24 hours later. Because of the fever plus me being GBS+, DD had an automatic NICU admission. And she got stuck in the birth canal and we needed the vacuum, which caused me to hemorrhage. So, I didn't get to hold DD right after she was born, or nurse her for six hours (she got a bottle of formula before they would even let me try to nurse), and I was on IV antibiotics for two days, which made it really hard to see her because I had to be in my room all the time. I am sad that I didn't get to hold her right away or spend a lot of time with her in those first few days. (And I almost wasn't able to nurse - I had to work my freaking ass off in order to make that happen)

    But, I think it's okay to not "get over it", as long as we don't dwell on it too much or let if affect our happiness for others. It's not like we aren't grateful for what we do have. I suffered from IF and am soooooo grateful for DD (and ditto pp about feeling a little jealous when people get PG the normal way), but that doesn't mean I don't feel a sense of loss over my birth experience. 

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  • image wuhhoo:

    I was watching a baby show the other day and there were several moms portrayed who had very easy birth experiences. I could not believe how emotional it made me feel and I'm not a very emotional person. I had to change the channel or I would've started bawling. I had an extremely long labor (~32 hours) which was followed by a c-section - exactly what I did not want.

    I don't think many people can really understand how traumatic having a c-section can be - not for everyone but for some people. I know before I went through it, I probably would've read this post and said, What a Whiner! You have a beautiful baby.. Just recognize that and be happy.

    Well I am happy and love my son more than anything. But there's something deep inside that gets stired when I hear about other people's easy labors. For me, the emotional scar is much deeper than the physical scar on my belly. I'm hoping both will fade with time!

    This was very well put.  I am usually more eloquent but I was really put off by the pp about accepting the past...


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  • image Alexandra*sMom:

    image NicoleR524:
    Honestly, unless you've experienced what the OP went through, it's unfair for you to talk about how everyone is different and accepting the past and moving on. 

    My birth experiences weren't all rosy, happy times.  No, I did not have c/s - but things did not go as planned either.  I do not care to hash details, but for me, the best thing has been to just accept it.

    People reach acceptance in different ways. It is usually not by somebody telling them to accept...that sounds dismissive and minimizes what they are going through.

  • image Alexandra*sMom:

    image NicoleR524:
    Honestly, unless you've experienced what the OP went through, it's unfair for you to talk about how everyone is different and accepting the past and moving on. 

    My birth experiences weren't all rosy, happy times.  No, I did not have c/s - but things did not go as planned either.  I do not care to hash details, but for me, the best thing has been to just accept it.

    Right, that's what's been best for you.  But OP was talking about how she has NOT gotten over it. And the rest of the posts have been people who can understand because they've gone through something similar and are still feeling something similar. 

    I think the worst advice people can give is to say get over it or move on or that's not a big deal or something to that effect.  Pain, trauma, sadness, emotions are all relative and if something is upsetting me, I want sympthay, empathy, to hear similar stories, to know that I"m not alone.  Not, to hear how someone who had a different experience then me, an experience that is closer to one that I wanted, is telling me to accept the past and move on.  

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  • image Alexandra*sMom:

    I was induced 3x.  35 hours, 15 hours and 10 hours.  That said, even though they were vaginal - I bet I had just as many stitches as a C-section!!  I am thankful for my little girls!!

    And I would like to add that ordinarily, recovery from inductions with a vaginal birth are tons easier than recovery from a c-section. This is coming from somebody who had an induction with vaginal birth, and knows many women who have had c-sections. You can't even compare. But I certainly don't know the details of your situation. Your comparison just seems unfair.

  • Thank you for all the responses. It does make me feel a little better to know I am not alone. I am tearing up over here feeling grateful for this community of people who understand.
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  • image JJ1973:
      You can't even compare. But I certainly don't know the details of your situation. Your comparison just seems unfair.

    Fair enough.  I did not have a c/s so I don't know what that is like. 

  • I think it's pretty common to feel that way. I wasn't induced but made it all the way to 10cms and DDs heartrate dropped and she wasn't coming down. I ended up with a section. Whenever a girlfriend or someone has a vaginal delivery I get jealous. I feel like I missed out on something and I wonder why me? I think it is really common and the only people who can most likely understand our feeling have to have been in our shoes.


  • image nycnola:
    Thank you for all the responses. It does make me feel a little better to know I am not alone. I am tearing up over here feeling grateful for this community of people who understand.

    I'm jumping over from 3-6 just to say that you deserve some big hugs.

    I wanted an all natural, med free, vaginal birth too. I went into labour at around 41 weeks and everything was progressing great until I hit 9 cm's.... DS was being pressed up against my pelvis and couldn't pass through and I couldn't handle the pain anymore. Neither the laughing gas or the epi worked to get rid of the pain I was in. After 2 hours of pushing, they told me that he was absolutely stuck behind my pelvis and that they needed to do a c-section. I bawled. I can still vividly remember them trying to strap my legs down to the operating table and me crying because I couldn't keep my legs straight, down and together... I was having contractions every minute for 45 seconds and feeling EVERYTHING. All I could think about was that I didn't want to hurt my baby by pushing anymore... which was almost impossible by that point.

    The horrible thing about it is that the reason why he couldn't get past my pelvis was because of a car crash I was in with my DH a week after we got back from our honeymoon 4 years prior. We were driving home from my grandfather's funeral when a woman ran a red light going 80 kms/hr. I couldn't walk for 2 months afterwards, but they told me I wouldn't have any problems having children. Well they were wrong. The right side of my pelvic opening is collapsed in. 

    I'm so scarred by the fact that something that was supposed to be such a beautiful experience was ruined by that woman, my injury and those horrible memories.

    I've spent many nights crying over what happened.... many people have said "Well all that matters is that he's here now.". That's NOT all that matters. I feel like I wasn't able to give birth to my own son and show him how much I loved him as soon as he arrived... I wasn't even the first to hold him. It's impossible to explain how it feels to someone who has never gone through it... 


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  • image Under.the.Rose:

    image nycnola:
    Thank you for all the responses. It does make me feel a little better to know I am not alone. I am tearing up over here feeling grateful for this community of people who understand.

    I'm jumping over from 3-6 just to say that you deserve some big hugs.

    I wanted an all natural, med free, vaginal birth too. I went into labour at around 41 weeks and everything was progressing great until I hit 9 cm's.... DS was being pressed up against my pelvis and couldn't pass through and I couldn't handle the pain anymore. Neither the laughing gas or the epi worked to get rid of the pain I was in. After 2 hours of pushing, they told me that he was absolutely stuck behind my pelvis and that they needed to do a c-section. I bawled. I can still vividly remember them trying to strap my legs down to the operating table and me crying because I couldn't keep my legs straight, down and together... I was having contractions every minute for 45 seconds and feeling EVERYTHING. All I could think about was that I didn't want to hurt my baby by pushing anymore... which was almost impossible by that point.

    The horrible thing about it is that the reason why he couldn't get past my pelvis was because of a car crash I was in with my DH a week after we got back from our honeymoon 4 years prior. We were driving home from my grandfather's funeral when a woman ran a red light going 80 kms/hr. I couldn't walk for 2 months afterwards, but they told me I wouldn't have any problems having children. Well they were wrong. The right side of my pelvic opening is collapsed in. 

    I'm so scarred by the fact that something that was supposed to be such a beautiful experience was ruined by that woman, my injury and those horrible memories.

    I've spent many nights crying over what happened.... many people have said "Well all that matters is that he's here now.". That's NOT all that matters. I feel like I wasn't able to give birth to my own son and show him how much I loved him as soon as he arrived... I wasn't even the first to hold him. It's impossible to explain how it feels to someone who has never gone through it... 

     OMG, hugs right back at you! I am devastated for you. Thank you for your message and empathy, it seriously means so much.

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  • image nycnola:
    image Under.the.Rose:

    image nycnola:
    Thank you for all the responses. It does make me feel a little better to know I am not alone. I am tearing up over here feeling grateful for this community of people who understand.

    I'm jumping over from 3-6 just to say that you deserve some big hugs.

    I wanted an all natural, med free, vaginal birth too. I went into labour at around 41 weeks and everything was progressing great until I hit 9 cm's.... DS was being pressed up against my pelvis and couldn't pass through and I couldn't handle the pain anymore. Neither the laughing gas or the epi worked to get rid of the pain I was in. After 2 hours of pushing, they told me that he was absolutely stuck behind my pelvis and that they needed to do a c-section. I bawled. I can still vividly remember them trying to strap my legs down to the operating table and me crying because I couldn't keep my legs straight, down and together... I was having contractions every minute for 45 seconds and feeling EVERYTHING. All I could think about was that I didn't want to hurt my baby by pushing anymore... which was almost impossible by that point.

    The horrible thing about it is that the reason why he couldn't get past my pelvis was because of a car crash I was in with my DH a week after we got back from our honeymoon 4 years prior. We were driving home from my grandfather's funeral when a woman ran a red light going 80 kms/hr. I couldn't walk for 2 months afterwards, but they told me I wouldn't have any problems having children. Well they were wrong. The right side of my pelvic opening is collapsed in. 

    I'm so scarred by the fact that something that was supposed to be such a beautiful experience was ruined by that woman, my injury and those horrible memories.

    I've spent many nights crying over what happened.... many people have said "Well all that matters is that he's here now.". That's NOT all that matters. I feel like I wasn't able to give birth to my own son and show him how much I loved him as soon as he arrived... I wasn't even the first to hold him. It's impossible to explain how it feels to someone who has never gone through it... 

     OMG, hugs right back at you! I am devastated for you. Thank you for your message and empathy, it seriously means so much.

    Thanks... it's amazing how the memories can come flooding back and take you by surprise!  


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  • I think your feelings are valid. Birth is a tremendously personal and emotional topic. If I may, here's some silver lining. Pelvic organ prolapse sucks. A global one at that. The grass is always greener...I sit here in envy of your c-sections, regretting my 10lb3oz vaginal delivery every day. It affects my life in ways you'd never believe. Can't carry groceries or hop like a bunny with my 3 year old without organs trying to escape.
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  • Bumping from my phone. OP I know exactly how you feel and I feel the same way. After 27 hours of labor never got past 8cm and DS never got Passed 0 station and I had an infection amenity fever which made his heart rate drop. I had an emergency c section and was so scared and nervous. I Was bawling. DH was in Afghanistan at the time so I was freaking out. He was born and everything was fine Until 6 hours later when I hadn't seen him for more then30 seconds because he was breathing really heavy. Well, he was born With a severe birth defect that wasn't caught. CDH was the defect. I had no Idea what it was and the dr who was telling me hardly Spoke English so after he left I googled and was in shock. My mom And I saw him in the NICU and before he was transferred to childrens hospital we were told he probably wouldn't make it to childrens. I was numb. I couldn't even cry. My mom went to see him the next day And was with him at surgery on day 4. I was still in the hospital And DH was on his way home from Afghan. We saw him at 5 days old, held him and fed him at 9 days old and he never latched so I never got to BF. :( my supply disappeared With all the stress. I felt robbed and still do. His repair ended up tearing open Again in November so he had another Surgery. Our lives will never be the same and we are Done with kiddos. I didn't feel like a mom till we brought him home. It was horrible.
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  • image Alexandra*sMom:

    Every birth experience, ever doctor, every baby, every Mom is so different.  Do not compare your experience to that of another.  Cherish what you do have and try to make what you want a reality the next time.  We can't change the past, all we can do is accept it and move on.

    I was induced 3x.  35 hours, 15 hours and 10 hours.  That said, even though they were vaginal - I bet I had just as many stitches as a C-section!!  I am thankful for my little girls!!

    Uh, nope. Not even close. There are hundreds of stitches for a c-section and 5 layers of tissue that is sewn back together.

     

    OP: I get very angry thinking of how my last birth went. My son's birth was somewhat traumatic, being induced and ending up with a csection after only 40mins of hard labor. I was wheeled into the OR on my hands and knees with an O2 mask on and an internal monitor sticking out. I was put under and didn't get to hold DS for several hours after. Because of the emergency situation I in no way wanted to try for a VBAC to avoid what happened the first time. No luck, I had another emergency situation and my daughter had to be flown to a hospital 2 hours away. A few of my friends have had children this year and I get upset every time I see the happy pictures of their little families and holding their babies right after. My daughter will be 1 in a few weeks and I have nightmares about her birth quite often. It's awful.

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  • DuckLover, how traumatic! I'm so sorry for all you went through. Can't even imagine! And without your husband there, how scary.
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  • It is perfectly normal to be upset about it.  I have had two previous vaginal deliveries prior to DD2.  When I was 35 weeks I found out DD2 was breech.  I tried everything to get her to turn.  You name it, I tried it. My husband may never be able to get the mental picture out of his head of me 9 months pregnant and inverted on the stairs, panting like a dog. 

    I tried convincing my OB to let me try a vaginal breech delivery and he said absolutely not.  My hospital won't allow them anyway.  I cried for days/weeks.  I was even a little mad at the baby if you can believe that.  

    We went in for an ECV, and if that didn't work then a c-section.  I was 39 weeks.  I still get upset about it.  I didn't get to hold her for more than an hour.  They finally brought her into recovery because I threatened to get up and walk to wherever she was.  But even then I only got to hold her/nurse her for about 20 minutes. 

    And like a PP, I had never spend a night away from my DD1.  I was terrified of the recovery, and how I was going to be able to take care of a newborn and a toddler.  

    With my DS, I had tearing all the way to my rectum.  The stitches were awful, and it was painful, but nothing like a c-section recovery.  I even had a relatively easy recovery and it was still awful in comparison. (Better drugs though. Stick out tongue)

    It is OK to feel jealous, and upset.  I was just reading a post on the Natural board about vaginal breech deliveries, and it made me upset all over again.  Kind of like I didn't try hard enough for it. 

     

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  • I guess even though I had a less than desirable birth, I'm okay with it.  I was induced and was 38 hours in labor.  I had a failed epi...in that it numbed my legs so I couldn't move them, but I felt everything else.  At 36 hours I was told I should start thinking about a c-section.  I didn't want one.  My sister had one and her recovery was awful.  I asked for a little more time and then halfway through pushing my baby was in distress and I got a complete episiotomy and vaccum delivery.  If I could go back and do it again, I'd have the section.  Asher was taken to the nicu after delivery for some oxygen.  He scored really low on his apgar because he was out of it from all the heart rate drops.  For me, I guess I wish I could just go back and listen.  I wish I'd been more open to deviating from my plan.  For me I wanted pain management and I didn't get it and I wanted a safe delivery and instead I got a scary one.  Next time if my doc recommends a section I'll go with it.  Instead I got a complete episiotomy and I still have some troubles due to it. 
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  • I know how you feel. I was so depressed when I had my C-section. I am a very tiny person anyway and my 9 pound 8 oz baby got stuck. I could not believe I was have a C-section ! I felt very guilty because I wasn't able to breastfeed him at first sight- I had to wait 2 hours ( I was VERY drugged up). I eventually realized that it wasn't my fault and I did everything I could ! It's not your fault, don't feel guilty or jealous like I used to. You have a happy healthy baby !

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  • I'm sorry, but if you are still not over loosing your perfect dream birth then you need to seek professional help. Especially if you are getting jealous of a mom who got induced at 35 weeks because of pre-e.  It sucks that you didn't get your fantasy birth, but very few women do and you need to be grateful that you were able to bring a healthy FULL TERM baby into this world! So what if you didn't get exactly what you wanted, as far as birth stories go, seriously, you had a healthy baby that got to come home with you! Yeah your friend was able to squeeze out her baby in 5 pushes, but it was probably much smaller than yours considering it was 5 weeks early! Get help or get over it and be grateful for what you have, instead of focusing on how one day of your life didn't go as planned! DSame goes to the rest of you who are complaing about having to have a c-section or be induced!
  • I know how you feel. I ended up with a c-section because of my DD being breech. I didn't find out until 37 weeks and tried everything to turn her, even going to a chiropractor. Thee only thing I didn't try was a version, and I kind of regret not asking for one even though they probably would have refused me. I get upset about it whenever I watch a show on tv where someone has a vaginal birth. I'm happy to have DD and that she was born healthy. Heck I even had an easy recovery and got to see and hold her right after my surgery, but I'm still upset I never even got to experience labor or anything. I feel like I didn't really even give birth. I hate when people tell me I'm lucky that I didn't have to do contractions and all of that because I don't see it that way. I feel robbed. I'm hoping for a VBAC next time around. I already talked about it with my OB and she said I would have to go into labor on my own by 39 weeks. Sorry for the lack of paragraphs, typing from my phone.
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  • I'm sorry, but if you are still not over loosing your perfect dream birth then you need to seek professional help. Especially if you are getting jealous of a mom who got induced at 35 weeks because of pre-e.  It sucks that you didn't get your fantasy birth, but very few women do and you need to be grateful that you were able to bring a healthy FULL TERM baby into this world! So what if you didn't get exactly what you wanted, as far as birth stories go, seriously, you had a healthy baby that got to come home with you! Yeah your friend was able to squeeze out her baby in 5 pushes, but it was probably much smaller than yours considering it was 5 weeks early! Get help or get over it and be grateful for what you have, instead of focusing on how one day of your life didn't go as planned! DSame goes to the rest of you who are complaing about having to have a c-section or be induced!

     

    You don't get to invalidate other's feelings just because you had it "worse".

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  • image mrstarawalsh:

    I'm sorry, but if you are still not over loosing your perfect dream birth then you need to seek professional help. Especially if you are getting jealous of a mom who got induced at 35 weeks because of pre-e.  It sucks that you didn't get your fantasy birth, but very few women do and you need to be grateful that you were able to bring a healthy FULL TERM baby into this world! So what if you didn't get exactly what you wanted, as far as birth stories go, seriously, you had a healthy baby that got to come home with you! Yeah your friend was able to squeeze out her baby in 5 pushes, but it was probably much smaller than yours considering it was 5 weeks early! Get help or get over it and be grateful for what you have, instead of focusing on how one day of your life didn't go as planned! DSame goes to the rest of you who are complaing about having to have a c-section or be induced!

     

    You don't get to invalidate other's feelings just because you had it "worse".

    Just because you have a feeling doesn't make it valid.

  • image mrstarawalsh:

    I'm sorry, but if you are still not over loosing your perfect dream birth then you need to seek professional help. Especially if you are getting jealous of a mom who got induced at 35 weeks because of pre-e.  It sucks that you didn't get your fantasy birth, but very few women do and you need to be grateful that you were able to bring a healthy FULL TERM baby into this world! So what if you didn't get exactly what you wanted, as far as birth stories go, seriously, you had a healthy baby that got to come home with you! Yeah your friend was able to squeeze out her baby in 5 pushes, but it was probably much smaller than yours considering it was 5 weeks early! Get help or get over it and be grateful for what you have, instead of focusing on how one day of your life didn't go as planned! DSame goes to the rest of you who are complaing about having to have a c-section or be induced!

     

    You don't get to invalidate other's feelings just because you had it "worse".

    Just because you have a feeling doesn't make it valid.

     

    Sorry to burst your bubble, but you don't get to decide who's feelings are valid, either. You sound bitter.

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  • image mrstarawalsh:

    I'm sorry, but if you are still not over loosing your perfect dream birth then you need to seek professional help. Especially if you are getting jealous of a mom who got induced at 35 weeks because of pre-e.  It sucks that you didn't get your fantasy birth, but very few women do and you need to be grateful that you were able to bring a healthy FULL TERM baby into this world! So what if you didn't get exactly what you wanted, as far as birth stories go, seriously, you had a healthy baby that got to come home with you! Yeah your friend was able to squeeze out her baby in 5 pushes, but it was probably much smaller than yours considering it was 5 weeks early! Get help or get over it and be grateful for what you have, instead of focusing on how one day of your life didn't go as planned! DSame goes to the rest of you who are complaing about having to have a c-section or be induced!

     

    You don't get to invalidate other's feelings just because you had it "worse".

    This...for real!  Like I said earlier, everything is relative and subjective and personal.  The way something effects me will most likely effect someone else completely different, and that's okay.  Just because you think you had a more serious event happen to you, there will always be someone else who had even worse then you and think you are lucky with your story. 

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  • I'm sorry, but if you are still not over loosing your perfect dream birth then you need to seek professional help. Especially if you are getting jealous of a mom who got induced at 35 weeks because of pre-e.  It sucks that you didn't get your fantasy birth, but very few women do and you need to be grateful that you were able to bring a healthy FULL TERM baby into this world! So what if you didn't get exactly what you wanted, as far as birth stories go, seriously, you had a healthy baby that got to come home with you! Yeah your friend was able to squeeze out her baby in 5 pushes, but it was probably much smaller than yours considering it was 5 weeks early! Get help or get over it and be grateful for what you have, instead of focusing on how one day of your life didn't go as planned! DSame goes to the rest of you who are complaing about having to have a c-section or be induced!
    Wow! I'm not one to call people out, but this was a very insensitive response! At no point did OP or anyone say they were ungrateful. People can't help how they feel and sometimes you can't just "get over it."
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  • I know how you feel, and your feelings are VERY common and completely valid!

    My c-section was almost 6 years ago, and I still have those feelings of regret and sadness. I do feel very lucky that my 2nd baby was a successful VBAC, and that has done a lot to help with my emotional healing. 

    There's nothing worse than when people say "A healthy baby what's important and how it got here doesnt matter, so quit whining about it and be grateful!"  As though we would TRADE our healthy babies for the birth experience we had hoped for! That's not the point at all, and you're entitled to grieve for the experience you didnt get to have while still rejoicing the healthy baby that came out of the experience you got. 

  • image emiliemadison:

    I know how you feel, and your feelings are VERY common and completely valid!

    My c-section was almost 6 years ago, and I still have those feelings of regret and sadness. I do feel very lucky that my 2nd baby was a successful VBAC, and that has done a lot to help with my emotional healing. 

    There's nothing worse than when people say "A healthy baby what's important and how it got here doesnt matter, so quit whining about it and be grateful!"  As though we would TRADE our healthy babies for the birth experience we had hoped for! That's not the point at all, and you're entitled to grieve for the experience you didnt get to have while still rejoicing the healthy baby that came out of the experience you got. 

    I agree. While a healthy dose of perspective is sometimes called for (baby-gaga's "gender disappointment boards" come to mind), we can all feel however we want about a birth experience and separate it in our minds from gratitude for a healthy child. I said I regret my vaginal delivery every day, but not my child. Never my child. Now, if depression over birth becomes consuming, yes, by all means seek support to help you move past it. But that doesn't sound like the case here, just healthy venting. I feel for the poster with the premature baby, and she's entitled to strong feelings, too. But someone can always one-up you on the pain and suffering scale.
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  • Wow this has turned into a competition of who had it the worst. I pushed only five times but it was at 30 weeks and didn't get to hold my baby until a week after giving birth.He didn't come home for 7 weeks.  Do I win?j/k

    Everyone has their own idea of what the perfect birthing experience would be. Does that every really happen? We should all be grateful we have healthy babies at home. 

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  • image holn76:

    Wow this has turned into a competition of who had it the worst. I pushed only five times but it was at 30 weeks and didn't get to hold my baby until a week after giving birth.He didn't come home for 7 weeks.  Do I win?j/k

    Everyone has their own idea of what the perfect birthing experience would be. Does that every really happen? We should all be grateful we have healthy babies at home. 

     

    Who's not grateful? Confused

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  • image holn76:

    Wow this has turned into a competition of who had it the worst. I pushed only five times but it was at 30 weeks and didn't get to hold my baby until a week after giving birth.He didn't come home for 7 weeks.  Do I win?j/k

    Everyone has their own idea of what the perfect birthing experience would be. Does that every really happen? We should all be grateful we have healthy babies at home. 

    Sorry dude, you don't win. My first daughter died. 

     No one has said we weren't greatful for having healthy children at home. I'm sure every one of us are beyond happy with our children. However, birth is such a personal experience it's not unuseual to be upset that our births ended in major surgery.

     

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