The difference between fussing and crying

dNoodle

Do y'all draw a distinction between fussing and crying? Like when you lay your baby down, do you consider it ok for them to "fuss" but not to "cry?"

The reason I ask is because honestly, I never thought about it. My baby is little, when he cries I pick him up right away. Last night, my husband said something like, "well, he's just making noises, he's not actually crying. Why don't you let that go for a few minutes, and if it turns into crying, go pick him up." Sure enough, he made little noises for a few minutes and then fell asleep.

I feel like a total idiot for not considering that every sound he makes is not urgent.

theprincessPAT

I distinguish between crying and fussing.  DD's crying is a lot louder than her fussing.  I'll let her be for a few minutes if she's just fussing.  But I'm with you, when she starts crying I try to get to her right away.

sometimesalwayschaotic

I find that if I got too soon to my Lo it actually makes it worse.  Sometimes she just needs to fuss and squirm around to get comfortable and to settle down.  If I go in to soothe her during her fuss stage I'll just wake her up more and she won't fall asleep.  If I let her go she'll either fall asleep or escalate.  Usually she will fall asleep if it's just a little fussing.  I figure I can't always run to her quickly because then she won't learn to fall asleep on her own.  I do not like to let her cry at all though.

LordValuemart

I listen attentively when he fusses because that can escalate very quickly with him, but I don't rush to his side every time he makes non-happy noises. It's about 50/50 whether or not he'll start screaming his face off though, hence the listening attentively.

TBLilyRose

Don't worry, it took me a few weeks to distinguish between the two and not pick him up at every noise. Now I pretty much wait until he's actually undoubtedly crying.

Under.the.Rose

There definitely is a difference between fussing and crying... My son hardly ever really cries because he knows that he doesn't need to get super upset before I come to help him. I find it's better not to let it escalate. 

If he's super tired, he'll make his "sleepy sounds" (grumbling, grunting, "ehh" noises). He fights sleep a lot now that he's older and more aware of his surroundings, so I know if I let that kind of fussing go he'll get more and more upset because he gets more and more tired. This is the main reason he gets fussy these days... plus he's teething so I'm sure he's uncomfortable and it can be hard to sleep.  If he's tired I find picking him up makes it worse... it's better to respond by getting him comfy, darkening the room, shushing/singing to him, etc. 

cros8380

when DD was that little I didn't consider things like that either! If this is your first baby, don't fret, you're still learning (as am I!) I'm still getting used to the "nothing stays the same" part of raising a child...they are ever-changing, so maybe last week if you let LO "fuss" it may have ended in a crying fit. This week, it didn't. Next thing you know, he'll be falling asleep on his own. Just keeping reading and absorbing information, pay attention to your LO (you will know him better than us Bumpies) and you'll figure it out! Isn't it exciting to know he put himself to sleep though!

P.S. We didn't put LO down or let her fuss/cry/whine for the first 8 weeks of her life because we didn't realize that we "could". Like there was some invisible baby police who would arrest us and take her away if we let her peep for a second. Boy, were we tired!

kcisthebombdotcom

With #1-I would tend to him the second he made a peep.

With #2-I let her fuss. Sometimes she does for a few minutes to put herself to sleep.

watermellens

I wish I could let him fuss himself to sleep, but 9 times out of 10 he starts to fuss b/c he paci fell out. I've tried ignoring it, but it turns to full on crying and screaming and then he's totally awake and angry. So I tend to go in right away, replace the paci and then leave.

Mrslovebugs

Yes. There is a big difference between fussing and crying, IMO.

I will let DD fuss for a few minutes. I will NEVER let her cry. I will go to her immediately as soon as I can tell those small grunts and fusses are turning into real whines and ultimately cries. So I try to get to her before it turns into a full on cry. 

For example, we're dealing with the 4 month wakeful a little bit right now. Where she wakes up to eat in the middle of the night, but then just wants to play for an hour or two after that. After unsuccessfully putting her back to sleep, I'll put her in her crib, and go back to bed. I listen to her talk to herself on the monitor for a little bit. Most the time after a while it'll turn into a little bit of fuss, then after a minute of that, silence. haha. If she really starts fussing, I get out of bed and go in and give her the binky and she'll fall right asleep.