MoMs + Toddler ... If you have NO family help, who helped?

gambler2100

I'm trying to figure out who is going to help us when these babies are ready to come out. We have a 22 month old who will need someone to care for him while we're in the hospital. Anyone else have no family help? My parents are deceased and my husband's are really old and not capable of helping (other than cooking dinner and being good company).

We have a nanny starting in a month to help with our 22 month old but she is taking summer classes (she's a grad student) so she can't just be the full-time help while we're in hospital. We have friends who don't have kids who are capable but not knowing the timing of the arrival feels difficult to nail someone down. Could ask a friend who has a child/children but that seems like such an imposition. But probably the best option. We could hire a service but I hate for it to be a random person he doesn't know. I'm probably making this more difficult than it needs to be...

Any ideas? Experiences?

 

Temp6313048411121614

We do/did have some help, but not much "baby help" like most people talk about.  DH went home every night to be with DS1.  DH was home when I got home from the hospital for 2w and then it was me and 3 kids by myself everyday.  Keep in mind that babies sleep A LOT for the first few weeks so it's really not that bad IMO (it's not like you get thrown into 3 active kids all at once).

bellasmom27

It's only DH and I and for weeks in advance I have already arranged with a good friend of mine (who also has kids) that she would take my daughter when I went into labor (for the day). We planned, if it was at daytime she'd pick her up from daycare for us and bring her back to her house until daddy could go and get her to go to hospital to meet her brothers. If it was in the middle of the night labor, she was sweet enough and willing to have her cell phone by her night stand in full volume in case I needed to drop off my daughter in the middle of the night. Luckily it was a daytime labor and everything worked out great. Now I take care of babies on my own in the daytime and DH getajome from work at 7pm and helps me with the 3 of them until midnight before he goes to bed cause he needs to get up at 5:30am. On the weekends he pretty mug takes over the boys for me while I spend some time with my daughter, we alternate every other weekend, who takes our little princess out and what not. It sucks not having help at all but if you plan it ahead it's duable.

google123

I think a nanny during the day sounds like a fine option.  Your son will get used to her, so I wouldn't worry about the fact that he doesn't know her.  All nanny's start out that way.  Then DH can go home in the afternoon and release the nanny.  Since you already have a child, and you are in a predicament (i.e. no family around to help) DH will just have to spend less time in the hospital and more time with your son at home.  It's just for a few days, and you will have all the nurses around to help you, so I don't see it as being a big issue.  That is...if you don't feel comfortable asking your friend, otherwise that's a great option.  That all depends on you and how close you are to her.  Has she offered that option to you?  If not, you may want to think it over. 

missfire

We had family help, but since they were a few hours away, we arranged with a neighbor to watch DS when I went into labor, until grandma could arrive. After the babies were born, I was recovering from a c-section and really needed more than my DH. I couldn't put on my own socks, get out of the recliner carrying the babies, etc. You might consider a postpartum doula to come help, and/or put your DS in a good daycare for a short time. Start early if you can so he's used to it, and to give you a break during your third tri.

gambler2100

google123:

I think a nanny during the day sounds like a fine option.  Your son will get used to her, so I wouldn't worry about the fact that he doesn't know her.  All nanny's start out that way.  Then DH can go home in the afternoon and release the nanny.  Since you already have a child, and you are in a predicament (i.e. no family around to help) DH will just have to spend less time in the hospital and more time with your son at home.  It's just for a few days, and you will have all the nurses around to help you, so I don't see it as being a big issue.  That is...if you don't feel comfortable asking your friend, otherwise that's a great option.  That all depends on you and how close you are to her.  Has she offered that option to you?  If not, you may want to think it over. 

 Hey - we're due the same time!! Yeah, thanks, these are good options. We just need to pick one and go with it!