Ready to TTC? Freaking out?

angelaggie

Ok, so I was going to go off my bc pills this week, end of pack.  Nope, can't bring myself to do it.  I'm skeered, bad.  We're officially trying in June, so I'll go off next month.  I only have one pack of pills left.

However, I'm scared to death.  Is this normal?  Or does this mean we aren't ready?  DH is ready, I think it's more me.  DH works a lot (at least 2 weeks a month away from home), and I kinda like being selfish and having him to myself.  Plus when he is here I don't want to be the wife that says, "No you can't be with your friends, you have a kid."  That's really my biggest, OMG

I also have fears if I'll be emotionally nutso coming off bcp.  I've been on them for 12 years without a break.  But really, no big deal.

We're fine financially, we have a great house, family support, all of that.  Just WOW!  A kid?!  Don't know, I just need some "you'll be fine" or "you should really wait."

I'm really just venting, and that was long....sorry

rssnlvr

For some women it may be different, but for us, it was never going to not be scary. Adding a child to your life is a big, scary thing to do. I think you'd be naive to not be a little bit nervous about it.

But you will be fine. And it's pretty much awesome. 

And if he's gone 2 weeks out of the month, I sure as HELL would have a problem with him being away from home while he is home.  But chances are he won't want to be gone as much as he does now. You'll find your new balance. :-)

AustinBride06

I was scared too.  I hadn't had BOTB in months and went back on BCP.  Then we got our surprise BFP after a user error taking the pills.  And realized that not only were we ready but we wanted it more than anything and wondered why we waited so long.

Totally normal to be scared though!

OrangeFelt

I feel you, and am RIGHT there with you!  We are going to go from "actively avoiding" to "whatever happens" until September or so, and then start trying after then.. and I'm both excited and freaking my freak at the same time. 

For me, I think its just the prospect of knowing that there is a whole world of change that I can't quite foresee ahead of me.  Yes, I've watched 90% of my friends go through it, but that doens't mean it'll be less of a challenge!  We've gotten all of our ducks in a row, and worked really hard to get here, meeting financial and professional goals. Its kind of surreal, honestly.

You will, however, be fine.  There will be some adjustment - and that 2 weeks away thing probably would not fly with me either - but you just have to have faith (in yourself, or a higher being, or in your DH/family) that you'll figure it out along the way.

You might be a tad bit nutso coming off bcp.  I went off of bc in May, and probably wasn't totally normal until about November.  It wasn't crazy, but I was a bit moodier.  Just make sure you and your DH are aware of it, and it'll be fine.:)

userdeleted

I think what you're feeling is really normal, and if you want to start TTC I don't think this is a "sign" that you're not ready or anything like that. I felt the same way both times, lol! I think this is one of those things you can't really be totally ready for until it's happening, ykwim?

balihaigirl

First off, I'm so excited for you!!  And yes, to answer your question, it is totally normal to be scared  -- having a baby DOES change your life (and IMO, it's a positive one)!  Good luck with everything!

Xtina712

You and your DH sound quite a bit like me and mine.  I haven't taken the plunge yet, but I think it's totally normal.  Good luck!

MrsMillerTime

angelaggie:

Plus when he is here I don't want to be the wife that says, "No you can't be with your friends, you have a kid."  That's really my biggest, OMG

Everything you're feeling is normal, but I just wanted to comment on this.

Once the baby comes, your DH will likely also want to stay home.  I was worried about DH wanting to spend "too much" time out with his friends once DD arrived and I was surprised how much of a non-issue it has really turned out to be.  Yes - there are times I have had to put my foot down, but for the most part DH has already made the decision to skip out on many of the social stuff we used to do prior to DD.  My point...it's easier said than done but try not to let it freak you out and think you're "not ready" to have a kiddo.

sandieleeann

I feel exactly how you feel.  I am going off birth control when we get back from vacation mid-May.  Some days I feel completely ready and wish I went off it a long time ago, and other days I freak out thinking I am not ready for this.  I am also scared about just not being on it.  I was never regular and that time of the month is very painful for me.  So I'm def. not looking forward to going back to that.

Jess.O

I think that's probably totally normal.  There are times when I feel like we are totally ready for all the ups and downs that will come with a baby.  Other times, I feel like our life is so good now that it'll just go downhill.  I won't list them out and put more worries in your head but I have some fears that I think are just totally irrational.  Yours sound like valid thoughts that anyone would have. 

ssinca

I don't know if anyone is ever ready, right? I'm scared and I can't exactly go back now! For us, it was kind of a no one is getting any younger type sitch. GL:)

angelaggie

Thanks ladies, you made me feel a lot better.  Espcially that DH may (probably) will want to be home more.  I'm excited but also scared.  glad to know that's normal.  I guess it's better than thinking everthing is going to be perfect

keado

I think its normal . . . its a huge change, that's for sure.  But there is nothing like holding your new baby in your arms.  It will be amazing

KristinD3

I think its definitely normal and I'm right there with you. I'm down to my last two weeks of bc pills and some days I am fine with it and others I question if we are ready yet or should put it off for another year.

Sounds like there are several ladies in the same boat so we can all get through it together. 

AustinMimi

We have a similar situation, but I think we are older than you guys are. Anyway, I also have some moments of being freaked out about adding a baby to our lives. For me, excitement and nervousness can go hand-in-hand. I would not worry so much about your DH wanting to go out with the guys. If he's ready and excited to be a dad, I bet his feelings about going out will change once your LO is around (but just in case, maybe plan to let DH have a few last hurrahs before baby arrives).

bluestreet

Rather than hoping for the best, how about talking to your DH? Tell him your fears about him being absent.

And make sure that for every night he gets to hang out with his friends, you get a night for you and your friends. I think giving each other a break can go a long way in recharging your batteries.

ETA: Motherhood will kick your a$$. I went through some serious freak-outs after becoming a mom. But I can also say that nothing has been more profound or grounding than motherhood. 

angelaggie

bluestreet:

Rather than hoping for the best, how about talking to your DH? Tell him your fears about him being absent.

And make sure that for every night he gets to hang out with his friends, you get a night for you and your friends. I think giving each other a break can go a long way in recharging your batteries.

ETA: Motherhood will kick your a$$. I went through some serious freak-outs after becoming a mom. But I can also say that nothing has been more profound or grounding than motherhood. 

Thanks. I have talked to him. But my DH is king of saying "whatever you want to do baby." he says he's ready and wants to be a dad but if I want to wait we will.