Ugh, neighbors (NBR)

Superchicy

I was playing with DD yesterday and look out our widow, and there is our elderly neighbor walking her dog in our side yard.  And it's not even like it's along the edge, she is way up in our side yard with her dog letting it pee all over. 

These are the same neighbors that knew we had the creeper looking in our window, and saw him doing it regularly, but wouldn't call the police for us because they "didn't want to be involved".  Grrrr. 

I'd really like to say something but I don't want to make enemies of them, they've lived here for like 30+ years and I'm sure word would get around.  And DH was just talking about fixing the bald spots in our yard the other day.  No use in doing that while there's a dog peeing in our yard. 

Moesten

Superchicy:

I'd really like to say something but I don't want to make enemies of them, they've lived here for like 30+ years and I'm sure word would get around.  And DH was just talking about fixing the bald spots in our yard the other day.  No use in doing that while there's a dog peeing in our yard. 

But haven't they already made enemies of you?

Asserting one's rights not to have their land used as some dog's bathroom is not being rude or mean. What's rude and mean is letting one's dog pee in someone else's yard. And so what if word did get around? What are they going to say? "That young couple had the nerve to be upset because I was taking Cuddles to do her business in their yard!" Doesn't that make *them* look like asses to whomever they're saying that to?  

Superchicy

Moesten:

Superchicy:

I'd really like to say something but I don't want to make enemies of them, they've lived here for like 30+ years and I'm sure word would get around.  And DH was just talking about fixing the bald spots in our yard the other day.  No use in doing that while there's a dog peeing in our yard. 

But haven't they already made enemies of you?

Asserting one's rights not to have their land used as some dog's bathroom is not being rude or mean. What's rude and mean is letting one's dog pee in someone else's yard. And so what if word did get around? What are they going to say? "That young couple had the nerve to be upset because I was taking Cuddles to do her business in their yard!" Doesn't that make *them* look like asses to whomever they're saying that to?  

I wish it worked that way.  Our neighborhood is slowly turning over to young families, but there are still quite a few of the "original" couples that first bought in our neighborhood and raised their families and still live here.  We have pretty good rapport with most of our neighbors, but the husband of this couple is pretty cantankerous at times, other times he's fine.  I just don't want to get on anyone's bad side.  I haven't seen poop yet, if I see poop then there will be words.  I'm not going to let DD play in the side yard anymore either. 

Moesten

See, I don't get that. We're going to have to agree to disagree on this. I believe that this is part of the problem with the world today. People don't want to "hurt feelings" or "be rude" or whatever when *they* are the ones on the receiving end of hurtful or rude behavior. When good people refuse to call others to task who are acting like asses the people who are jerks get to continue with their behavior unhampered and then good people complain and act victimized but never stand up for themselves. 

I believe there are non-hostile ways to "confront" people...

You: Hello Mr. Cantankerous Neighbor, I saw Mrs. Cantakerous neighbor had Cuddles out to do her business. I know with the hill it's a little confusing where the property lines are but our property begins at X and Mrs. Cantankerous had Cuddles all the way over here. I know you and Mrs. Cantankerous Neighbor are good neighbors and would NEVER deliberately let your dog do her business in our yard so I just wanted to quietly say something to avoid any embarrassment for you all. I sure hope this beautiful weather means Winter is finally gone and Spring is here for good. Looks like it's shaping up to be quite a season for the Reds, huh?" 

Superchicy

Moesten:

See, I don't get that. We're going to have to agree to disagree on this. I believe that this is part of the problem with the world today. People don't want to "hurt feelings" or "be rude" or whatever when *they* are the ones on the receiving end of hurtful or rude behavior. When good people refuse to call others to task who are acting like asses the people who are jerks get to continue with their behavior unhampered and then good people complain and act victimized but never stand up for themselves. 

I believe there are non-hostile ways to "confront" people...

You: Hello Mr. Cantankerous Neighbor, I saw Mrs. Cantakerous neighbor had Cuddles out to do her business. I know with the hill it's a little confusing where the property lines are but our property begins at X and Mrs. Cantankerous had Cuddles all the way over here. I know you and Mrs. Cantankerous Neighbor are good neighbors and would NEVER deliberately let your dog do her business in our yard so I just wanted to quietly say something to avoid any embarrassment for you all. I sure hope this beautiful weather means Winter is finally gone and Spring is here for good. Looks like it's shaping up to be quite a season for the Reds, huh?" 

I totally agree I am non-confrontational.  I am terrible about these kinds of situations and talking to people about things.  Our yard doesn't abut theirs though.  We are on a corner and they are across the street, so it's completely intentional.   It's not like "oops, fluffy went too far over the property line, oh well she has to pee".  Once I see poop though you'd better bet my butt will be over there to ask them to keep her off our lawn. 

teacherjess

I am ridiculously passive. I would probably let my neighbor's dog pee all over my yard and never say anything just to avoid a confrontation. Unfortunately, DH is the same way, which means we get walked all over ALL.THE.TIME. So I see where you're coming from. Moesten is right in that this is part of the problem with our world today, but I totally understand your hesitation. 

You should take Brooke over to poop in their yard. 

Superchicy

teacherjess:

I am ridiculously passive. I would probably let my neighbor's dog pee all over my yard and never say anything just to avoid a confrontation. Unfortunately, DH is the same way, which means we get walked all over ALL.THE.TIME. So I see where you're coming from. Moesten is right in that this is part of the problem with our world today, but I totally understand your hesitation. 

You should take Brooke over to poop in their yard. 

LOL!

anotapotamus

Perhaps consider this from a different angle.

This isn't about whether their dog is peeing in your yard, this is about whether your toddler is playing in pee-grass, or pushing toys through pee-grass, or kicking a ball through pee-grass.

Do you want your toddler coming into contact with their dog's urine? Spring is here. Summer is coming. And you've got a newly mobile creature that is going to fall down, play in, and probably put some of that pee-grass in her mouth.

I hope that adds a little clarity. 100% Team Moesten. I would say something - nicely - but in the end I really wouldn't be too afraid of hurting their feelings. They are old enough to know that letting their dog go in someone else's yard, regardless of whether it's #1 or #2 is wrong. I'd also be willing to venture that the Mrs. lets the dog go in your yard because Mr. C doesn't want the brown spots on his lawn. Their dog, let them endure the brown spots.

Regards,

~Someone with 2 dogs that doesn't even want another dog peeing in her yard