Grr... my sister (re: baby names)

TotallyLoCo

Mu cousin who is my age and his wife is pregnant with their second kid. I am happy for them, they are good peeps, but it makes me sad that I'm not pregnant at the same time as her, which would have been cool, and just another example of the sucky aspects of IF.

In any event, like 2 weeks ago I had this long conversation with my sister about potential names for our unconceived child. We need names that start with J (named after DH's grandfather), and I mentioned that I love Julia for a girl. My sister went on and on about what a great name that is and all the Julias she knows are so sweet...

So today my cousin puts a posting on FB asking for ideas for baby girl names, and what name does my sister post a rave about... yep, Julia. If they pick that I will be so sad. What was she thinking?

I know it's silly to get upset about a name for a child who is not yet conceived and has a 50% chance of being a boy, I think it's just knowing that if things went according to plan I'd be very pregnant or have a baby already and I would have had "dibs" on the name Julia.

boymamaco

That stinks! It would totally rub me the wrong way. She must not have been thinking, but still! Would it be completely irrational to a.) either ask your sister to remove her suggestion on FB, or b.) call your cousin and let her know that you really would love to use the name Julia?

I do have a friend that used to go on and on about the name Katie. It was almost like reserving it, but not quite. She ended up having twin boys (after struggling with IF for 5 years), and probably won't try for a third. In the meantime, we've had another friend who named her daughter Katie... even though the first friend isn't going to try for a third, I know it still stung for her. 

TotallyLoCo

I just posted a response basically saying, "how funny, Julia's is one of the names we're thinking about if we ever have a baby girl. It's good to know my sister would approve".  Hopefully that gets the point across. They got a bunch of suggestions anyway so hopefully they'll like one of the other ones better.

It's not so much them using the name, it's knowing that it should have been "my" Julia, you know?  If one of my friends named their kid Julia I would probably still do it, but for a first cousin who I'm reasonably close to, I think it would be weird to give our kid the same name. 

Mrs.McIrish

I can relate. Since I am AMA, all the names I have ever liked have already been scooped up by everyone around me!   When my sister was PG with #1, she told me a girl's name she liked. Of course it was one I wanted.  I wasn't married (and hadn't even met DH yet) so it was a non-issue. She ended up having a boy. I told her maybe I had time to steal the name back.  I met DH but she got PG before we were married and had #2, a girl and got to use the name.  Last spring, a college friend told me her name choice for a girl and of course it was one I really liked. I could still use it since we aren't close anymore but still. It's annoying.   I feel like there are no names left since we are so old and our families/friends have used up everything...  

I hope your cousin doesn't use the name and that your IVF is successful!  My original plan (what a joke..I was so naive and thought I could plan!) was to be giving birth in June. Instead I will be doing IVF.  It stinks!

klm195

I totally agree with you!!  When my SIL was pregnant with their 1st, her and I had a conversation about baby names.  I told her I loved the name Alyssa for a girl.  Guess what my oldest niece's name is.....  Yeah, so when they found out they were pregnant with a boy, I kept my mouth shut.  Luckily they are done now - after 4 kids and I still have my boy's name 'reserved'. 

Hopefully your cousin won't be in love with Julia and will get from your FB post that you are.  But it does suck!

Banana44

Does your cousin have a letter she needs to use?

I know if we ever get pregnant we have to use "A" after Dh's grandmom. Maybe she won't like your name!  Unless the name is really popular - people don't usually have the same taste in names (at least that I have seen).

I knew my first daughter's name was going to be Cecelia when I was 12.  If one of my sister's or close relative used that name - I would have been really, really upset.  So I get where you are coming from!

I hope she doesn't use the name, and I hope you get a chance to lay dibs really, really soon!

TotallyLoCo

Based on the FB post, I don't think they've planning to name this baby after anyone. Their first daughter is Sophie after our grandmother... which I was a little upset about at the time since I love the name Sophia, but at least at that point I wasn't married yet and didn't have babies on the brain.

I like the (Jewish) tradition of naming the baby with the same first letter as a loved one who's passed away, but it really does narrow down the list of possible names!

Banana44

TotallyLoCo:

I like the (Jewish) tradition of naming the baby with the same first letter as a loved one who's passed away, but it really does narrow down the list of possible names!

I agree with this.  My DH is Jewish and I think the tradition is beautiful - but for the life of me I cannot find a boys name that starts with "A" that I love.  Tons of girls names though. 

With my daughter, no one had passed away in my husband's family that hadn't already had a namesake, so we kind of had free reign, but Cecelia is a family name in my family and the 2 people who had that name had passed away, so it worked out nicely.  We'll see what happens if I ever get a sticky baby.

BTW - I really like the name Julia - I hope it all works out.

TotallyLoCo

Hah, I was mentally thinking of "A" names for a while; I wanted to let MIL decide who the baby would be named after, and the relative I thought she would pick had an A name. But then I asked her about this recently and she said she'd like it to be after her father Joseph. At the time, for a boy I was thinking of Andrew (Drew for short) or Ashton.  I agree there weren't a lot of boy names that I loved, but I figured if my son had that name I would love it regardless!

Now I need boy J names that aren't crazy overdone (love Jacob, for example, but I think that is one of the top names now).  Leaning toward Jack at the moment...

Of course, first I need to get knocked up.

 

Banana44

I am always looking for "A" names- but I need to keep a pregnancy before I obsess about it.

My nephew's name is Andrew (nicknamed Drew) so I wouldn't use it.  I like Ashton though - and I liked Aaron but DH does not.  No matter.

J is huge in my family - we have John, Joseph, James, Jack, and Jake! (and Jennifer)

 

ForTheLoveOf Pink

YUP it sucks. In my many years of my friends and fa mily having kids it has happened to me sooo many times. It has taken that many times that I have now learned my lesson.......I don't put it out there!!!! I have a little book and I write names it love in it. I have had it for many years...lots of names. That way I get to dream about it and nobody can "steal" my name!!!!!