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need a reality check re:daycare (long)
You guys know of my ongoing daycare issue (location), but I'll start from the beginning for those of you who are new ;-)
Since my son was 5 months old he has gone to an incredible daycare center at my husband's (now) former company. It's an awesome facility with amazing teachers, we have been extremely happy with it. The only problem is that it's at DH's old company which is about 25 miles away from our house. We live in Arlington, the daycare is out in Sterling.
DH got laid off back in October, but we kept Warner in daycare out there because we didn't want to move him until we absolutely had to. We cut back to just part-time--only 2 days a week and DH and I take turns making the awful schlep out there and back on those days.
Now DH is about to go back to work (new company in downtown DC) and I have not yet found a full time job and I'm trying to grow my freelance graphic design business in the meantime. Once DH goes back to work, obviously I'll be a SAHM on MWF with only Tues and Thurs to work, so I hate the idea of spending 2 hours (or more depending on traffic) of those days taking Warner to and from daycare.
We are on wait lists for a couple great preschools here in Arlington and they will probably have open spots for him in the fall. Until then, our only (conveniently located) options are in-home daycare centers. I've had a couple neighbors and friends (thanks, kastle!!) recommend some to me and I'm sure they are wonderful, but he won't be getting the same level of interaction and challenge as he's getting at his current daycare center. But it will only be for a short time until a spot in a preschool opens up in the fall.
So here is my dilemna: do I switch him from such an awesome environment for my own convenience?
They just switched him to his new class for 2 year olds and his teachers are so great. Here are things they do (and his other teachers have done) that we LOVE:
-we get a daily email letting us know what activities they have done that day, what books they read, songs they sang, etc. it usually includes pictures. this is great because we can talk to him in specifics about what he did that day.
-we also get the usual info sheet that most places have on what they ate, how they napped, diaper changes, etc
-he just transitioned from the toddler room to the 2s room and his old teachers gave us 2 huge binders full of pictures and info on everything he's done for the past year. One binder has all of his art projects laminated and organized by month. The other binder is divided into categories like Motor Skills, Social Skills, Creative Skills and has a page for every month of the past year saying how he did that month, specific things he liked/disliked with several pictures of him. DH and I were going through it last night and it's certainly FAR better record keeping than we've done!
Oh, and they have a freaking water park at this daycare for the kids to play in during the summer and Warner LOVED it last summer.
Part of me feels like I should just suck it up and keep taking him out there until next fall. But then the other part of me wants to smack me and remind that he's only 2 years old, it's just daycare...not law school and I need to maximize my work time. And that doesn't even take into account the cost of gas, tolls, wear and tear on the car (it's like 100 miles a day).
Oi. What would you do?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: need a reality check re:daycare (long)
I would switch. You have been incredibly dedicated and committed to your son's current daycare. They sound fantastic, but they are not the only variable in this situation. You count too. Happy mommy = happy family.
(Having written that, I think it is much easier for me to come on here and make a suggestion than actually doing it. Trust yourself first and foremost. Do what feels comfortable to you.)
It sounds like paradise. Do they take 32 year olds?
It is an interim measure, so you can stick it out either way.your little guy will have fun and learn in another environment, too. We're sticking it out at our current daycare until DS is two. Cost out what 2 hours of your time is worth salary-wise and see if that sways your decision.
I "think" i know what daycare you are talking about...I'm from the sterling area...if it were me though, I would switch, that is a LOT of driving, car maintence. and as bad as this sounds, I am sure that warner won't get THAT much better of an education at this place than one near you.....think of all those hours stuck in the car!!!
good luck with what you decide:-)
That is a tough decision! I am all about convenience, so I'm not sure I would have even lasted as long as you have with that drive. The center sounds amazing, so it will be hard to chnage, I'm sure, but I bet Warner is resilient enough to handle it.
Good luck with whatever you decide!
We were in a similar situation when we moved in Feb. I could've kept her in the old daycare near our old house from Feb-June and then I could've switched her to a preschool in our new neighborhood when she turned 2. However, it would've been a ton of extra driving for both DH and I for those 5 months. I opted to do an in-home daycare in the new neighborhood and I'm really happy with my decision. The transition went very smooth and while there may not be as much structure in the in-home, she is still well taken care of, thriving, and learning a ton. After the first week of the transition, I pretty much tell myself everyday, "I am so glad I moved her".
I can see where you are in a tough position because that daycare sounds awesome. However, all decisions like this are family decisions based on everyone's needs. I don't think you should think of it as selfishness. Afterall, you have work to do to make a living and we all have a limited amount of energy and have to figure out where to spend it. If it were me, I would think that by having 4 extra hours on Tues and Thurs would mean that I could get a ton more stuff done so that on MWF, I could spend more energy just on him rather than trying to multi-task to get other stuff done. So, that would be my rationale for making the switch. Good luck though, I know these decisions are so hard.
This is what I'm thinking, especially if it's only for a few months. Also, I know our DCP wanted us to be there for at least a year (I think it said that on our contract, barring circumstances beyond our control, yadda yadda). I'm just wondering if new DCPs will have a problem with taking him for a only a few months.
While it sounds like a fabulous place (and I think I know where it is too) - the wear and tear on the car, tolls, gas, traffic is just a lot to bear.
Recently, there was about three weeks that Ben was in limbo between daycares (he got kicked out of one, diastrous trial day at a second one, and now his current one) - we had to take time off during work to transport him from his special needs preK through LCPS to the daycare (while we had to hammer out bussing details, long story).
It was nowhere near 100 miles a day and I was stressed between the driving and then getting back to work. I couldn't imagine doing that all the time unless it was therapy related. Honestly, most likely he'll be okay - and there will be plenty of opportunities in the summer to explore new water parks.
You know, I probably should be worried about this, but Warner has always been so adaptable, it's hard to imagine he would have a problem with the change. He never has issues with new babysitters and loves meeting new people and when he transitioned classes last week, he did it with absolutely no fuss or drama (I think his toddler class teacher was more upset than he was!).
But I definitely get your point...and should make sure there is no fine print in a daycare contract about time limits.
If he is adaptable (my DD is not at all so that was my concern)- then I would switch because of the amount of driving and convenience. Also, what would you do if you all of a sudden got a great job offer?
I didn't read all the respones, but here's your reality check, and it might feel harsh: He's 2. He does not need all that fancy stuff at his daycare. (a water park is a "nice to have" not a "need to have"). Switching him now and then switching him later in the Fall is not going to break him. He will survive and so will you. Come back to earth. The in-home daycare my kids went to/go to has none of what you listed, and yet I know they're having a wonderful experience there.
Now that I've broken you down, here's where I build you back up: you are a great mom in a million ways, and doing all that ridiculous driving for the fancy aspects of that daycare is not why you are a great mom... you are a great mom because of all the intangible/non-fancy love and caring and parenting you give to your son. You are a great mom for even considering doing all that driving. You're doing a wonderful job with your son.
Now stop doing all that driving!
Another vote to switch. Consider it as good practice for preschool in fall. Last year when I moved to Vienna, I had to have a temporary homecare for a mth before my son started his daycare center in Reston. When he started in the daycare center, his transition the second time easier since he was used to change at that point. Hope that helps any.
BTW where is this daycare in Sterling? I know a coworker looking for one in the area and would love to refer her. She's due in Nov.
this is such a tough & personal decision. I'm of a similar mindset to Artslvr in that I don't really think young babies/toddlers "need" all the fancy stuff but I definitely see the flip side too.
I'd maybe tour some of the closer-in places just to see (it's also unclear to me if you've done that)? I don't think that the ones I told you about will fit the bill, but maybe some of the other recommendations. You may find some place that you feel good about and is a good compromise between all & nothing.
Good luck!
Thanks, everyone! I really appreciate the feedback. As usual, it's SO nice to be able to talk about this stuff with you guys! (and thanks for being patient and reading my long, rambly post!!)
I have visited a couple in-home providers and, separately, have explored the possibility of doing a nanny share. The in-home providers seemed fine, but they (understandably) are very different from the teachers he has currently. He is now in a more a school-like environment...I mean, he still basically plays all day, but there is a lot of structure. And that's something that is not really plausible with an in-home provider caring for infants and toddlers. And I know I need to get over that...because he is only 2 years old and it's not like this next several months will determine his whether or not he ever gets into college!