- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
khagan9368
member
SOMEONE CALLED THE COPS ON ME
khagan9368
member
For CHILD ABUSE! I moved to Stamford about a week ago. Today sitting at the deli having lunch with my daughter the cops come in and head straight for me. They say they got an anonymous tip that there was in infant in the restaurant with a black eye.
A) My kid is almost 2 - they bruise
She actually had corrective eye surgery 3 weeks ago, you should have seen her then
I don't think I have ever been this mad in my entire LIFE. Kayla's got the tiniest mark left under one eye from her surgery, she is at an age where she could have WAY worse bruises, you are gonna call the COPS!!!!!!!!!!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SOMEONE CALLED THE COPS ON ME
Loving this mommy thing!
Go Phils!!
It would be embarrassing and I understand why you would be upset but I think someone saw what looked like a black eye and were concerned. They would have no idea that she had surgery in the past. They were concerned and felt more comfortable reporting it anonymously than knocking on your shoulder and asking, "what's up with the eye?"
I think it was an honest mistake. There's so many stories of kids getting hurt and killed by adults and there's not enough people out there doing anything about it, even when they have a hunch that the kid is getting knocked around.
I'm sorry. I bet that was pretty humiliating. Your DD is adorable, BTW.
I completely agree, but I definitely would have been humiliated and shaken up. I'm sorry this happened to you and your adorable kiddo.
@Ivana- I love your daughter's little outfit! Is it a swimsuit/hat combo, or a dress/hat combo? Either way, gimme! Oh, and she's so cute, but something tells me you already know that.
That sh!t is ridiculous! I live in Westchester, BTW. I only call the cops on my drunk neighbor throwing garbage cans around the street at 3am. Klassy, I know.
:-)
That sh!t is ridiculous! I live in Westchester, BTW. I only call the cops on my drunk neighbor throwing garbage cans around the street at 3am. Klassy, I know.
:-)
I'm originally from Westchester - Larchmont to be exact, I would almost expect this nonsense from them. I guess Stamford is just as bad- sigh.
I'd have been furious, too. I think if you're going to drag a family through the police/CPS process, and possibly get that child taken and put in foster care (where terrible things can happen) while the family is investigated, you'd better have more than, "I passed a stranger's kid in public and he/she had a bruise or black eye."
DH and I have both taken DD1 out in public when she had a black eye from falling while she was an unsteady walker. It would be more than embarrassing, it would be terrifying to be put in a situation where all that stands between my child(ren) being taken away and put in foster care (where terrible things can happen) while an investigation is completed, is my word that it was an accident.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
That is a pretty crazy situation and honestly I am SHOCKED that the police showed up that quickly. I am a social worker and have had to call CPS more than a few times for suspected child abuse and even when there have been times that I *KNOW* the child was being abused it can be kind of tough to have something done about it. They "triage" the calls if that makes any sense and respond to them in order of severity. I think people often think that calling CPS means a huge investigation and the children being temporarily or permanently taken away-- that is actually not the case in most situations. Most cities CPS are hugely underfunded and that is why so much child abuse does slip through the cracks b/c the workers cant go out and thoroughly investigate every single call, especially anonymous calls from people (meaning not professionals with duty to report). There just isnt the time or the man power to do that and often times even when situations are "investigated" it isnt done very thoroughly and kids still slip through the cracks **steps off soapbox** Either way I am really surprised that they sent someone out to you-- that in my opinion is a GOOD sign that this city/county takes child abuse pretty seriously.
I'm glad that everything turned out okay and that it didnt turn into something much more complicated. While I am sure it was frustrating and embarrassing try and look at it as a positive-- hopefully this is a sign that if there ever was a real concern with your children people would respond appropriately.
That IS beyond nuts! Glad that you had a good reason tho...I live about 10 min from Stamford and have a friend here who had her kid taken away as an infant bc of something stupid like that (good home, great family, kid had a broken rib that the parents didn't know about until a chest X-ray for asthma diagnosis, and the broken bone was due to a mineral defect, not anything to do with the parents - you can imagine the horror it causes for all. Baby is back home now). I think the dept of childrens services here in CT needs to refocus their attention on the kids that ARE being abused.
Glad all ended well for you, and welcome to CT!
I'm from scarsdale, apt on the market now, looking into Norwalk/Stamford area!
Chemical Pregnancy 10/5/10
BFP 2/7/11--m/c 2/12/11
TTD pics taken by knottie jen&louie
I would be livid. Completely livid.
I guess that I can understand how some people would say "at least we know that someone is looking out for kids" but calling the police because you see a toddler in resturant that you don't know that has a black eye seems irrisponsible to me. It would be different if the parent seemed to be treating the child badly in public and the child had obvious bumps and bruises. But honestly, calling for a child with a bruise? Outrageous. How much time do these people spend calling the police on a regular basis if this warrants a call to them? Do they call the police claiming theres an abused woman at the store everytime they see a man and a woman arguing at the store? What a waste of time and energy.
Seriously? You think seeing someone in a store with a toddler with some kind of bruise without seeing any sort of abusive words/behaviors/etc warrants a call to CPS/police? Imagine if everyone called & reported that on every child. My daughter has had a black eye from when she fell & hit her cheek on her little bookshelf. She has had a huge scab/bruise on her forehead from falling on the sidewalk. My son has had an identical one. He also has a chipped front tooth since he was 12 months from falling off a little toddler chair at daycare. If strangers just saw us out eating or shopping in public, it is ok to just call the police on us? I would think the police have better things to do. That is ridiculous. I get looking out for kids but just the presence of a bruise on a toddler as evidence of potential abuse seems a bit extreme.
Haha...that explains it! I was sitting here thinking, "Er, I don't see anything...." Now I know why - there's nothing to see!
Go Phils!!
DD had a horrible black eye at around 11 mo from a fall and being an unsteady walker. DH suggested we put makeup on it because it looked so bad and he was scared someone would think we hurt her. I informed him that people don't call the police on kids with bruises, but they do call on people who are trying to cover up their kids bruises. I stand by that statement. I think this was an anomaly and most people aren't looking to call the police on strangers. Seriously, I get that they were trying to watch out for the child, but toddlers fall and have bruises. I used to do investigations for CPS and I've never gone out on a call like that. I assume its because the hotline screeners screened it out. Just an injury, without the incident being witnessed or the child reporting it, would have to be something unusual or indicative of abuse before we went out (ie belt marks, injury not matching the parents story). Though I did once have to go investigate "belt marks" that turned out to be a child who had drawn all over themself with magic marker. That was called in by an ex.
I get wanting to look out for kids, but some people are just nosybodies. I read a story on here about a bumpie that had the cops come because someone called after they saw her exit the front passenter seat of her car with her baby whom she had just nursed. She was driving around, the baby (properly restrained in the backseat) got fussy, so she pulled over and brought the baby to the front where there was more room to feed. So this lady who called the cops didn't even see the whole thing. Imagine if you get a grumpy cop, and you don't answer the questions 'right', it's your word against theirs and boom your baby is in CPS. Just terrifying. Sure I'm sure that it's rare, but it seems possible.
If the bystander saw a mother punch a toddler and give her the blackeye, than sure call the cops. But to call over a bruise is ridiculous!
I'm sorry that happened to you! I can't imagine. When I was a nanny, the family went on vacation and the mother got the 2 year old out of the pool with her swim floats still on and wrapped a towel around her. She walked off and as all 2 years old do she tripped. Well, with her arms wrapped under the towel like that she couldn't put an arm out to break her fall. She fell face first into the concrete and had two black eyes from where the blood pooled. It looked TERRIBLE. But no one called the cops.
Sorry again.