Two sets of godparents?

Firefly9

I know that in the end, DH and I can do whatever we want.  However, I'm curious if anyone else is considering two sets of godparents, or if anyone has opinions on it one way or another. 

We have two very good sets of friends we'd like to name as our son's godparents, and aren't sure how to choose between them.  Sure, we could use one set for our first baby, and the other for a second, but our thought on godparents isn't so much religious as it is who will take our children if something terrible happens.  (At this point, we are excluding family from getting our children; it isn't that we don't love our family dearly, just that my parents are getting older and would have a hard time having to take care of a kid full time, same thing with his mom/stepdad and dad/stepmom.  As for his sister and BIL, we love them, but don't want them raising our kids.)  I'd hate for our kids to get split up in a worst-case scenario.

pixiegirl131415

Godparents are not legal guardians. The only way to decide who gets your children is to make a will and name guardians.

MrsO_53

I feel like we're in the same boat.   I thought it might be easier on the couples, our kids being able to stay together, but two couples/families sharing financial and guardian responsibilities.  I feel like they could work it out amongst themselves to do what's best.  DH doesn't like this idea though, he thinks we should choose one or the other.  I don't know what we'll do.

damabo80

Whoever you name as the godparents doesn't mean that they will get custody. Rather, it's who you put in your will/trust that determines who will get custody.

I dunno, but the thought of two godparents is weird to me. Godparents (if not done for religious reasons) is done to honor a friend. Like, making them an "auntie" even if they are not biolocially related to the child.

If I was asked to be a godmother, it would take away the "specialness" aspect after I find out that there were other godmothers for the same child. It's like not having any birdesmaids, and instead having 5 maids of honor. It's just weird, IMO.

Also, keep in mind that your friends will change as you get older. How many of your BFFs from when you were in high school are you still BFFs with today? Most likely, you'll name a godparent, and in 20, 30 years, you may not hang out with them anymore.

So, yes, at the end of the day, you can do what you want. But, I wouldn't recommend having multiple godfathers/mothers for the same child.

 

Firefly9

pixiegirl131415:

Godparents are not legal guardians. The only way to decide who gets your children is to make a will and name guardians.

Right--but that's what we are calling "godparents."  We aren't really religious, so they won't officially be godparents in that sense of the word.   We will take our children to church, but baptism will be up to them when they get older. 

I'm talking more about who to make legal guardians in the case of something terrible, and who to use as role-models for our children and the way we want them to live their lives.

Firefly9

damabo80:

Whoever you name as the godparents doesn't mean that they will get custody. Rather, it's who you put in your will/trust that determines who will get custody.

I dunno, but the thought of two godparents is weird to me. Godparents (if not done for religious reasons) is done to honor a friend. Like, making them an "auntie" even if they are not biolocially related to the child.

If I was asked to be a godmother, it would take away the "specialness" aspect after I find out that there were other godmothers for the same child. It's like not having any birdesmaids, and instead having 5 maids of honor. It's just weird, IMO.

Also, keep in mind that your friends will change as you get older. How many of your BFFs from when you were in high school are you still BFFs with today? Most likely, you'll name a godparent, and in 20, 30 years, you may not hang out with them anymore.

So, yes, at the end of the day, you can do what you want. But, I wouldn't recommend having multiple godfathers/mothers for the same child.

We are pretty close with both couples--we are godparents to the son of one couple (but we don't think we need to pick them because they picked us), and DH has been very close friends with the other couple for at least 10 years.

It is a special thing, and I get what you are saying about having more than one take away the "specialness."  It's all stuff we have to consider, so that's why I thought I'd ask.

Whoever we name as godparents will wind up in the will as legal guardians; we are using the terms/duties interchangeably.  It does make things even more confusing.

Thanks for your input, ladies!

damabo80

MrsMcB926:

damabo80:

Whoever you name as the godparents doesn't mean that they will get custody. Rather, it's who you put in your will/trust that determines who will get custody.

I dunno, but the thought of two godparents is weird to me. Godparents (if not done for religious reasons) is done to honor a friend. Like, making them an "auntie" even if they are not biolocially related to the child.

If I was asked to be a godmother, it would take away the "specialness" aspect after I find out that there were other godmothers for the same child. It's like not having any birdesmaids, and instead having 5 maids of honor. It's just weird, IMO.

Also, keep in mind that your friends will change as you get older. How many of your BFFs from when you were in high school are you still BFFs with today? Most likely, you'll name a godparent, and in 20, 30 years, you may not hang out with them anymore.

So, yes, at the end of the day, you can do what you want. But, I wouldn't recommend having multiple godfathers/mothers for the same child.

We are pretty close with both couples--we are godparents to the son of one couple (but we don't think we need to pick them because they picked us), and DH has been very close friends with the other couple for at least 10 years.

It is a special thing, and I get what you are saying about having more than one take away the "specialness."  It's all stuff we have to consider, so that's why I thought I'd ask.

Whoever we name as godparents will wind up in the will as legal guardians; we are using the terms/duties interchangeably.  It does make things even more confusing.

Thanks for your input, ladies!

Well, in that case, then I would -really- recommend that you only select one couple as "godparents" (legal guardians). Would they split custody or something? I don't even know how that would work having two couples be given primary custody?

And of course, using the above (that godparents=legal guardians), then I would have the same LGs for the entire family.

If you're trying to find a way to honor both people, than make one couple godparents (godparents ONLY) and the other couple LGs (and LGs ONLY).

Firefly9

damabo80:

MrsMcB926:

damabo80:

Whoever you name as the godparents doesn't mean that they will get custody. Rather, it's who you put in your will/trust that determines who will get custody.

I dunno, but the thought of two godparents is weird to me. Godparents (if not done for religious reasons) is done to honor a friend. Like, making them an "auntie" even if they are not biolocially related to the child.

If I was asked to be a godmother, it would take away the "specialness" aspect after I find out that there were other godmothers for the same child. It's like not having any birdesmaids, and instead having 5 maids of honor. It's just weird, IMO.

Also, keep in mind that your friends will change as you get older. How many of your BFFs from when you were in high school are you still BFFs with today? Most likely, you'll name a godparent, and in 20, 30 years, you may not hang out with them anymore.

So, yes, at the end of the day, you can do what you want. But, I wouldn't recommend having multiple godfathers/mothers for the same child.

We are pretty close with both couples--we are godparents to the son of one couple (but we don't think we need to pick them because they picked us), and DH has been very close friends with the other couple for at least 10 years.

It is a special thing, and I get what you are saying about having more than one take away the "specialness."  It's all stuff we have to consider, so that's why I thought I'd ask.

Whoever we name as godparents will wind up in the will as legal guardians; we are using the terms/duties interchangeably.  It does make things even more confusing.

Thanks for your input, ladies!

Well, in that case, then I would -really- recommend that you only select one couple as "godparents" (legal guardians). Would they split custody or something? I don't even know how that would work having two couples be given primary custody?

And of course, using the above (that godparents=legal guardians), then I would have the same LGs for the entire family.

If you're trying to find a way to honor both people, than make one couple godparents (godparents ONLY) and the other couple LGs (and LGs ONLY).

That's definitely one of the reasons why even though it's a hard choice between the two, I'm asking people's opinion on having two sets.  I'd hate for our kids to be split up.

And why didn't I think of that?  Name one as godparents, the other as legal guardians?  Duh.  I'm blaming being tired and pregnant. 

rbysliprs4

We're going to have two sets of godparents, but they will NOT be the ones responsible for DD if something happens to us. We're going to ask both our siblings to be her godparents, because in our eyes, godparents are people who will look after her, love, support, etc. her entire life and both sets of people will be able to do that. 

If something were to happens to us,  I don't know if either set would be willing or in a position to care for her full-time, which is why my parents will take on that responsibility,