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Multiples
MADforever2009
member
Need personal advice pleaseee... (long)
MADforever2009
member
in Multiples
I'm at a crossroads here and I really love all the support of this board and at this point I dont know where else to go (You know how someone posted about losing your friends-yeah thats me)...
OKAY, the shortest version...
My boss has let me make my own hours and work from home and come and go as I please... it's been a blessing to have the flexibility but I only worked 40 hours in the month of Feb. He now wants me to have something more firm, PT or FT but more of a commitment from me.
INSURANCE
Im the insurance carrier (VERY IMPORTANT- cause of cooper's surgeries) its $500 a month for me and the boys and they pay $100 of it. Getting on a similar family plan for me and the boys on our own would cost about $700/month.
FINANCE
Mark is 100% commission. This year so far has been rough. He has brought in one paycheck total. We have close to depleted our savings and I've put $2k on our credit card to pay bills. He claims its picking up and April will turn around greatly. When I was FT my bring home was 2300/month. I THINK daycare FT in this area is roughly $2000/month (I could be wrong-need to do research.) I think my boss would be willing to increase my income slightly to make it a little more worth my while to come back.
PERSONAL
Im not sure I want to work. Im scared of daycare, I enjoy the boys (most days) but I enjoy being a part of this growing company, I believe its going to do well and Im in a position to really work my way up...I want more kids (possibly starting as early as the end of the year) and that would be put on hold if I went back to work, even if it was PT.
Any questions I should ask myself? How do I come about this decision? My boss wants something soon.... I feel REALLY conflicted.
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Re: Need personal advice pleaseee... (long)
My big thing these days is to have a job. I would've been able to stay at home financially, but to me, I felt much more secure knowing if DH lost his job, we wouldn't be without an income. I also felt like there were so many unlucky people out there that couldn't find jobs, so I made the decision to go back to work full time and I'm so glad I did. Also, think about any other benefits that you have that might factor in. Do you have a 401k? life insurance? anything else.
I'm not sure were you live, but we are in a LCOL area and we pay $11.50 an hour for a nanny. So 40 hours a week runs us $1840 a month. Cheaper than what you thought for daycare. This has been a God send for us. She follows our schedule to a T, we know they are safe and comfy in their own home, she does all their laundry and any other baby related chores, plus cleans the bathrooms, floors and kitchen once a week.
Obviously you are the only one that will know what is best and it is a hard decision. Good luck!
Is DH willing to become a SAHD? To me, it makes sense to leave him home (since he isnt bringing much home now anyway) and then you to go to work to a more regular schedule. Keeping your insurance etc. Can DH talk to his boss about working some hours at home?
I always find that when things seem impossible to do yourself that that is when God does his best work. Hang in there, sending prayers your way!
That's what I was going to ask.
FT Daycare is super expensive, but would it be doable to get a nanny/babysitter to watch your babies while you WAH part-time? At least you could have set hours that way and for sure keep your insurance, even if you didn't earn that much (after nanny expenses), since you said your BF will earn more soon. If he doesn't earn more in a few months I'd revisit him being a SAHD.
GL!
That was my first thought as well. It sounds like you have the more stable income, truth be told. I also agree with PP that there are other things to consider, such as retirement investments, life insurance, etc.
Honestly, the fact that you carry the health insurance is enough for me to believe that you need to keep working. Cooper will need surgeries that health insurance is instrumental in allowing you to afford. It's nothing to scoff at.
nanny might not be a bad idea. i'll have to look into it. Mark wont not work, when he's doing well he's making about 10k a month. We can't live off my income alone. Our rent and utilities are 1700 a month.
Thanks for your help! im gonna look up nannies!
I am a SAHM But I also work from home anywhere from 8-15 hrs a week. to cover our health benefits we pay our own as DH's insurance at work is terrible. I am a real estate assistant to 2 agents, they treat me like family and I am very fortunate and they have picked up the slack of me having the boys.
It is very hard some weeks to even get the 8 hrs in. I had help at the beginning SIL would come so I could go downstairs and work but she stopped coming I think she thought it was gonna be fun.
I would look into Nanny if you have to guarantee an amount of hours, because there is no way I could get anymore work than I do done if I didnt have help. Here are some things we do for me to get work done.
On days DH is off I wake up early and go down to office and act as though I am off to work.
After he gets home from work I do the same some nights and after they go to bed at 7:30 I can work for a few hours. They are terrible nappers so cant do much during the day.
Good Luck on your decision.
I think the PPs gave lots of great advice and insight. I'd also suggest posting your budget and this question on the Money Matters board. They might be able for you to find ways to cut your budget if you decide to go part-time or if childcare is insanely expensive so that you can do what you want to do.
I agree with PP that it sounds like you need to keep working and should look into a Nanny. From what you just explained, you can't SAH with them full-time.
Keep in mind you are getting married soon also- there's so many expenses with that (unless someone else is covering ALL of them), not to mention you already have some debt.
DH and I started to pay off all my credit card debt (not much- about 1800 or so, but when we got married neither of us were making any kind of money- it took a year or so to pay it off) when we were engaged so that after the first few months of our marriage we had zero. It really helped to not have that pressure on us. He was going back to get his Masters and we used his salary to pay for that and lived off mine almost exclusively. Because of all of this, he was able to get a better job, and now I can be a SAHM. If it's something you both really want (DH also wanted me to be able to SAH, or at least not work full-time), maybe you both can sit down and explore options on both sides.
Just remember, even if you can't SAH NOW, it doesn't mean that will be the case a year from now, two years from now, etc.
Also- I remember you mentioning that you wanted another baby- if that's going to happen in the next year, that's another reason you'll need that health insurance.
It sounds like his income swings a lot. good luck finding a nanny! It would put you guys ina good position to live on your income and use his variable income to pay down debt/build savings! I also second the comment to post your budget on money matters!