How do you not stress about IF?

abcteach

I will be starting IVF #3 next week. I am so nervous about this not working. I am beyond stressed and don't know how to unwind and not stress about it. I had some blood taken last week and my RE said that according to  my levels she could tell that I was stressed. We have all heard the stories about how stress isn't good and if you just relax you'll get pg. I don't want to ruin my chances of this cycle not working, but I don't know how to relax. I'm going for a massage and have thought about accupuncture. What else can I do? How do you relax? 

MBandBud

I love this question and will be interested to hear the answers.  I know for me I go in cycles.  I think for me having a come to heart (either with myself, with my DH, with a therapist, with my dog, gosh anyone who will listen) seems to get me back on track.  For me it is stepping back and saying what if this doesn't work and having a plan.  That plan might be your next step, alternative procedure (although I can see with IVF #3 that in itself might be difficult I still think you should talk with your RE about that scenerio).  The plan might be another opinion, adoption, a break, the acu, chinese meds.  Again, this really depends on you but for me having that in place is important for my sanity in the current cycle. 

 I do think I have come to realize how complex and stressful IF is.  I would definitely recommend you are getting the support you need and from many different arenas...DH is a part of that but only a part.  Some of that needs to be what you find to work.  For me it is other friends, this board, therapist, putting my energy into things that I feel more confident the outcome of, etc. 

HTH.  GL to you and know we are here and hold onto hope. 

Tryingtogetpregnant

Here's what I've done....

a) acupuncture - I'm not a firm believer in it helping with fertility, but I am a firm believer that it helps with relaxation.

b) Take a break from the boards! I know this is a stab in the heart for me and I should listen to my own words, but I think the less you let IF surround you the easier it will be.

c) Keep yourself busy - your job, volunteering, out with friends - no talking about IF allowed!, date nights, etc.

d) Keep your blinders on. This is the most challenging thing for me. I try not to think about how things are going to go or what the future holds unless it's positive. If I can't think positively about it, I just don't think about it. That's very hard for me because I'm a planner, but I find it helps to relieve my stress if I don't.

Good luck!

 

buggs

While I am not as far into treatments as you, I can understand the stress somewhat.  I recently started reading the bood " Conquering Infertility".  It is a book on how to deal with the stress of IF, coping mechanisms, etc.  One part that I really took away from the book is needing a hobby.  I used to really enjoy painting pottery when I was younger, so I decided to take it up again.  I find I can go into a zone as I am painting and can forget about everything else going on.  The time flies by.  Not that this may be the right thing for you, but you get what I mean.   I think you just need to find something you enjoy, completely for yourself and do it frequently.  This is an extremely stressful process and sometimes I think we forget to take care of ourselves. 

 Good luck!

lnle

it's hard! here's what I've tried: acupuncture, massage, yoga, therapy, Zoloft, talking with friends and husband, focusing on the things that are going well in my life, watching lots and lots of movies so I can get lost in them, and scheduling as many fun things as possible. I've found that I like massage a lot b/c it's nice to have something nurturing done to your body - we have to go through so much pain with these procedures, that having someone work on your body just for relaxation is really great. The pp's had other great ideas too. And, sadly, I agree that sometimes taking a break from the boards is good - keeps me from thinking about IF all the time. Also, I think acknowledging that it is a stressful process and that it's "ok" and understandable to be stressed - not blaming yourself for the stress - when you blame yourself then you get even more stressed. Also, deep breathing works wonders - just a few deep breaths when you're tense really gets the blood and oxygen flowing in a better way.

good luck with everything!!