How does your 2-3 year old do with crowds?

kel716

I took B to Totter's Otterville today.  He was fine in some of the areas where there aren't a lot of kids, but I could see him getting overwhelmed in the center area.  He wanted to play on the slide and in the ball pit, but when he saw how many kids were playing in it (most of them bigger too), he got shy and didn't want to play. 

I know I don't care too much for crowds either...  is he just like me or is this also normal? 

Megs&Nick

Allie used to be much like you described.  Kind of shy and reserved and would stand back and watch before heading in to play with the other kids.  She's really come out of her shell recently and now heads right in.  I think if you keep trying, he'll warm up.  It can be really overwhelming and they just need a few times to learn that they'll be okay!

gimbal

I don't know if it's common, but I do know DD is the same way (actually, much worse) and our pedi said some kids are just shy.  He said he only gets concerned if the child is more uncomfortable one-on-one than in large groups.  I gave him the example that we went to a large birthday party, and DD just wanted to hang out with me in the dining room instead of being in the same room as the other kids and all the toys.  As we were walking to the car she even said, "I not have a good time today."  The pedi wasn't at all concerned.

It's hard for me because I can see how uncomfortable she gets, but we just try to prepare her as much as possible and kind of follow her lead.  Now we say things like, "We're going to a party where there might be a lot of people and it might get kind of loud, but we're going to have a great time," and we don't give her a hard time if she wants to remove herself from the situation somewhat.  It's really helped.

gimbal

Also, I don't know if this is an issue for you guys, but DD doesn't like it when strangers try to talk to her.  This kind of makes me happy in a way, but it can also be an issue when someone at church or something is just trying to be nice and just won't let up when they can see DD move behind me.  I try my hardest to not make excuses for her, because I don't want her to think there is anything wrong with being the shy person she naturally is.  If they really won't let up I'll sometimes say, "We're really reserved," or something like that, but I try to just kind of jump in and talk for her while still giving her the opportunity to talk if she wants to.  It's kind of tricky and I haven't mastered it yet.

linzpinz14

Cecelia seems to kind-of assess the situation before she jumps right into playing.  I have noticed that when we go to places where there are lots of kids, she gravitates towards the areas where the kids are playing more quietly and aren't as rambunctious.  She also tends to just let other kids line jump for example crawling through a tunnel or going up a slide.  All of this is TOTALLY fine with me.  I'd much rather that she be the type to be a little timid then to run blindly into a crowd.  Haha.

Also, this is not the case when she is here with the kids she sees on a daily/weekly basis for childcare.  She is very vocal when it is her turn, doesn't let them take toys from her, and has definitely done her share of pushing and grabbing.  Pretty much all my kiddos are like that, which I think is a good thing. (Not that they are fighting all the time). It shows that they are comfortable with one another and working on their social/communication skills.

You may want to ask B's childcare teachers how he does with the kids in his class or even observe his interactions through the windows... I think that is where kids need to be practicing being the leader at times, follower at others, shy at times, outgoing at others, etc.  If there is an imbalance, his teachers can work on teaching him how to interact differently with the other kids.

gimbal

Apparently, this board is full of outgoing children.