Shower for 2nd baby?

Anotherbabe2011

Hi everyone,

Is it acceptable to have a shower when this is your 2nd baby? I'm not sure if this is appropriate or not so I wanted to get some thoughts. Our first baby was a boy and this is a little girl so a shower would be nice but I don't know......

 Help??

Disneygeek77

My friend and sister are  throwing me a baby luncheon of sorts.  There will be no gifts, just a chance for  close friends and family to get together, eat some good food, laugh and just have fun. 

BLM10

it's not too widely accepted to have a "normal" shower for a second baby. however, diaper showers for seconds are common here.

rickandcaitlin

I was always told if the kids are within 5 years a shower in not acceptable. BUT a luncheon or a "sprinkle" is ok.

OctoberCAPA

If they're less than 5 years apart, I would stick with a lunch or tea for family and very close friends only and not call it a shower--if they want to bring gifts, they will.  And you can have a meet the baby party afterward.

Anotherbabe2011

Thank you ladies - this is exactly what I was thinking. But I have a friend who is all excited to throw me a big shower and it just didn't feel right. I'm going to let her know its just not what I want and get a group together for lunch or something instead.

callmecrazy1

I really get irritated when people on the bump say it's not appropriate or wrong, or anything bad for that matter more than it is accepted or okay. I have NEVER heard of anyone saying it is inappropriate, other than the bump. Granted you will always have that one person who doesn't have children who makes their opinion and needless to say they are not invited in that case. LOL. If your friends and family typically celebrate with baby showers/partys, why not. If your family or a friend wants to throw you one, why not.It is a gift and a great memory!

 Now, I wouldn't be throwing myself one or ask for one.. that's for sure. LOL.

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callmecrazy1:

I really get irritated when people on the bump say it's not appropriate or wrong, or anything bad for that matter more than it is accepted or okay. I have NEVER heard of anyone saying it is inappropriate, other than the bump. Granted you will always have that one person who doesn't have children who makes their opinion and needless to say they are not invited in that case. LOL. If your friends and family typically celebrate with baby showers/partys, why not. If your family or a friend wants to throw you one, why not.It is a gift and a great memory!

 Now, I wouldn't be throwing myself one or ask for one.. that's for sure. LOL.

Well of course nobody is going to say that to your face if you are having a second shower. But if a non pregnant with second child friend asked me, I'd tell her the same thing I post here.

Heather&Ben

I co-hosted a shower for just close friends & family for a really good friend who was having a boy (her 1st is a girl).  We had a lot of fun & keep it low-key.  I think it can be fun & tactful if done on small scale.

laurakaz13

pook:

callmecrazy1:

I really get irritated when people on the bump say it's not appropriate or wrong, or anything bad for that matter more than it is accepted or okay. I have NEVER heard of anyone saying it is inappropriate, other than the bump. Granted you will always have that one person who doesn't have children who makes their opinion and needless to say they are not invited in that case. LOL. If your friends and family typically celebrate with baby showers/partys, why not. If your family or a friend wants to throw you one, why not.It is a gift and a great memory!

 Now, I wouldn't be throwing myself one or ask for one.. that's for sure. LOL.

Well of course nobody is going to say that to your face if you are having a second shower. But if a non pregnant with second child friend asked me, I'd tell her the same thing I post here.

Maybe where you live it is considered acceptable or at least in your small circle of friends.  But I can tell you that where I grew up in the Northeast not one person would ever consider it acceptable.  I now live in North Carolina and have lived in Arizona and California for work, and it was never acceptable there either. 

rhubarb123

callmecrazy1...why would you get irritated because people on the bump say it is not appropriate or wong to have a second shower?  Trust me, it is not only on the bump but in "real life"...people feel this way.  If your circle of friends and family always throw second, third, fourth and beyond showers then that is what you are used to and most people attending would most likely be used to it as well.  It is not common with my group of friends (in MI or MO) and my family would probably not even come.  My sister was thrown a surprise shower for her 2nd by a friend (her first was 6 1/2) and only 3 family members came.  Fortunately, my sister lived in a new city and went to a new church so there were still a lot of people there.  Let me tell you...the "family" talked about it for a long time.  I definitely give the side-eye if I'm invited to a shower for a 2nd time mom unless there are extenuating circumstances - many years (5+) between kids, fire destroyed everything, etc.  Different genders is not of the circumstances though. 

I do not have an issue with "sprinkles" inviting close friends/family but would prefer to go to a "meet the baby" party.

cozylittlecave

Here showers aren't usually given for 2nd kids unless there's a huge gap in ages. We also did a shower for someone's 4th- large gap in ages AND it was a surprise baby, so she'd given everything away!

Our church usually does a diaper collection or pools for a gift basket or something for 2nd kids. 

callmecrazy1

I guess I must have phrased my opinion wrong. What "irritates" me is when women on the bump tell other women that it is not okay, period. Just as you all say it must be "my circle of friends and family", anyone I know would tell you the same as would I. It must be your circle of friends or family who think it is wrong. I live in the Tampa Bay area, and have been here all of my life. Everyone I know has 2nd 3rd, 4th baby showers and so on. They also have multiple showers for weddings (such as a second wedding etc.). However, I will agree that a baby shower for a second or third only a year or so apart may be odd only because with children that close you would assume the parents kept everything, etc. Also, a lot of the "parties" and "showers" thrown around here in Tampa (and many other areas in Florida) are more laid back, bbq style, co-ed parties. I have several friends who are expecting right now and I have attended their showers, which only 2 have been "all about the presents"- you show up, play a few games, open gifts, and go home. For most of my family and friends it's more of a get together celebration, hang out and visit with people you haven't seen in a while due to busy lives, visit with family you don't get to see often or who come from other parts of the state... (not everyone brings gifts because it is not a must thing). Get my point? Where I grew up it is definitely different than what I see on here, and Tampa is by NO means a small community nor is my circle of friends and family small by any means, LOL. I have a HUGEEEEE family, as well as HUGE extended family, and have many many friends.  I guess I did exactly what I say "irritates" me by saying "there is nothing wrong with it". Instead I should have said, "where I am from there is nothing wrong with it blah blah". I get annoyed when women on the bump flat out tell other curious women that it's just wrong. because I do not believe for ONE second that more of this country believes it's wrong, than it is right. I would assume there is a mix all around.

mannasmommy

Anotherbabe2011:

Thank you ladies - this is exactly what I was thinking. But I have a friend who is all excited to throw me a big shower and it just didn't feel right. I'm going to let her know its just not what I want and get a group together for lunch or something instead.

 

Amen!

blush64

In my family and circle of friends we ALWAYS have a shower for a second baby, and third and fourth. (and so on) It is expected and enjoyed. It would be unheard of not to.(expected by the rest of the family, not the mommy-to-be)

No matter what the couple already has they can always use something and with every additional child I think the gifts are even more appreciated. Every baby is a new baby and is special and so we celebrate each one.  

 I am surprised that lots of people don't like the second shower or feel that it's wrong.  I guess we look at it more as gifts for the baby and to celebrate the baby. 

 I am from Ontario, Canada. (my family is from the East coast of Canada originally) Maybe the area you are in makes a difference.