shower on a holiday weekend

cozylittlecave

My mom is flying me to Texas for a shower the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. It was the only time we could work it with our schedules, and she's already decided on Sunday as the best day for it during my visit. However, she already knows at least one person who will be traveling that weekend (we guess others might too). 

She'd like to send a casual email letting people know ahead of time about the planned shower date- hoping those who know they're traveling will give her the heads up.  If it drastically impacts the # of people attending, she might change venues. Etiquette-wise, is that ok?? Is there any appropriate way to feel people out about availability before she sends invites (which aren't going out anytime soon)?

EastCoastBride

If she does, I think she needs to word it VERY carefully because people may take it that if they say "yes, I'm in town" that they have now committed themselves to coming, which they may not be prepared to do yet. 

It's Sunday of Memorial Day - in my friend group, that's usually the day we get together since we all have Monday off.  Even if I'm in town, I often end up having plans - but they aren't set this far out.  And w/ a weekend like Memorial Day, I don't necessarily make plans based on "first come". 

so, if she does this, I think she needs to word it so that it's clear she isn't asking for RSVP's.  She's just looking for a general idea of who will even be around that weekend. 

RoxyLynn

Sending a "save the date" for a shower is a little excessive.  If that's the only time you can make it, so be it.  Holiday weekend events are pretty tough for people to attend, but you'll have a great time with whoever can be there.

And I'm not clear on what "changing venues" would have to do with people being out of town...

EastCoastBride

RoxyLynn:

And I'm not clear on what "changing venues" would have to do with people being out of town...

I'm assuming they are looking at a venue that would be large enough for the total guest list, but if a lot of people can't come, the venue will be too big for a smaller group.  And/or it could also be a cost issue too.

cozylittlecave

EastCoastBride:

RoxyLynn:

And I'm not clear on what "changing venues" would have to do with people being out of town...

I'm assuming they are looking at a venue that would be large enough for the total guest list, but if a lot of people can't come, the venue will be too big for a smaller group.  And/or it could also be a cost issue too.

 Thanks ladies!

And yes- my mom was concerned because she'd like a more intimate setting if the number is drastically smaller. I think we'll just mention it in person as we/she sees people as more of a "oh btw she's coming to town that weekend!" Most people would/should hopefully ask about a shower & we can let them know if they ask- if anything just so they're aware. I don't expect people to necessarily choose the shower over other plans at all, but I do want to give them a 'heads up' I'm coming in town- if anything since I won't be back for quite some time. Timing is unfortunate, but it's what worked. *shrug*

stephanie_shoe

I don't think a "save the date" is excessive.  Same as a wedding-- you wouldn't try getting a head count before setting the date for that.

 Either that, or send out your invites super early (6-8 weeks ahead of time), and have the "respond by" date the beginning of May, and then you still have 4 weeks to figure out the venue if you need to change it.

Temp38995750004016

Invites to my shower were sent out around 8 weeks in advance since lots of people were traveling from out of town for the shower.

rhubarb123

I don't see a problem with save-the-date emails sent to the people she plans to invite.  She's not asking for a commitment.  Most likely those that won't be able to come will email her back stating that.  She won't get an accurate number but it might give her an idea.