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Parenting
Have you ever spent a night away from your DH?
A poster below has not in 7 years and now they're going to see how long they can keep it up. I cannot imagine this. I think I'd go mad.[Poll]
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Re: Have you ever spent a night away from your DH?
Dooode. When either I'm traveling or he is- I love having the bed to myself. I love and adore MH but I LOVE LOVE LOVE to sleep sans snoring.
I voted Yes, and I love it!
~Lisa
Mum to Owen and Lucas
That is the oddest thing to me and I actually question that relationship and totally judge it (now you can judge me).
I love my time away, went on a cruise last year without DH, going to the beach for a girls trip, and I take the kids all the time to my parents by myself for the weekend, not to mention the guys golf trips he takes and the work trips.
I just don't get it. Don't you want time away with your friends? Doesn't he? Why is it important to be your 'thing'? I am intrigued.
Of course. We've been married for 6.5 years, we were 35 and 43 when we married. We have no reason to be joined at the hip. DH travels for work and goes to FL to see his mom by himself. I have zero interest in seeing the woman.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
You can be madly in love with each other and still enjoy spending time apart, I don't get this line of thinking. I think my husband is amazing and is my best friend, I adore being with him, but we can still be apart for a night or two. Spending every night with someone and not being apart ever seems creepy and very clingy to me.
Oh I agree...totally creepy!
I love lots of people. Doesn't mean I want to be with them all the time
It reallly does seem like that teenage infatuation can' live without you can't breath without you love, just srange to me.
I said "yes but prefer not to"... he does business trips fairly often, and I've done girls' trips (and yes, in those cases i do love it) and it's no big deal, really, but given the choice, I'd prefer to spend the night with him. Generally speaking, the luxury of an empty bed doesn't really make up for the absence of my husband. It has nothing to do with needing to be joined at the hip. My day's just better with my DH by my side in the morning.
I'm not sure why that concept is so f#@$ up for people??
Word. I love MH and I loe my kids but I am still ME and it doesn't make me a horrid person to want to be alone.
I'll go out on a limb and say it's makes me a BETTER person for taking care of myself.
~Lisa
Mum to Owen and Lucas
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
Of course it doesn't make you a bad person for liking it...nor does it make us creepy for NOT liking it. Why would I give up my nightly back massage to sleep alone in an empty bed? lol
Nobody ever suggested wanting to be alone makes anyone a horrid person. This is kind of my point- who cares if someone else wants to be with their husband every night and you don't? It's not a reflection of how much you love each other! As long as what you do works for you and makes you a better partner, so be it.
I just had to google whirlyball.
I also agree it's weird to not want to ever be apart. I love DH madly, but I'm very comfortable in our relationship and don't feel this weird need to be overbearing and together all the time. That's how I was when we started dating at 16. And then I grew up and got over it. I'm more than just a wife, as I am more than just a mother. I also enjoy time away from my children. Is that weird?
Our "thing" is being a family AND individuals. That's because we secretly hate each other.
Ugh.
To each their own, but everyone needs some time apart.
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
We have whirlyball in CT. LOL
Yes, I've spent the night away from Joe. Plenty of times. HE does not like it. I'm fine with it.
If you don't make plans to be away from DH, I don't see anything wrong with that. Not how I choose to have my relationship, but whatever. I think it DOES become an issue when there comes a time that you have the opportunity to spend the night away and WON'T because you don't want to sleep apart. For example, if a bunch of girlfriends are planning a girls only trip and the ONLY reason you aren't going is because you can't spend the night away from your husband -- yes, that is creepy, juvenile and you have some attachment issues. That's not healthy, IMO. But again, on the day to day, if you don't have those opportunties and aren't making those opportunities, whatever. No big deal.
I work nights so therefore by default we spend most nights apart.
I occasionally go to the city where most of my family lives and spend the night there without dh. The kids are always with me in those instances, but that's generally the reason why we're up there spending the night in the first place (staying so they can see cousins, etc.)
I took a 10-day vacation a couple years ago without dh- again, the kids were with me, but we were visiting family. Dh didn't want to use up all of his vacation time so we went without him.
Dh used to occasionally travel for business. Once or twice a year he'll go somewhere for the weekend with his buddies. On the other hand, I admit that since being married I haven't gone anywhere with girlfriends overnight. I'll go places with the kids (usually to see family) but none of my female friends have ever expressed interest in going somewhere alone. We've done weekend trips WITH the kids, but not without.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
I had been married, divorced and a single mom before marrying DH...so nope! You can have alone time and social time with friends without staying out overnight...
I get this. Our families also live close and we can only afford 1 vacation a year so obviously we're both going to go. Neither of us travel for work. We do separate activities (I go to scrapbooking crops once every 3 months, he will go do laser tag or something) but the one time we've ever spent the night apart is when I was in the hospital with eclampsia and he was home with my child. Oh, and once in the first few weeks of parenting, I got pissed at him for not stepping up and stayed over at my moms...it was his come to jesus moment.
I've been with DH since I was 17. I've never lived alone.
I have to admit, most nights that DH is gone for work, I wish he were home. I think it is different when you are doing something fun or it isn't a constant thing.
whirlyball?
Plenty of times, but we defintely miss each other when we are apart. I'd rather sleep with DH than alone -- but I manage by myself, too.
i'm in the yes but i don't much care for it category.
last month i had a planned night away with my two besties. it was fun, and we will do it again.
but i love my get aways with my dh more. and sleeping alone makes me miss him. i'm cold, he's warm. i need my spoonin'.
guess i'm clingy like that.
hmm, none of the options apply to me. Yes, we've spent nights a part, mostly because of him traveling for work, and I'm indifferent about it. It is what it is, and I don't like it or prefer it not to happen.
I don't think it's creepy though if people prefer to spend their nights together. I don't think it's bad if people like nights alone or overnight trips with friends. Every relationship is different.
I was having dinner with good friends last night and my girlfriend mentioned that her mom and dad had not spend a night apart for the first 32 YEARS of their marriage. Since that time it has only been a weekend and a then another few days apart and they've now been married 40 years. WOW! That is crazy.
Yes, DH and I have spend nights apart. Some by choice (one of us is away on a trip with friends) and others because of work. No big deal.
Ryan 5/2010, Kyle 1/2007, Eric 3/2005
My husband is active duty military so we have spent a lot of nights apart. Even now we're living separately due to him having to move on orders and the boys and me finishing up our school year (I'm graduating from grad school in May). On top of that we have both done individual trips with friends and I often take the kids to see family and he can't get leave to join us. It's not always my favorite but sometimes I do need that time apart to be able to just relax and unwind on my schedule.
I can see how it wouldn't work for others to spend time apart but I can say without a doubt that it would never work for us to spend every single day together.
I'm a SS - Yes, we spend nights apart all the time, and I'm okay with it, but I'd prefer the nights didn't come in week-long chunks every month. DH is gone 1-2 weeks a month and was gone most of January. It sucks for the kids. If it was 1-2 nights at a time I'd probably love it.
I don't "get" the "we've never spent the night apart" thing.
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.