I'm sad today

madelyn07

Just really, really sad.

Tonight DH and I are going to have a long talk about everything...if we will cycle again, if we do cycle again when it will be and what kind of cycle we will do, all that stuff.

I know he wants to try two more IUIs this summer. I know I don't. But I also don't want to take that away from him. So, clearly, we have a lot to talk about.

But I'm still sad because I know, in my heart, that this is the beginning of the end. Even if we do the IUIs, they won't work. I know this journey is over, or very close to being over, for us and it will end without a baby.

For the past week I've really been trying to accept it and try to imagine living child-free. It is just such a strange thought. I can't believe we are actually going to lose this battle. I hate losing. I can't believe that after all we've been through, all the money we've spent and almost 3 years we still have nothing. And we will always only have nothing.

It all makes me very sick. And very, very sad.

 

07may07

((hugs)) madelyn

IF sucks.  It just plain sucks and it is not fair.  It's not fair that you and YH even have to have this conversation.  I am so sorry.  I hope that whatever decision you guys come to brings you peace and I hope that if you do decide to cycle again that you get the BFP you deserve.

Sunshine05

I'm so very sorry, Madelyn.  I know you and DH have a lot to talk through to figure out what you're comfortable moving forward with as a couple. 

I do hope that you'll see that the one time you did get pregnant was with IUI, so maybe trying that protocol again (or something similar just jacked up a notch) will bring you good results this time.  I know it's hard to see how IUI could work when IVF didn't, but it does seem like a real possibility. 

FWIW, I hope you do cycle again just b/c it makes me so sad to see a friend not get to realize their dreams.  I hope you guys do what is best for you though.  *huge hugs*

PrettyAccountant

Hi Madelyn,

I am new here but unfortunately I understand your pain. I would love to say Don't give up hope but it is very hard not to. I think about my Mom who was told she would never have a baby and ended up adopting 2 babies over the course of 13 years when she got pregnant with me. Don't think of this at losing this battle - it is a different step you are taking to get to a point. Miracles happen everyday - even if they aren't the miracle you were praying for. I wish you the best and will pray for your wishes to come true and for you to find happiness.

Love Rachel

katerena

Hugs sweetie.  I'm very very sad for you too. 

abbe19

O madelyn, I am so sorry. I would so love a BFP for you this summer. I know it seems impossible but you just never know. I hope the talk with your hubs goes well. Its just important to stick together while you figure this all out. Good luck and huge (((hugs))).

meg_koole

Madelyn, I am so sorry you are feeling that way.  I hope that your talk with your hubby goes better then you expect.  Hang in there.  Its a big thing to accept, but I have faith that maybe things will turn out better for you guys then you think!

abvernon

I am so very sorry. I hate that you guys have to come to a decision like this.

This makes me sad you are sad.

pennylanehd

My heart just aches for you...I am so sorry it has come to this for you.  You are such a kind person, and you'll be in my T&Ps in the hope that you find whatever resolution is right for you and DH that can bring both of your peace.

DeputiesWife

I am so sorry, Madelyn.

IF SUCKS!

My advice is always to hold on to hope that someday it WILL happen.  Holding on to hope may seem silly but its what has kept me going for these past 3 years.

I think that if you and DH make a decision to live child-free that you arent giving up. You are moving on, if that makes sense. You are NOT losing, should you go that route.

You both defintiely have a lot to talk about. Maybe you can meet in the middle and do one last one and see what happens. If you decide to do that one, then enjoy your months off. Your mental break. Enjoy DH and your pups. Enjoy the spring. Even though I know your DH works a lot.

Thinking of you always.

mrshoppy_1231

I'm so sorry madelyn. I totally understand how you are feeling and sympathize. Please let me know if you want to talk. I hate that you are having to make these big decisions.

((hugs))

cookie_queen

((huge hugs))

I'm so sorry this is where your journey has led. I'm so sorry you have to feel like this. I'm so sorry you and DH have to have this conversation. 

firewife9278

(((HUGS)))

I wish that this sadness never had to exist, and that decisions like yours never had to be made. It isn't at all fair, and I'm hurting for you.

LadyGolfer523

((HUGS)).  That is a big talk.  I'll be thinking about you both and hope you can come to a decision that works best for both of you.  I'm so sorry.  IF sucks so bad.

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick

((HUGS)) I am sorry that you have to go throught this. I really hope your talk goes well and you guys are able to come to an agreement that works for both of you.

vanessagorc

Huge HUGE hugs.  I hope you can arrive at a plan both of you can live with.  I'm so so sorry.

Temp590840000005378

I'm sorry dear, it's just not fair, plain and simple.  Good luck in whatever you andyour DH decide.  I want to say don't give up, but of course you need to do what's best for you! Hang in there darlin'! 

militarywife2b

(((hugs madelyn))) No one likes those talks but never give up hope don't let IF get you down. My DH and I have been trying 7 years and we both refuse to give up even though sometimes I feel like Im falling apart.

jlcrane78

I'm so sorry.  I have nothing to offer but hugs.  I can't even imagine the pain you are going through feeling like this is it.

Melicakes

I'm so sorry it has come to this for you and DH...

I wish IF didn't exist it sucks so much !

Like some pps said , I would give the two IUIs a shot, you never know what could happen, and you won't be left to wonder what if? Know what I mean?

I hope the conversation between you and DH isn't to traumatic to the two of you and I really hope you can decide on what you'd like to do that works for both of you.

I really really hope that there IS a bfp for you in your future .

 

BIG HUGS

patchen30

I'm so, so sorry ((hugs))

orange1414

((big hugs)) I wish none of us ever had to face these kinds of conversations and decisions.

spiffyliz

IF sucks and no one should have to go thru this. Big hugs to you and your DH. I hope that you have a good conversation and get to a place where you are both comfortable. 

may2806

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how you feel and I hate losing too. GL discussing your options with DH. ((HUGS))

cbubbles2

((hugs))

MSaksa

My heart breaks for you sweetie!! ((BIG HUGS)) Hope your conversation with DH goes well and you have a plan. Hoping for nothing but wonderful for you!!

labbylover03

(((huge hugs)))  I'm so sorry you're facing this.  I hope you and your DH have a good talk tonight.  I hate this for you....it's so unfair. 

Ginger71

Oh, sweetie....my heart is breaking for you. I know how it hurts. We've tried just about everything,too and we are no closer to a solution than we were 3 years ago when we started IVF.

I have always been the type of person who has gotten what she wanted from hard work and this is something that doesn't work like that. I get how "losing" is frustrating to you.

I'm still really hoping that you have succes with your next IUI.....(hugs)

scooterq

I'm so sorry you're having a sad day!  I really hope that your talk with DH goes well and that you're able to come up with a good plan that works for both of you.

dolphinsmakemesmile

Uuggghhh...I am so sorry you even have to face the possibility. Deep down this is one my biggest fears (living a child free life). Have you ever thought about talking to an IF therapist? This is a form of grief. Just a thought. Sending you huge hugs!!!

peppersnic

::::HUGS::::

hopefulmommy

I am so sorry. I think most if us have these same fears. (( hugs))

PoeticJustice

((HUGS)) madelyn

chizzle09

(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry you're going through this.

babylove0511

((HUGS)) i am so, so sorry you are going through this =(

mikeandangie

(((hugs)))

erinandbrockv

I'm sorry hon. I really hope you guys do cycle again-and that it works for you. But I also hope that you can decide on something that brings you peace.

I know you guys have a lot to talk about tonight, and that has to be scary in itself. We are all here for you.

butterfly843

Sending big hugs your way.

wewannababy

Hugs sweetie!  I'm so sorry you are sad.  Hope tomorrow is a better day and that you have a good discussion with your DH tonight!

Faith722

Big hugs!

Rachael07.07.07

(((((hugs))))))

I really don't know what to say other than I am so sorry that you are here in this position. It's not fair, it sucks and I hate that you are facing the end of the road. I wish there was something more that I could say or do. If you need anything, don't hesitate  - I'm here for you if you need me.