Kissing your kids on the mouth? Do you do it or allow it?

Tomfoolery

I ask because while I personally don't kiss my kids on the mouth, I've noticed that my IL's do and they both get cold sores (Herpes I).  I do not and have never gotten a cold sore in my life but would be very upset if my kids ended up with them in their childhood.  I'm not sure how to handle the issue with my IL's because I'm not very close to them and don't feel like I can just blurt out what's on my mind.

Andrewsgal

Why would you not kiss your kids on the mouth? I always have, maybe i am the odd one out?

firefightersgal

I kiss my DD on the mouth, but I feel a little bit weird about other people doing it.  I get cold sores, but I don't kiss anyone when I have one.  DD has yet to have one.

MrsStubbs

I do it every day. I would think it was weird if you didn't. 

Tomfoolery

Andrewsgal:

Why would you not kiss your kids on the mouth? I always have, maybe i am the odd one out?

I don't know.  I just don't, nor did my parents ever kiss me directly on the mouth.  Different strokes I suppose.  DH's parents still kiss DH and SIL and they're in their mid to late 30's.  I realize this is not unheard of.  It's just not something I've ever experienced.

Andrewsgal

My mom kisses DD on the mouth, can't remember if the ILs do but I would assume they would as DD loves giving kisses, I think it is odd not to.

joseysbride

I kiss my own kids on the mouth, but I do think it would be odd for someone else to do it to them.  I mean, I wouldn't kiss my neice on the mouth, that's for sure, so I wouldn't expect my brother to kiss my kids on the lips.

j-w

Looks like  I'm the odd one.  I do not kiss my kids on their mouths.  Cheeks, foreheads, sure.  Not sure how I would address it with others, but given the fact that I don't even do it, I  would be tempted to ask others not to.  Just not sure how I  would address it...no one in my family or DH's kisses them on their mouths.

Tomfoolery

firefightersgal:

I kiss my DD on the mouth, but I feel a little bit weird about other people doing it.  I get cold sores, but I don't kiss anyone when I have one.  DD has yet to have one.

Yea, kissing on the mouth while you have a cold sore is out of the question, but it's "asymptomatic shedding" that is the issue.  It can be passed on unintentionally before any signs of an outbreak occur.  Unfortunately.

goodheartedmommy

Maile kissed the mall Santa on the mouth this year. LOL! Surprise, Santa!

 

Ethan has a cold sore. We do not have them, but my sister does. I assume that's where he got it though I don't know that she's ever kissed his mouth. 

MrsOlson

I can't imagine not doing it but I suppose it depends on the person. The only other person I feel comfortable with kissing my dd's besides my DH is my mom. Anyone else would creep me out.

Tomfoolery

j*w*:

Looks like  I'm the odd one.  I do not kiss my kids on their mouths.  Cheeks, foreheads, sure.  Not sure how I would address it with others, but given the fact that I don't even do it, I  would be tempted to ask others not to.  Just not sure how I  would address it...no one in my family or DH's kisses them on their mouths.

Glad to know I'm not the only one.  It's a slippery slope because I don't want the IL's to feel singled out by me calling them out on kissing them on the mouth because they have Herpes.  But, when even I don't kiss them on the mouth it's just kind of a given.

emiliemadison

We kiss our kids on the mouth, and so do my ILs. But I'd raise HELL if someone kissed them on the mouth who had herpes. Even if it's not an active outbreak, WTF?

Lisa102304

I do it all the time. Always have, same with DH.

Maybe when you see them, say, before they come in for a kiss, "DC has had an awful cold lately, try to avoid kissing his/her mouth, we want to limit how many people he/she gets sick! We've been kissing his/her cheek and forehead!" Or maybe change "cold" to "barfing stomach flu" - most people avoid that like crazy.

Once you say that enough, they may get the hint?

Tomfoolery

MrsOlson:

I can't imagine not doing it but I suppose it depends on the person. The only other person I feel comfortable with kissing my dd's besides my DH is my mom. Anyone else would creep me out.

So if your FIL kissed your DC's on the mouth would that creep you out?  Because my FIL does and it just grosses me out.  Don't know how to tell him.  I've told DH that I'm not comfortable with it.  I'm assuming he hasn't asked them not to since they're still doing it.

Tomfoolery

Andrewsgal:

My mom kisses DD on the mouth, can't remember if the ILs do but I would assume they would as DD loves giving kisses, I think it is odd not to.

Here's another example of why I don't see why it's necessary:  FIL has been really sick for weeks.  Mostly likely with either the flu or some other viral process.  Why in the world would he need to kiss my kids on the mouth knowing that he is and has been sick?  Herpes aside.

Andrewsgal

Tomfoolery:

MrsOlson:

I can't imagine not doing it but I suppose it depends on the person. The only other person I feel comfortable with kissing my dd's besides my DH is my mom. Anyone else would creep me out.

So if your FIL kissed your DC's on the mouth would that creep you out?  Because my FIL does and it just grosses me out.  Don't know how to tell him.  I've told DH that I'm not comfortable with it.  I'm assuming he hasn't asked them not to since they're still doing it.

Honestly no it would not creep my out, my FIL is not some dirty old man, if DD asks for a kiss I would assume it would be on the mouth. I kiss both my niece and nephew on the mouth, I was at the hospital the day they were born, I also discipline them, they are very much close to my own.

Tomfoolery

emiliemadison:

But I'd raise HELL if someone kissed them on the mouth who had herpes. Even if it's not an active outbreak, WTF?

Precisely.  I'm just not good at raising hell.  I'd prefer it if my husband handled addressing it with his own parents.

FloF9

My DH and I kiss our kids on the mouth. 

A-baybride

I don't kiss mine on the mouth, though DD sometimes plants one on me.  The human mouth is filthy, even when you're not sick.  I don't consider myself a germaphobe at all (and do things that would gross out germaphobes like owning pets and not removing shoes inside), but I'm not going to purposely put bacteria directly into a baby's mouth.

AnnapolisLari

Of course I do.

 

summerbrideDC

absolutely I do.  

A-baybride

And BTW, my kids get plenty of kisses and affection, just not on the lips, especially as babies.  I also never put their pacis in my mouth and didn't share food with DD until she was older and had a more developed immune system since that would have done the same thing.

OP - can you send these to your ILs?

https://www.examiner.com/sf-in-san-francisco/don-t-kiss-your-baby-on-the-mouth

https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35989527/ns/health-oral_health/

 

Andrewsgal

A-baybride:

And BTW, my kids get plenty of kisses and affection, just not on the lips, especially as babies.  I also never put their pacis in my mouth and didn't share food with DD until she was older and had a more developed immune system since that would have done the same thing.

OP - can you send these to your ILs?

https://www.examiner.com/sf-in-san-francisco/don-t-kiss-your-baby-on-the-mouth

https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35989527/ns/health-oral_health/

 

Holy Hell I did all three it is amazing my kids survived. 

Tomfoolery

A-baybride:

And BTW, my kids get plenty of kisses and affection, just not on the lips, especially as babies.  I also never put their pacis in my mouth and didn't share food with DD until she was older and had a more developed immune system since that would have done the same thing.

OP - can you send these to your ILs?

https://www.examiner.com/sf-in-san-francisco/don-t-kiss-your-baby-on-the-mouth

https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35989527/ns/health-oral_health/

 

Agreed.  My kids get tons of affection and attention.  And I never ever understood why anyone would suck a baby's paci as if to "clean it off" before sticking it in the baby's mouth.  WTH?  Thanks for the links.

JOEBunny

No I don't, kissing on the lips outside of romance is not something I have really ever seen much of. 

Edit.  I forgot this.  When I was growing up a man my parents were friends with would kiss on the lips.  When I was 4 or 5, it made me uncomfortable, since no one else ever did it.  My mom told me just to turn my face once he got close.  I am still friends with the man now, and I still do it, when he "comes in for the kiss".   Works every time. 

I think this is another nest thing.  IRL, I really don't know anyone who kisses my kids on the lips. 

DandelionMom

We don't kiss on the mouth very often.  We kiss the kids all the time but not usually on the mouth.  I don't think our family members do either.  I know the one family member that gets coldsores is especially careful when kissing the kids. 

Starr57

We kiss DS on the mouth. I do get cold sores, and I don't kiss him if there's any hint of a breakout.

FWIW, I contracted it from using the same phone at work that someone else did when they had a breakout and not making out with someone.

MrsOlson

Tomfoolery:

MrsOlson:

I can't imagine not doing it but I suppose it depends on the person. The only other person I feel comfortable with kissing my dd's besides my DH is my mom. Anyone else would creep me out.

So if your FIL kissed your DC's on the mouth would that creep you out?  Because my FIL does and it just grosses me out.  Don't know how to tell him.  I've told DH that I'm not comfortable with it.  I'm assuming he hasn't asked them not to since they're still doing it.

 

It's hard for me to answer that. My FIL is not an kissy person at all. Him and my MIL don't even kiss. ( don't ask, lol)

I guess it would depend on the person. In my case, it would freak me out because he doesn't kiss anyone. Ha!

SMHWife

Yes... she always kisses me on the mouth! And vice--versa.  Not an issue in our house!

EdithBouvierBeale

I do- but no tongues.

littlemermaid

No I do not kiss my kids on the mouth, that's reserved for my husband only.   I do kiss them on the forehead and cheeks but not the mouth.  My parents kissed us on forehead, cheeks but not on mouth so maybe that's why I don't either. 

lizard76

Both DH and I kiss our son on the mouth.  I guess, all of our family members are "mouth kissers" as well.  Nobody in our family really gets cold sores, but when they do, obviously they don't kiss on the mouth.

LuvinMyKids

Yes to all of the above.

kaydark

My DH and I do it but I would be very upset and vocal about it if someone else did it, especially knowing that they get cold sores.

GingerSB

I am a cheek kisser. Always have been. But my kids kiss me on the lips so I just go with it...

*Lu-Lu*

Ummm, yeah... no mouth kissing here, either.   Mouth kissing your kids is strange to me.   My parents kissed us on foreheads and cheeks. 

Honestly, mouth kissing my kids never really even occurred to me.   It just seems so weird. 

shopgirl78

We don't generally kiss on the mouth either but they gets lots of kisses! 

Lilena

My entire family kisses on the mouth and always has so I kiss my son on the mouth and will always do it. It's how I was raised and I don't think its weird at all. It's not like like your sucking face with your family, a quick peck on the lips is fine IMO.

Kaly16

firefightersgal:

I kiss my DD on the mouth, but I feel a little bit weird about other people doing it.  I get cold sores, but I don't kiss anyone when I have one.  DD has yet to have one.

 

THIS

Temp108743750006959

It's practically a make out fest in our household and if you turn your face from DS and offer your cheek, he will forcably turn it back and lay one on your lips. oh yea, and DS WOULD use his tongue, but we draw the line there -- he is just a very open, loving little guy.

friends too, in laws too. I don't lip kiss him if I have a cold sore. Can I control others from doing the same? nope.

Also, I've kissed my best girlfriends on the lips plenty of times -- and a few of their husbands kind of jokingly.