One born ever minute...is it wrong

luckyluvr

that I wanted the "tree-hugger" couple with the extensive birth plan to have to have a c/s? Even the nurse was just done with them and their doula. There's having the experience you want and then there's being anal about it. I found them rude when the nurse told them she needed the mom to get on the bed so she could measure her, and the DH said no, they didn't want to do that. Um, hello, you should have opted for a home birth then, b/c in a hospital you pretty much should do what the professionals tell you!

Marce921

I'm an postpartum nurse and we laugh about people with birth plans. They almost always end up in a C-Section or some other thing they didn't want. It's like having a birth plan jinxes you.

joy143dh

so funny. 

A friend of mine had a birth plan with reference articles attached.  My DH thought I was evil when I bet him she would end up giving birth in the back of a taxi.

Jodi&Joe

"b/c in a hospital you pretty much should do what the professionals tell you!"

I haven't seen what you are referring to but I totally disagree with your last statement. 

ToledoDeux

luckyluvr:

that I wanted the "tree-hugger" couple with the extensive birth plan to have to have a c/s? Even the nurse was just done with them and their doula. There's having the experience you want and then there's being anal about it. I found them rude when the nurse told them she needed the mom to get on the bed so she could measure her, and the DH said no, they didn't want to do that. Um, hello, you should have opted for a home birth then, b/c in a hospital you pretty much should do what the professionals tell you!

Uh, no, you don't have to just do what the "professionals" tell you..

And wishing a c/s on someone is pretty disgusting.  Granted, I haven't seen this show that everybody will not shut up about....but c'mon.

ridesbuttons

I think trying to micromanage a birth is kind of odd.

And while I feel badly for those women who are so set on one experience and get the opposite I wish some common sense would prevail and they would roll with the punches more easily.  Some of them are devestated for months and years after the fact.  They are truly traumatized.

So, for someone who is that adament about a particular birth experience, I would expect them to have a home birth rather than fight a battle in a hospital during labour.

I wouldn't wish a c-section on anyone who was against it.

Listening to the professionals?  Yes, listen.  Do exactly what they tell you?  Not necessarily.

Kapalua

Jodi&Joe:

"b/c in a hospital you pretty much should do what the professionals tell you!"

I haven't seen what you are referring to but I totally disagree with your last statement. 

I also disagree with that statement.  I do think if you're having a hospital birth there are some things you should plan on encountering-and all those things should have been discussed with your doctor ahead of time.  But you certainly do not have to consent to any interventions that they present to you.

And yeah...I wouldn't be wishing a section on anyone.  That's mean. 

kancell724

I disagree. I think trying for the birth you want is fine.  I had a birth plan and everything went exactly how I want.  I was realistic enough to know that if there was an emergency then the plan would need to change.  I was lucky that things went well. 

 I didn't want IV's, much monitoring or any drugs.  My sister tried for the same thing but ended up with a C/S.  I think you should be respectful of professionals and I tried  to be but I still wanted things my way and worked hard to have it that way. 

CleoKitty

kancell724:

I disagree. I think trying for the birth you want is fine.  I had a birth plan and everything went exactly how I want.  I was realistic enough to know that if there was an emergency then the plan would need to change.  I was lucky that things went well. 

Exactly. Things went well for me and each labor actually went BETTER than I could have ever hoped. Is a large part of that just luck? Of course. But I also think that you can't discount the value of being educated, informed and prepared as well. For many women writing a birth plan is part of that preparation.

That being said, a part of being well informed/educated about birth is having realistic expectations and understanding what is reasonable to include in a birth plan. I haven't seen the particular show you're talking about so I can't really say for sure if they were over-the-top or not.

mom2one

Marce921:

I'm an postpartum nurse and we laugh about people with birth plans. They almost always end up in a C-Section or some other thing they didn't want. It's like having a birth plan jinxes you.

 

Wow...unprofessional much?

CleoKitty

luckyluvr:

There's having the experience you want and then there's being anal about it. I found them rude when the nurse told them she needed the mom to get on the bed so she could measure her, and the DH said no, they didn't want to do that.

And FWIW, in most normally progressing and non-complicated labors vaginal exams are really not medically necessary. If the bag of waters is already broken each vaginal exam is actually increasing your likelihood of infection. 

ToledoDeux

CleoKitty:

luckyluvr:

There's having the experience you want and then there's being anal about it. I found them rude when the nurse told them she needed the mom to get on the bed so she could measure her, and the DH said no, they didn't want to do that.

And FWIW, in most normally progressing and non-complicated labors vaginal exams are really not medically necessary. If the bag of waters is already broken each vaginal exam is actually increasing your likelihood of infection. 

It doesn't matter, Cleo.  They should DO what the nurse SAYS. lol.

Jodi&Joe

Ditto Cleo.

I declined all of my vaginal exams (pre labor) and would have if I was in labor as well.  (I had a c-section, by choice, so didn't make it to the labor part).  Perfect example of why NOT to blindly follow the professionals.  They are doing those exams for THEIR benefit (to try to time the delivery). 

CleoKitty

Marce921:

I'm an postpartum nurse and we laugh about people with birth plans. They almost always end up in a C-Section or some other thing they didn't want.

Well gee, no wonder considering the supportive nursing staff.

Jodi&Joe

And, on the flip side, my sister was in labor --- having contractions roughly every minute --- for over 12 hours.  Laying in a bed.  She didn't progress past 5cm.  The OB came in and said "Either you get an epi or we do a c-section!"  I'm so upset (for my sister) that she didn't educate herself before going in to the hospital.  She trusted the system/professionals.  What she SHOULD have done was change positions.  Get out of bed.  Walk around. Get in the water.  Get on a birthing ball.  All of those things likely would have progressed her labor.  (I learned all of this AFTER she had her children!)   

Instead, because everything is driven by time and money in the professional world, she was given the option of either having an epi (which she didn't want) or a c-section (which she didn't want).  I don't blame the professionals....they can only work with what they got and unfortunately, time is not one of those things (due to money).  But it still stinks that those were the options given to her. 

DandelionMom

Marce921:

I'm an postpartum nurse and we laugh about people with birth plans. They almost always end up in a C-Section or some other thing they didn't want. It's like having a birth plan jinxes you.

My L&D nursers were very supportive of my birth plan even though it was just a sticky note. 

goodheartedmommy

To get the natural birth you want in a hospital, you HAVE to be pushy. One intervention leads to another, even as simple as 15 minutes strapped to a hospital bed...those 15 minutes were all it took to ruin my natural birth.

I've seen Marce post on here before about her job, and I can't say I'm shocked at her lack of professionalism.

fozzy923

Jodi&Joe:

"b/c in a hospital you pretty much should do what the professionals tell you!"

I haven't seen what you are referring to but I totally disagree with your last statement. 

I agree -- DS is 17 months old and was just in the hospital with pneumonia and the ER doc wanted to give him X-Rays even though DS had two sets (which I brought) less than 12 hours before... I declined.  (even the xray technican was surprised at the doc).  The care at this hospital was so abysmal I refused all treatment after he was stable and we paid 2k to transport him to a childrens hospital 2 hours away  -- the last straw was when his IV came out and the nurse tried in two different spots to re-do -- she failed miserably and the doctor actually said 'just give the nurse on the next shift two chances'   I think a lot of hospitals/drs run tests and keep you just to get the insurance money -- not because they have your best interest in mind.

JOEBunny

I didn't see that show, but I don't understand people who go to doctors for anything, then don't follow the advice.  It does you no good to pay professional if your just going to completely disregard their advice.  Stay home and save your money.  

jayhawk25

Marce921:

I'm an postpartum nurse and we laugh about people with birth plans. They almost always end up in a C-Section or some other thing they didn't want. It's like having a birth plan jinxes you.

 

I'm so glad the nursing staff at my hospital has a totally different opinion of birth plans.  At pre-registration they ask all sorts of questions about what intervention/lack of that you desire and encourage you to give a birth plan if you have one.  Of course with the understanding that not every delivery goes as planned.

My nurse with my second delivery was awesome and so supportive of my desire for a natural birth.  It made all the difference in the world about how I felt about that experience.

Jodi&Joe

"I think a lot of hospitals/drs run tests and keep you just to get the insurance money -- not because they have your best interest in mind."

While I think this could be a cause in some situations, I think it's more likely that they run all these tests because God forbid they don't, and something is later discovered, guess what happens?  Yup, lawsuit.  You now have lung cancer that was diagnosed as pneumonia b/c they just did an xray instead of a blood draw?  Yup.  Lawsuit.

They HAVE to run all those tests -- otherwise they get sued.
Sad sad state of affairs.  And it likely will only get worse.  Everyone wants a quick buck.  But I guess that's a whole other post!

joy143dh

I'm thinking she was being lighthearted with this post and that she doesn't truely wish the mother or child to be in danger.  Just like I truely didn't WANT my friend to end up giving birth in a cab - just pointing out the irony.

DandelionMom

JOEBunny:

I didn't see that show, but I don't understand people who go to doctors for anything, then don't follow the advice.  It does you no good to pay professional if your just going to completely disregard their advice.  Stay home and save your money.  

I had a doctor tell me that I needed to eat more whole wheat.  I have celiac disease. 

Zenya

mom2one:

Marce921:

I'm an postpartum nurse and we laugh about people with birth plans. They almost always end up in a C-Section or some other thing they didn't want. It's like having a birth plan jinxes you.

 

Wow...unprofessional much?

I know.  I seriously cringe when Marce921 posts anything about her work.  I think she should have been a research RN or something where patient contact was not required.  I can only hope that half of it is just crap she posts online to get a rise out of people.

 

Zenya

DandelionMom:

Marce921:

I'm an postpartum nurse and we laugh about people with birth plans. They almost always end up in a C-Section or some other thing they didn't want. It's like having a birth plan jinxes you.

My L&D nursers were very supportive of my birth plan even though it was just a sticky note. 

No Dande they were LAUGHING at you!  That's what all RN's do!  Especially those in maternity wards.  Right?   

DandelionMom

Zenya:

DandelionMom:

Marce921:

I'm an postpartum nurse and we laugh about people with birth plans. They almost always end up in a C-Section or some other thing they didn't want. It's like having a birth plan jinxes you.

My L&D nursers were very supportive of my birth plan even though it was just a sticky note. 

No Dande they were LAUGHING at you!  That's what all RN's do!  Especially those in maternity wards.  Right?   

LOL, I'm laughing at my typo.  I used to babysit a kid who called breasts "nursers." 

veloelle

If I did exactly everything the Attending OB said at my DD's birth, she would have given me a c/s @ 4cm. Be educated and respect the medical professionals, but not blindly follow everything. The DR was pushy and wanted me out so she could get another baby out. Yes, her attitude toward birth is a huge reason I was induced w/ DS, and he was borderline IUGR. I wanted her no where near my birth.

AnnapolisLari

Eh, I was told that my OBs nurses laugh at crazy birth plans, too. I didn't think anything of it, and probably agreed with them.

The reason that they gave me for 'laughing' is that people who have 13 page birth plans and the need to totally control the situations ARE very likely to end up with c/s or other interventions. The reason? Because they are overall so uptight that they can't relax enough to let the birth process 'just happen'. They can't lose that much control of themselves.

NewNameSameGame

Yep, doctors and nurses are never, never, ever EVER wrong....ever.  They always have the one and only answer for every situation.  There is never a possiblity that you could possibly know as much as they do about your specific situation.

Pshhhhht.  I've disobeyed doc's orders several times without regret or consequences.  docs are human and may not know everything.

crazynervous

I watched the show last night and I as actually really disturbed by all the eye rolling and giggling from the nurses toward  the mom laboring. Seriously, that was very unprofessional.  I was also really irritated by how little interacation the nurses had with the pregnant women who were just waiting for an epidural!  Towards the end one of the nurses encouraged an exercise ball to one of the women, otherwise everyone just hung out in bed cringing during each contraction. I didn't see any of the nurses helping the moms breath or work through a contraction.  It was very disappointing!

cnybride2be

Marce921:

I'm an postpartum nurse and we laugh about people with birth plans. They almost always end up in a C-Section or some other thing they didn't want. It's like having a birth plan jinxes you.

i'm sure marce is some sort of nurse ratchett who snickers the whoooole time her patients were in labor.  lol.

i'm reading this as an after the fact kind of thing...considering she ended with it's like having a birth plan jinxes you. 

instead it must be more fun to take it to heart and bash marce though. 

shiloh17

AnnapolisLari:

Eh, I was told that my OBs nurses laugh at crazy birth plans, too. I didn't think anything of it, and probably agreed with them.

The reason that they gave me for 'laughing' is that people who have 13 page birth plans and the need to totally control the situations ARE very likely to end up with c/s or other interventions. The reason? Because they are overall so uptight that they can't relax enough to let the birth process 'just happen'. They can't lose that much control of themselves.

I agree! ?

ToledoDeux

cnybride2be:

Marce921:

I'm an postpartum nurse and we laugh about people with birth plans. They almost always end up in a C-Section or some other thing they didn't want. It's like having a birth plan jinxes you.

i'm sure marce is some sort of nurse ratchett who snickers the whoooole time her patients were in labor.  lol.

i'm reading this as an after the fact kind of thing...considering she ended with it's like having a birth plan jinxes you. 

instead it must be more fun to take it to heart and bash marce though. 

Uh, no one is suggesting she laughs in the faces of her patients.  But I guarantee that if this is her attitude toward birth plans, she rolls her eyes and bitches and moans at the nurses' station about her patients in natural labor.  And that's gross.

And it's Nurse Ratched, btw.

Kapalua

What show was this?  I'm interested now.  Makes me want to have a homebirth now.  My nurses were awesome with my VBAC (thank god or else it probably wouldn't have happened).  They were not so much with my first birth (a long story but obviously ended in a csection)  I feel like I got lucky the second time. 

wifetoawookie

I felt kind of bad for the nurse. She was just trying to do her job.

cnybride2be

ToledoDeux:

cnybride2be:

Marce921:

I'm an postpartum nurse and we laugh about people with birth plans. They almost always end up in a C-Section or some other thing they didn't want. It's like having a birth plan jinxes you.

i'm sure marce is some sort of nurse ratchett who snickers the whoooole time her patients were in labor.  lol.

i'm reading this as an after the fact kind of thing...considering she ended with it's like having a birth plan jinxes you. 

instead it must be more fun to take it to heart and bash marce though. 

Uh, no one is suggesting she laughs in the faces of her patients.  But I guarantee that if this is her attitude toward birth plans, she rolls her eyes and bitches and moans at the nurses' station about her patients in natural labor.  And that's gross.

And it's Nurse Ratched, btw.

that is totally gross!  an outrage really!  and thank you for the ratched correction considering that may be a new nestie nickname: marce ratched behind the back laugher of allllll pregger women (well the natural labor ones)  i guarantee all this nonsense  too (see does that make what i say more valid?)

AnnapolisLari

I am also pretty sure that the nurses were told to play it up for the cameras. It's a 'reality' show, FFS.

It's not as if nurses are the only 'unprofessional' ones. Teachers b^tch about parents in the staff room, sales people moan about their clients stupidity, lawyers complain about their clients... I don't see how it's any different

cnybride2be

AnnapolisLari:

I am also pretty sure that the nurses were told to play it up for the cameras. It's a 'reality' show, FFS.

It's not as if nurses are the only 'unprofessional' ones. Teachers b^tch about parents in the staff room, sales people moan about their clients stupidity, lawyers complain about their clients... I don't see how it's any different

it's not.  i'm like others...i  only save my critical comments for the nest  irl i'm always handing out cookies and butterflies and singing happy songs and giving big hugs too.  grrrrrr... but that marce...she really get me!!!!

buffalo_buckeye

crazynervous:

I watched the show last night and I as actually really disturbed by all the eye rolling and giggling from the nurses toward  the mom laboring. Seriously, that was very unprofessional.  I was also really irritated by how little interacation the nurses had with the pregnant women who were just waiting for an epidural!  Towards the end one of the nurses encouraged an exercise ball to one of the women, otherwise everyone just hung out in bed cringing during each contraction. I didn't see any of the nurses helping the moms breath or work through a contraction.  It was very disappointing!

Just thought I would add since I delivered there, I agree with your observation but I think that was purely for tv and I'm not sure if the eyerolls/looks were even in response to that woman...I think they might have embellished for tv. My nurse was awesome and stayed in the room with me through all my contractions and helped me on a birthing ball, rubbed my back etc. She only left after I got my epi and then came back every 1/2 hr or so. She stayed 45 min past her shift to stay through the birth and everyone I know has had an awesome experience there (my sil had 3 great experiences). I think some eyerolling goes on behind the scenes but I would guess a laboring mom making noises in labor and delivery would not be one of them.

Lisa102304

AnnapolisLari:

I am also pretty sure that the nurses were told to play it up for the cameras. It's a 'reality' show, FFS.

It's not as if nurses are the only 'unprofessional' ones. Teachers b^tch about parents in the staff room, sales people moan about their clients stupidity, lawyers complain about their clients... I don't see how it's any different

This, totally. Every single profession has said or done something "unprofessional" at some point.

It iwas a freaking REALITY show. Those things are edited and twisted all over the place. The "eye rolling" and laughing could have been shot 3 weeks earlier and not even related to a patient. The comments can be cut and put into a situation where they never took place.

As for how little time the nurses spent with the patients - the show was a HOUR long and showed three births. That is approx 15-20 min per couple. No way could they show much of the time spent with patients. The "crunchy" couple was laboring for 24+ hours - they picked the scenes that make good TV.

adri77

AnnapolisLari:

I am also pretty sure that the nurses were told to play it up for the cameras. It's a 'reality' show, FFS.

It's not as if nurses are the only 'unprofessional' ones. Teachers b^tch about parents in the staff room, sales people moan about their clients stupidity, lawyers complain about their clients... I don't see how it's any different

Yes.  This thread is getting ridic!!!!