VENT: Due Date =/= Deadline! — The Bump
Natural Birth

VENT: Due Date =/= Deadline!

I get that I'm having the first grandchild on both sides of the family, and that people are excited.

That said...  I am 6 days from my "due date", which by my own OB's admission is just a guess (due to my really irregular menstrual cycles).  Also by my own OB's admission, something like 5% of all babies are actually *born* on their due date, and many first time moms go late.  My own mom has delivered 5 kids, and 4 of us, me included, were 1-2 weeks late.

In my own uterus, the baby's not dropped, and I'm showing no signs of impending labor, save the diahrrhea I've had this entire trimester due to DH and his perverse obsession with feeding me bran  and veggies.

In other words, I'm not going to make any big plans for anytime this week, but I'm also not counting on delivering Sunday.

 So what I am wondering, is why the H*LL do I log onto the Internet this AM and find, that our entire family still has this stupid-azz countdown clock going counting down to noon on Sunday for "my nephew/grandson/etc" to be here.  UMM no.  My FB page, texts, vmail, and email box are full of references of "6 more days!" and stupid crap like that.  DH and I (due to blended families) have over a dozen siblings between us.  This ignorance is inexcusable.

I am also hearing from third parties how other relatives are planning to fly in from out of town (presumably to stay with us) for the birth as a "surprise".

I do not have an induction scheduled (a HUGE point of contention with my side of the family, but this is another post).  The baby will arrive when he's ready.  And all this pressure to birth according to someone else's selfish schedule is incredibly stressful for me.  I get that I'm hormonal, but I really feel like my family is setting me up for labor not to progress with this nonsense. This isn't the first instance of incredibly selfish/reckless behavior my family's displayed during this pregnancy, and it's getting to the point where I'm wondering if it's possible or wise to continue a relationship with any of them.

I am strongly considering shutting down the email portion of my phone and blocking the numbers of all our relatives at this point. 

Just a vent; talking to these people is like banging my head against a wall. 

Edited for crappy run on sentence.

Mom to a beautiful boy and girl!

Re: VENT: Due Date =/= Deadline!

  • Oh my.  Indifferent  And I thought my family was bad.  I shut off my Facebook wall and didn't answer phone calls.  I'm sure it came off as super biitchy but I don't care.  I didn't need all that.  I put up "http://haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com/" as my Facebook status and left it at that.
    My best friend, my husband, my everything
    Matthew Kevin
    7/31/83-7/20/11 image
    Met 1/8/00
    Engaged 4/21/06
    Married 9/29/07
    Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
    Day Three
  • image AutumnBride929:
    Oh my.  Indifferent  And I thought my family was bad.  I shut off my Facebook wall and didn't answer phone calls.  I'm sure it came off as super biitchy but I don't care.  I didn't need all that.  I put up "http://haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com/" as my Facebook status and left it at that.
    LMFAO! LOVE IT!!! Stealing it. Now is the time to be biitchy IMO. I've already alienated enough people with my incredibly selfish behaviors such as not sharing names; refusing raw eggs, caffeine and alcohol during pregnancy; getting pregnant while my sister was engaged; refusing to share whether not this is a fertility drug baby; refusing to have 20 people in the delivery room with me, etc, etc, etc. So I may as well keep piling it on.
    Mom to a beautiful boy and girl!
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  • Wow that is kinda invasive of them. My first thought was that they are kinda taking over your special day (no matter when that day turns out to be), but then I thought they are probably just really excited. My Mom and MIL are both like that. They wanna know every little detail, I mean down to if I am constipated. It was cute at first, but I'm only 17 weeks and its starting to wear on my nerves, I can't imagine how bad it is for you this far along. I try to see it from their perspective, its a new little life and one they get to be involved in. They like having something to look forward too and can't wait to meet the little one. I know its super annoying and you want your space, even email and facebook space are important. I am right there with you on not scheduling a day for the baby to come just to please family! Its completely unfair to subject the baby to medical intervention to work with their travel plans. Good for you for standing up about that.
    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/HnEbm5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>Notes:


    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tteeede.aspx[/img][/url]
  • image Danac210:
    Wow that is kinda invasive of them. My first thought was that they are kinda taking over your special day (no matter when that day turns out to be), but then I thought they are probably just really excited. My Mom and MIL are both like that. They wanna know every little detail, I mean down to if I am constipated. It was cute at first, but I'm only 17 weeks and its starting to wear on my nerves, I can't imagine how bad it is for you this far along.
    OK best advice I can give you? Don't answer ANY questions! Set your boundaries now. Just tell your mom/MIL/whomever, "Sorry, I'm not answering personal questions about my medical condition." I tried "being nice"" at first and answering people's questions, but that quickly slides downhill to "I want you to give birth this way" and "You need to stop having morning sickness". New babies can easily bring out the worst in people.
    Mom to a beautiful boy and girl!
  • Lily was born at 43 week.  Needless to say, I had to go underground for the last week and a half of my pregnancy.  

    I will say that I enjoyed the first week of being "overdue."  My favorite part was when folks would ask when I was due and I got to say, "Last week!"  :)    After the first week, people did start to get a bit nasty and that is when I stopped telling people my EDD.   


    Lilypie - (ZESJ)Lilypie - (QAi1)

  • Oh, I forgot to mention my voicemail greeting.

    "Nope, I haven't had the baby yet!" ::beep::

    My best friend, my husband, my everything
    Matthew Kevin
    7/31/83-7/20/11 image
    Met 1/8/00
    Engaged 4/21/06
    Married 9/29/07
    Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
    Day Three
  • image AutumnBride929:

    Oh, I forgot to mention my voicemail greeting.

    "Nope, I haven't had the baby yet!" ::beep::

     

    OMG, hilarious!  I may steal that one too. 

     

    Then, I might cut my hair like yours...  Devil

    Mom to a beautiful boy and girl!
  • image pinksweetpea2:

    Lily was born at 43 week.  Needless to say, I had to go underground for the last week and a half of my pregnancy.  

    I will say that I enjoyed the first week of being "overdue."  My favorite part was when folks would ask when I was due and I got to say, "Last week!"  :)    After the first week, people did start to get a bit nasty and that is when I stopped telling people my EDD.   

    This is what I don't get either.  I know that many OB practices don't let you go past week 40 or week 41 without an induction. My OB's practice usually won't schedule an induction till week 42, which is fine by me.

    First time babies are usually late if I'm to take the word of my highly regarded, board certified OB.  Which I am inclined to take that over the word of my stepmom's church secretary's hairdresser or some random person like that. 


    Mom to a beautiful boy and girl!
  • image PiscesFish:
    image Danac210:
    Wow that is kinda invasive of them. My first thought was that they are kinda taking over your special day (no matter when that day turns out to be), but then I thought they are probably just really excited. My Mom and MIL are both like that. They wanna know every little detail, I mean down to if I am constipated. It was cute at first, but I'm only 17 weeks and its starting to wear on my nerves, I can't imagine how bad it is for you this far along.
    OK best advice I can give you? Don't answer ANY questions! Set your boundaries now. Just tell your mom/MIL/whomever, "Sorry, I'm not answering personal questions about my medical condition." I tried "being nice"" at first and answering people's questions, but that quickly slides downhill to "I want you to give birth this way" and "You need to stop having morning sickness". New babies can easily bring out the worst in people.

     

    Thank you! I am getting to that point, like I'm not telling them that no one but my husband will be there for the delivery and I'm refusing to answer stupid questions about my planned homebirth. Good luck to you too!

    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/HnEbm5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>Notes:


    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tteeede.aspx[/img][/url]
  • Sheesh! If people are buying plane tickets and planning their schedules around the assumption that baby is going to come ON his due date (or that you'll get induced), then it serves them right. Let them get disappointed! Honestly if my family was being that ridiculous, I would secretly hope that the baby would wait as long as possible to come, just to make them angry.
    BabyFetus Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    image
  • Red - I am honestly wondering if the hope is that being *there* means that they can bully/pressure me and the doc into an induction. 

    While nobody will provide a reason as to why they feel I should be induced (besides the fact that I was "playing God" and "being arrogant" when I refused to schedule one at 30 weeks) my parents'/stepparents' generation of the family are all SO angry with me for not getting one.

    Mom to a beautiful boy and girl!
  • image PiscesFish:

    Red - I am honestly wondering if the hope is that being *there* means that they can bully/pressure me and the doc into an induction. 

    While nobody will provide a reason as to why they feel I should be induced (besides the fact that I was "playing God" and "being arrogant" when I refused to schedule one at 30 weeks) my parents'/stepparents' generation of the family are all SO angry with me for not getting one.

    This is some of the most backwards logic I have ever heard. NOT planning an induction is "playing God"?? Alrighty then.

    image
    Our sweet girl is 3!


    Lilypie - (R7Ux)


  • LOL. go underground. DEEP underground... and maybe come out once the baby's here, IFyou feel like it! cause your family is crazy :)
    5.18.11 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker EDD 3.12.13
  • Sorry your family is being such a PITA.

    I worked up to 41 weeks (I was induced at 42wks). I also loved when people would ask when I was due and I would say "last week"

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image PiscesFish:
    image AutumnBride929:

    Oh, I forgot to mention my voicemail greeting.

    "Nope, I haven't had the baby yet!" ::beep::

     

    OMG, hilarious!  I may steal that one too. 

     

    Hehehe... yeah, the receptionist at my OB's office got a kick out of that. Stick out tongue 

    My best friend, my husband, my everything
    Matthew Kevin
    7/31/83-7/20/11 image
    Met 1/8/00
    Engaged 4/21/06
    Married 9/29/07
    Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
    Day Three
  • image SarahL77:
    image PiscesFish:

    Red - I am honestly wondering if the hope is that being *there* means that they can bully/pressure me and the doc into an induction. 

    While nobody will provide a reason as to why they feel I should be induced (besides the fact that I was "playing God" and "being arrogant" when I refused to schedule one at 30 weeks) my parents'/stepparents' generation of the family are all SO angry with me for not getting one.

    This is some of the most backwards logic I have ever heard. NOT planning an induction is "playing God"?? Alrighty then.

    No kidding... totally backwards! Indifferent

  • As Bill Clinton said, "I feel your pain" (biting lip and giving thumbs up). 

    A dear elderly friend of mine had told me months ago to tell people I was due "around Valentine's Day" (versus my ODD of January 27th).  Me being a first-time mom, I was so excited about being pregnant that I totally ignored this.  I kept thinking I'd be early or right on time.  Now, I kind of regret that I did not listen to her Tongue Tied

    It's so hard, because part of me strives to be diplomatic and grateful that people care so much to call/make Facebook posts.  Then the other part of me feels frustrated because a) I feel like they are just up in my business, and b) I just don't know how many more times I can say, "Thanks for thinking of us: you'll get the good news when the time comes!" with a smile on my face.

    Not to mention that all of us are REALLY pregnant at this point!  I have to stand on my tip-toes to wash the dishes, because my belly gets squished by the edge of the sink otherwise!

    Good luck and best wishes, Fellow Mamas Smile

     

    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tte6d78.aspx[/img][/url]


    <img src*="http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47a1cf37b3127ccefef581cb5a7200000040O00AbuG7do2ct2YPbz4Y/cC/f%3D0/ps%3D50/r%3D0/rx%3D550/ry%3D400/" width="180px">
  • image SarahL77:
    image PiscesFish:

    Red - I am honestly wondering if the hope is that being *there* means that they can bully/pressure me and the doc into an induction. 

    While nobody will provide a reason as to why they feel I should be induced (besides the fact that I was "playing God" and "being arrogant" when I refused to schedule one at 30 weeks) my parents'/stepparents' generation of the family are all SO angry with me for not getting one.

    This is some of the most backwards logic I have ever heard. NOT planning an induction is "playing God"?? Alrighty then.

    Eyeroll. Yes. I'm not following the logic either, which is understandable considering nobody is providing any further explanation, but IMO the real issue is that I got pregnant despite having PCOS. I was on Metformin to regulate my blood sugar, which my family considers a fertility drug, which is against their religious beliefs. Since I refuse to "justify" or apologize" for my son's existence, DH and I decided not to waste our time arguing with self-righteous Bible thumping a-holes, or answering questions about whether or not we had a more aggressive course of fertility treatments. This is ironic, because this baby is a surprise (best one we've ever had, but still, not planned) and I don't recall ovulating the month we conceived! Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Next time, I'm telling people my EDD is a whole freaking month late!
    Mom to a beautiful boy and girl!
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