Different Religions

Enami

Hi, this is my first post here, since we weren't planning on trying for children for at least five years. But we have one on the way, and now everything is turned upside down. My FI and I haven't even gone to any pre-marital counseling yet, since our wedding isn't until next summer, so discussing how to raise children hasn't really been talked about. Everything's on the fast track now, AHHH!!!

 

What I really wanted was to know how any of you are raising children in a household where the parents are two very different religions. My FI is Christian and I'm Pagan. So any advice or stories from anyone would be awesome. Thanks!

JOEBunny

Please define your "Pagan".  How active are you and what do you do?  It has a lot of different connotations. 

gracendantho26

I honestly don't see how that combo could function..if you are both practicing that is..

jettagurl

Yes, please elaborate.  

DH and I are both Baptist, but there should be no reason you can't both teach your child your beliefs then allow your child to decide what to follow.  Compromise.  

Alternate Sundays, prayer with dad at bedtime/not at dinner, etc.  There are many, many families that have multiple religions practiced in one house.....just respect each other.

 

DevonPow

Well, DH is an Atheist and I am an Agnostic...so I guess that constitutes different religions WE both agree that we will expose DS to all types of religion - Judaism , Christianity, Muslim, etc. He can make up his own mind.

I have several friends raising kids with one parent Jewish and one Christian in some form. Most of them just do everything jointly - taking them to Temple some days and Church other days. Celebrating Christmas and Channukah, etc etc. When the kids are older if they decided to embrace one religion more than the other, than that is what they will do.  One friend's  family the parent who is Jewish feels more strongly about it than the other parent so they are raising the kids Jewish, even though the other parent practices a different religion.

There are a myriad of ways to do it.

EdithBouvierBeale

we just dedicate most of our sacrificial offerings to jesus.

problem solved!

gracendantho26

Hmmm based on your other posts it seems this is not the front runner for concern.

 

Enami

JOEBunny:

Please define your "Pagan".  How active are you and what do you do?  It has a lot of different connotations. 

 

Thank you for picking up on that! I'm a Celtic Reconstructionist focused mostly on Ireland. I'm currently practicing, but not really active in the local Pagan community, seeing as it is mostly Wiccan and New Age, neither of which really mesh well with my beliefs. I've been president of our college's student Pagan association, and a practicing CR for 4 years, after converting from eclectic Wicca. My practices focus on honoring and venerating the Gods and Ancestors, hedgecraft and shamanesque practices, and reverence for nature. I'm currently working on completing the DP of ADF.

gracendantho26

How about your FI's involvement with the Christian community? What are his feelings about this?

edited to switch BF to FI

Enami

gracendantho26:

Hmmm based on your other posts it seems this is not the front runner for concern.

 

 

Nope, it really isn't. I was just wondering how other people did it.

RoxyLynn

Having grown up in an interfaith household myself - pick one.  You can teach respect for other faiths, but in terms of truly believing you can't expect the poor kid to embrace contradictory statements as equally true (like "there is one God" and "there are many gods.").

Enami

Well, he's saved. He doesn''t go to Church, or read the Bible, but he says he feels very strongly about having a relationship with Jesus. He led a Bible-study group in high school, but hasn't been involved in any groups since. He says he hopes I'll convert, but he knows that its not up to him, its up to his God to save me. He's interested in learning about my beliefs. So I would call him a hands-off Christian. I guess I'm just used to my friends and family, who spend 3-4 days a week either in Bible-study or church/Mass.

mlkrstthrnr

I am Methodist and my husband is Catholic. We both believe in having a strong relationship with God, so that part is in agreement. However, going to church together is a priority for me because I grew up in a family that didn't all go to church together. Therefore, I go to Catholic Mass with him and we'll baptize baby Catholic. We both are more than fine with having the baby attend non-Catholic Christian functions (like camps, Bible studies) through other churches if s/he chooses. My top priority is that s/he love God. I guess considering your differences in underlying beliefs, I would sort that out before the wedding because if neither is willing to change it could cause big conflict down the road. As PP said, I would pick something and go with it for the baby's sake - less confusion. However, that sounds somewhat hypocritical of me because we'll openly tell the baby that I am not Catholic. Sorry to not be of huge help. If your fiance doesn't go to church at all or pursue a relationship with God, your child would probably won't question it too much.

gracendantho26

Sorry to not be of huge help. If your fiance doesn't go to church at all or pursue a relationship with God, your child would probably won't question it too much.

Ditto! And I am interested in you saying it's up to God to save you. What would that "look like" to you?

Enami

gracendantho26:

Ditto! And I am interested in you saying it's up to God to save you. What would that "look like" to you?

 

I don't believe in being saved, because I don't believe in original sin or the need to be saved from our baser selves. He feels that it is up to God to save me, since he believes in getting saved. I have no idea what that would look like to me. What did it look like for the Biblical Paul, when he got struck off his horse? I mean, he was probably some sort of polytheist or Mithraist (Mithraism was huge in Rome around 100 CE and really shaped the early Christian church), and to be contacted by a Middle Eastern God would be confusing and terrifying. He and I both believe in the power of personal conviction, and we are both quite strong in what we believe, even if he isn't as active as I am.