bump break

pennynjon

I am leaving the bump, for awhile anyway. I have been and am in a bad place the last month.  I really think for my my emotional well being I need to take a break from the board.  I will miss so many of you ladies that I have met through this board.  I want to thank you for your support the last 8 and a half months.

I have to say something before I leave.  I was really shocked and bothered by some of the responses I read to the previous post today about terminating with a fatal diagnosis/disability.  I didn't respond to the OP because I was so shook up when I first read it- by the responses of others. And if the OP reads this, this is not directed at you.  I would never judge anyone who is forced to decide whether or not to terminate with a fatal diagnosis.  But it always seems okay for others to judge those who do carry to term. I wish that no one ever ever had to make that decision EVER.  I am just shocked by some of the comments made by people who have never experienced it personally.  I can say, that for me, I always knew and do know that I made the right decision for my daughter and myself.  I am very upset that people would say that is was "selfish"  to carry to term, that the baby would "suffer" if you carry to term.  I know that Ella was content and I do not believe that she suffered any while I was carrying her.   This is such a personal thing, and I just don't think that anyone who hasn't experienced it should tell someone what "the right thing to do is."

I wish you all the best and I hope that you get your take home babies soon.

hopefulelise

You will be missed Penny. 

CashewsMommy

Oh hun (((hugs)))

I must have missed the post earlier. But I just wanted to give you a (((hugs))) I hate that you had to make that decision and I do not think that it was selfish of you in any way.

I'm going to miss you tons with your break. I hope it gives you the peace and mind that you need.

emeraudecephiro

I'll miss you, Penny

opallover

I am so sorry you are leaving. You will be so missed. (((hugs)))

tigers413

big hugs to you! I will miss you!

kelliandjustin

I hope your bump break is everything you need! 

SheriBT

Please take care.  We'll miss you  ((hugs)).

psumel13

So sorry you feel you need a break! Just know that when you are ready, we will be here for you! BIG HUGS!!!!

cutebride73

(((hugs)))  I am so sorry that you feel that you have to leave right now.  I hope this break gives you what you need in your journey. 

I can't believe that people would ever judge the choice you made, or others in similar circumstances.  That is so cruel.  My heart breaks for what you went through. 

You'll be missed.  (((hugs)))   

Izabella22

I'm sorry to see you go Penny but I hope it helps *HUGS* We're here for you if/when you're ready to come back!

kathymarie

SIGGY WARNING

 

 

 

 

 

 

Penny, please don't think that you are judged in any negative way; you are not.  You made your decision out of love, same as those that choose differently. Those of us that have not walked that path can only speculate as to what we'd do, but even then we have no freakin' clue as to what that situation is like.

No one should ever have to go through what you did. You are so strong. Know that we're all here when you want to post again. 

((HUGS))

sgrobste

Take care, and I hope you find a better place soon ((HUGS))

damabo80

Huge hugs, Penny.

Just know that none of these girls would ever judge either your decision or my decision (or they know they'd be flamed to high heaven ). Rather, I think the responses to that post were more of the "don't feel guilty, you made the right choice for your family" pats on the back, just as we know that you made the right choice for yourself, Jon, and most importantly, Ella.

I fully understand the need for a bump break, and hope you can find more peace during it. You will never be judged here...rather, always loved. Please remember that. Hugs.

ala_1220

You will be missed.  I hope this time off gives you the peace and strength you and your DH need and deserve.

Thank you for making that tough decision.  I can only imagine how hard it was to carry your precious angel knowing her fate.  You gave her the best life and one day you will see her again. 

One of my first patients as a new nurse was a anencephalic baby girl.  (Her parents were from Mexico and didn't know of her condition until they came to the US).  She was beautiful.  I was the one to take the breathing tube out of her.  It was one of the saddest and amazing things ever.  She was at such peace.  She was not in pain...she was peaceful and her parents held her until she died.  They sent me a card later thanking me for that experience.  That is one experience I will never forget.

millejj1

I'm so sorry that you were overwhelmed. I hope that you come back soon. I'll miss you! Big huge hugs.

Carolee

We will miss you so much, Penny.  I am so sorry you were hurt by some of the responses.  I hope that your break is healing, and I hope that you decide to come back some day.  (((Hugs)))

myaddiwaddi06

I can not say that I understand the decision you had to make. All I can say is you are so brave and so strong. I can not imagine being in that situation so I can not come close to knowing what I would do. I am sorry that you need a break. I wish you nothing but the best. Keep your head up. (Big hugs)

FmrAFBrat

So sorry to hear that.  I hope you feel better soon. ((HUGS))

CheesyPeas

You'll be missed but I hope your bump break will help bring you to a better place.  Take care, Penny.  ((HUGS))

Tapatio

I'm so sorry You will be missed on this board. ((huge hugs))

shoefreak85

I will miss you!!  Come back soon!

sarahandadam1029

Best of luck, and I hope you can find a better place and be happy.

Thank you for speaking up and voicing your feelings. You did a great job expressing them sensitively, and I appreciate that.

Rawr08

You will be missed.  I hope your break is well, and you get to feeling better.  If you need to talk, PM me.  *hugs*

tew213

((BIG HUGS)) I am sorry. You will be missed!

christyjolee

You will be missed. I hope the break gives you what you need. 

I can't imagine anyone judging you. Sorry you were hurt by that post in any way.

((hugs)) 

itsmegin

OMG my heart is breaking right now. I am so sorry you are leaving and I sincerely hope you did not take what I said to mean that you were wrong for carrying to term. I think each situation is different, which is why I don't judge any mother's choice, either way. I think you are equally brave and strong to choose to go through with the pregnancy and give your daughter a chance to live. I am so deeply sorry if I offended or hurt you, it was not my intent. I hope you read this.

 

LifeInANutshell

You will be missed -- I hope peace finds you soon.

clauseka

So sorry to hear that. I hope you find what you need during your break.  Take care of you.

stephsteph77

I'm very sorry that the words that were meant to comfort me caused you any pain. In all honesty I was surprised by the level of support I received. I was expecting to be told I was a horrible person for not carrying to term, because that's how I feel about myself sometimes. I copied and pasted some of the things people wrote into my phone to look back on when I'm feeling really low. I think you are an incredibly brave woman for choosing to carry to term with a fatal diagnosis, and I don't think people in any way meant to judge those that do not terminate. Let's face it, it's a shittty thing to go through no matter what, and that's putting it mildly. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful little girl, and I hope your bump break gives you the peace you need.

rock-elle

::hugs:: hon , take all the time you need, we'll be here whenever you are ready.

julesjb

You will be missed... ((hugs))

WI-mommy-hopeful

((HUGE HUGS)) Take care!

jinx75

We miss you already!!!  I hope your break gives you comfort and peace!! Come back soon please!

jen629

Penny I am so sorry ......I am hear to lend an ear if you wanted to talk about it..I didnt read the original post  and I am sorry you are hurting many hugs sweetie....

stillbaking

Penny, I'm so, so sorry that you've been hurt by what's been written on the bump. And I'm so, so sorry that you feel like you need to step away. I hope you know no one judges the decision you made. I think you're amazing and strong and Ella is so beautiful. I'm glad you had the chance to meet her. ((((BIG HUGS))))

tiffanysbride

You will be missed, you've always had words of encouragement for me from my first posts on the loss board. I want to thank you for that.  I hope that a break gives you what you need. I know for me it was really helpful to take a bit of time away. Clearly I still lurk and post occasionally.

Honestly I cannot imagine being put in your situation, but I can tell you that I am not sure I would not have done the same as you. I have said many times I would have had Nicholas w/o hesitation even had I known the outcome. I know the situation is completely different but I respect and admire what you choose to do for your little girl.

HappyLaLa0914

Big {{hugs}} Penny.  We'll miss you.

KaitySueWho

((hugs))

Take some time for yourself. We will be here for you when you are ready to come back.

mizdiz444

(((Hugs)))  You will be missed.

Pixiestx

(coming out of lurking) I'm sorry you were hurt by those reponses. I don't think they were meant in any way to judge what you chose. They were directed at someone who needed to hear some comforting words. Everyone's situation is different and everyone can believe something different.  You have to understand though that as someone who terminated b/c of a fatal diagnosis, I wouldn't have done it if I didn't believe it was in the best interest of my child.  If I didn't see it that way, I couldn't have done it.  That doesn't mean that you didn't make that same decision, you did what your heart told you to do and that is the best decision.