f/u to last night's drink post — The Bump
Snarky and T-TTC

f/u to last night's drink post

i'm getting a divorce.  it's been a long time coming, and i know it's the right thing but that doesn't make it any easier.  this fuucking sucks.

i just fought so hard to make this marriage work and i failed miserably.  at least the last 8 years weren't a total waste - i got B&N out of it.

love you, ladies.

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Re: f/u to last night's drink post

  • You did not fail!!  Marriage is a 2 way street and your husband should take most of the blame.  We love you!!!! ((HUGS))
  • I'm so sorry :(    (((hugs)))
    image image image
    Expectation is the root of all heartache ~William Shakespeare

    TTC since 1/08-- 2 IVF's (11/09 and 4/10)- total of 10 fert but no embryos for transfer :(

    Forced break after abdominal myomectomy

    Spring 2011 - IVF #3 - nothing for transfer

    Fall/Winter 2011 - IVF #4 - one lost twin between 7-9 weeks
    one beautiful little girl born 8/2012
  • You are not a failure. You cannot fix something like this on your own and he doesn't want to try. You're doing the right thing in taking care of B&N and yourself. We all support you and have your back. ((hugs))
  • I'm really sorry ((HUGS))

    I agree with the ladies you definitely didn't fail. Marriage involves two people committed to making things work.  We are here for you.


    After 22 cycles and tube removal our IVF miracle has arrived! Detailed IF and IVF info in bio.

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  • I love you and we're all here for you xoxoxox
  • image Serendipitie:
    I love you and we're all here for you xoxoxox


    After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!

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  • I'm so sorry. Ditto everyone else, you are NOT a failure. ((Hugs))
    someecardscom - Im well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today
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  • Oh Susan, I'm so sorry!!  You DID NOT fail.  Like pp said, marriage is a two way street.  And from what you had said, your H did not make things easy.  I hope things go smoothly and as uncomplicated as possible throughout all of this.  We are here for you!!  ((BIG HUGS))
    TTC #1 Dx: severe MFI
    IVF with ICSI #1: BFP
    TESE for DH 08/09/09
    ER 08/09/09; ET 08/14/09; Beta #1 08/23/09: 150; Beta #2 08/25/09: 267
    TTC #2: FET #1: BFP
    ET 06/16/11; Beta #1 06/25/11: 282; Beta #2 06/27/11: 777
    First u/s: Twins! Baby A stopped growing @ 9 weeks, forever in our hearts
    TTC #3: FET #2: c/p lost at 4 weeks
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  • Thanks to all my bitches.  I'm glad you're here.

    Sooooo i have MH's plane ticket to Mexico that he's obviously not going to use now.  Who wants to go to Cancun for 5 days in June? 

    Either that or I'll start taking bids on me using the ticket to make a visit to your town.  :)



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  • I'm so sorry Susan. (((hugs)))
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  • I'm sorry Susan.  We love you and are here for you!  {{{Hugs}}}
    I Can't Resist Those Chubby Cheeks


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    Dx with endo & blocked left tube - TTC #1 for 29 cycles before miracle BFP, #2 - Surprise!!
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  • ((HUGS))

    I'm very sorry. 

  • I'm so sorry.  (((hugs))) We are all here for you. 
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    TTC #2, Operative hysteroscopy March 2011; IVF #1 long lupron protocol April 2011-cancelled due to poor response; IVF #2 flare protocol May 2011=hospitalization due to abdominal hemorrhage during ER and no fert due to MFI issues. Moving onto international adoption from Moldova January 2013!
  • I'm sorry, Susan. You should never think you are a failure. (((HUGS)))

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    TTC since Jan 2007 with MFI and crappy left tube
    IUI#1 (10/09)=ectopic
    Natural (03/10)=ectopic
    IUI#2 (08/10)=ectopic

    IVF#1 (10/11)=BFN
    (4 frozen embryos)

    Natural (01/12)=ectopic
    Emergency lap and left tube removal.Dx with Stage III endo.
    Natural (08/12)=M/C of twins at 8 wks with d&c
    Waiting for FET
  • I'm so sorry you have to go through this but I wish you nothing but the best.



    TTC since 2008

    8 IUIs of varying med combos: all BFNs

    IVF #1 w/ICSI (Long Lupron): 5R, 2M, 1F

    3dt of 1 = BFFN

    IVF #2 w/ICSI (Antagonist): 10R, 8M, 4F

    3dt of 2 = BFMFN

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    IVF #3 (Antagonist): started stims 12/15

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  • (((hugs))) I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this heartache, but you did not fail at anything. We're here for you.
  • late on this, but ((((hugs))))
    Baby Boy O born 4/5/2010, 7lbs 14oz, 20", at 38w by c-section due to pre-e & failed induction
  • Your marriage may be a failure, but you most certainly are not. You did your best.

    Take care of yourself and the babes.

  • I'm really sorry Susan.  I hope life treats you a gazillion times better from here on out.  Take care of yourself.
    11/10: IUI #1 =100mg Clomid CD4-8 + pregnyl trigger + IUI = chemical pregnancy
    1/11: IUI #2 = 5mg Femara + trigger + IUI = BFN
    2/11: IUI #3 = injectibles + trigger + IUI = BFN
    IVF #1 April 2011 ER 4/23 w/16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 11 fert., 4 blasts to freeze, 5dt of 2 blasts on 4/28, beta #1 5/7 = 243... beta #2 5/9 = 491....beta #3 5/11 = 1113!!
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  • I'm sorry,  it takes 2 to make a marriage work,  you're not a failure. 


    (o) (o) and xoxoxoxo

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  • I vote you use his ticket to come see me!!!!!! You can see Staycee and Buena and Kim while you're here too. I would totally go to Cancun, but my husband might have an issue with it
  • I am super late on this, but please don't ever think you are a failure.  Your marriage may have failed, but YOU are not.  And you're right about B&N - they are lucky babies to have you as their mommy!

    I can't remember - where do you live?  You could always escape and come visit the lovely Northeast - there's a good number of us up here and I'm sure Ryan would love to play with your LO's!  ;-)

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    Severe MFI - on to IVF w/ ICSI

    IVF#1-2: BFN
    IVF#3: BFP! - 1/24: ET - 5d - 2 blasts - 2/02: Beta #1: 16.2 ...... 2/04: Beta #2: 35 ...... 2/09: Beta #3: 401.5 - I'm pregnant! - 2/13: u/s #1 - baby boy, due 10/12, born 10/16! ...... 8 lbs 0 oz, 22 inches! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • ((BIG HUGS)) I'm so sorry susan. But like everyone said, its a two way street and he wasn't willing to put in the effort. Take care of yourself and B&N.
    2.5 yrs TTC #1 - DX = Stage IV Endo, Lap performed Jan 2010
    TTC #1 - May 2010 - IUI #3: BFP 
    TTC #2 - May 2012 -IUI #2: BFP
    TTC #3 - Jan 2013 -Surprise BFP!
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  • {{hugs}} you're doing what's best for you, B and N. You will survive this. You are not a failure. We love you!

     and, I'll come to Mexico with you!

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  • It's not easy Susan to admit that your marriage cannot be saved.  It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make.  The best suggestion I can give is to take care of yourself and B & N and don't make any decisions based on emotions.  I looked at the facts and went through the process.  When everything was said and done at the end of the day, I knew I did what I could, the best I could.


  • image ebat:

    I'm sorry,  it takes 2 to make a marriage work,  you're not a failure. 


    (o) (o) and xoxoxoxo



  • I don't post on this board much any more but I lurk regularly and wanted to extend virtual hugs.  I kind of understand as my H is less than stellar as well.  He is ridiculously lazy around the house, is fairly rude/mean to me and seems apathetic about our son.  We have been and are continuing to see a counselor.  I would like to believe that we'll eventually make it work but I'm not at all convinced.  I live in Mt Airy so if you ever want to get together my email is this same name on yahoo.
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