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Atleast???

karma79karma79 member
in TTC After a Loss

Does it drive anyone else nuts when people say "atleast you know you can get pregnant?"

ATLEAST!

Everyone says this, everyone! And I know they are trying to be encouraging and all but I always want to respond "yea but I don't know if I can keep a pregnancy" but that's not the right response. Just nod and smile.

 UGH!

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Re: Atleast???

  • TapatioTapatio

    ooops-ignore

    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
    Dx with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS)
    BFP #4 5/14/12
    5/17/12...1st Betas- 176, P4 3.6
    5/22/12...2nd Betas- 207, P4 6.1 (MC confirmed)
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  • TapatioTapatio

    I've gotten that line before and it ticks me off. There are many times when I have regretted ever having shared my losses with anyone IRL. They just don't get it. I've even gotten comments like this from people who HAVE experienced pg losses. People suck.

    ETA: Fixed spelling....I'm still half-asleep this morning.

    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
    Dx with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS)
    BFP #4 5/14/12
    5/17/12...1st Betas- 176, P4 3.6
    5/22/12...2nd Betas- 207, P4 6.1 (MC confirmed)
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  • KaitySueWhoKaitySueWho member
    I've heard that line too.. it sucks.
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  • jerryliljessjerryliljess member

    I just wish some people would just say, "I'm sorry for your loss" if they don't know what else to say.   

    5/16/2005: M/C at 7 wks
    5/3/2010: MM/C at 7 wks 6 days
    5/25/2014: CP at 4 wks 3 days

    Because of the great "Snow"vember of 2015, my medicated cycle was cancelled.  However, we were blessed with our little rainbow baby due on 8/14/15!  Baby J had other plans and decided to make his grand ole entrance on 7/4/2015!

    Surprise!  Our little girl entered this world on 12/8/2016 after her eviction notice was long past due.  Our little turkey baby turned into a snow baby!  

                                                        
    Third times the charm!  BFP on 4/18/2019, EDD: 12/18/2019! 
    PgAL/PAL welcome
    PAIF/SAIF welcome too!

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  • karma79karma79 member

    Exactly. I know ppl don't know what to say but sometimes the affirmations just don't work.

    Sometimes I wish no one knew about it and sometimes I wish they all know so they could understand why I hurt all the time.

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  • tmenard29tmenard29
    For me initially it was a bit of a comfort to think "yeah, at least I can get pregnant." But now, I don't want to hear it anymore, I want to hear things like, wow you are looking pregnant today and things like that.....I just want to be pregnant and healthy!!!!
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  • ColleenS629ColleenS629 member
    That comment was really freakin annoying.. especially when it turned out to not be true. If I could so easily get pregnant, I wouldn't be seeing an RE, injecting myself with hormones, and doing IUI... but thanks for your insight into my ute, person who has never experienced loss or IF.
    m/c 7/17/10
    Dx: MFI- 3% morph
    IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
    IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
    3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
    Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance

    FET: Medicated FET moved up to 5/23 due to ovulation
    Transferred a 6BB hatched blastocyst- genetically normal female embryo
    BFP! 5/28- 5dp6dt      
    6/1 Beta #1- 223! 6/3 Beta #2- 567!

    image

     Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
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  • sarahandadam1029sarahandadam1029
    Ooooooo....I HATE that one too. I especially hate it when the dr says it, and says that he can't consider us trying "unsuccessfully" for over a year because "you did get pregnant once." Grrrr....
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  • Izabella22Izabella22 member
    Yup, that comment is beyond obnoxious... IMO there is no good being able to get pregnant if you can't STAY pregnant, that to me is the most important part. The getting pregnant is big, but really pointless if you can't keep that way.
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  • jr63_2020jr63_2020 member
    imagekarma7_17:

    Does it drive anyone else nuts when people say "atleast you know you can get pregnant?"

    ATLEAST!

    Everyone says this, everyone! And I know they are trying to be encouraging and all but I always want to respond "yea but I don't know if I can keep a pregnancy" but that's not the right response. Just nod and smile.

     UGH!

    I've literally responded "sure, I just can't sustain one." Sorry, if you're going to make a stupid comment like that, you can feel awkward about it.
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  • EgsrayEgsray
    Yes!!! I have heard that a lot. Followed by stories about ppl that have fertility problems and why I should be ok... Not the most helpful thing to hear when hurting.
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