intro and question

kmalcheski

Hi I am currently pregnant I keep having ectopic pregnancies and the doctors can't figure out why.  Anyways I just found out on Saturday I was pregnant and then went in on Monday to have my levels checked and they aren't where they should be I have to go back tomorrow to have them rechecked again.  I haven't even told my husband that I am pregnant because I wanted it to be a surprise and now I may be losing this baby too I'm not sure if I even want to tell my husband what do you think?

ohbabyoh

I'm sorry for what you are going through.  I don't have any experience with ectopic pregnancies, so I'm sorry I can't share anything in that way.

I think you should tell your husband.  He loves you and cares about you, and these are the things that the two of you should share.  I would hope that he'll be a strong source of support for you during this time as well.

While my husband and I have always had a very strong relationship and extremely open communication, in a really strange way my miscarriage has brought us closer together and has made us stronger.  Or maybe now I just notice more... but it feels like we share more, are more open, honest, etc.  Connecting with him and feeling the 'togetherness' of our relationship has been very healing for me.

Long story short, you need to take care of yourself at this time (emotionally and physically) and a husband has a right to know, to be there for his wife.  If you don't tell him now, down the road you might feel burdened by it. 

This is just my opinion.  I hope some of the ladies here who've had ectopics can also provide support and/or opinions on your situation.  Whatever you decide, I hope you find peace and comfort in the days to come.

busterbeagle

ohbabyoh:

I'm sorry for what you are going through.  I don't have any experience with ectopic pregnancies, so I'm sorry I can't share anything in that way.

I think you should tell your husband.  He loves you and cares about you, and these are the things that the two of you should share.  I would hope that he'll be a strong source of support for you during this time as well.

While my husband and I have always had a very strong relationship and extremely open communication, in a really strange way my miscarriage has brought us closer together and has made us stronger.  Or maybe now I just notice more... but it feels like we share more, are more open, honest, etc.  Connecting with him and feeling the 'togetherness' of our relationship has been very healing for me.

Long story short, you need to take care of yourself at this time (emotionally and physically) and a husband has a right to know, to be there for his wife.  If you don't tell him now, down the road you might feel burdened by it. 

This is just my opinion.  I hope some of the ladies here who've had ectopics can also provide support and/or opinions on your situation.  Whatever you decide, I hope you find peace and comfort in the days to come.

 

All of this.  I can't imagine how hard it would be to try to go through this yourself, and once your husband realizes that something is upsetting you, he might be hurt that you would keep it from him.  This is just my opinion, and maybe you deal with loss differently than I do, so by all means do what is best for you.  I know there have been moments where I wished my whole pregnancy was just a dream so I could avoid dealing with the pain.  What is best for you is what is right, no matter what your decision.  I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

AnglWngzCT

I am currently going through my 2nd loss in 6 months. I cant imagine not having my husband by my side. I know when things start to kick in, he will be my rock to lean on. Perhaps sharing this with your husband will make it easier for you to deal with. I've been having my betas and progesterone levels checked and my husband has been with me every step of the way.

Only you know what is best for you. I am sorry you are going through this. I will pray for a good outcome for you, a healthy baby. Good luck

HadleyS

ohbabyoh:

I'm sorry for what you are going through.  I don't have any experience with ectopic pregnancies, so I'm sorry I can't share anything in that way.

I think you should tell your husband.  He loves you and cares about you, and these are the things that the two of you should share.  I would hope that he'll be a strong source of support for you during this time as well.

While my husband and I have always had a very strong relationship and extremely open communication, in a really strange way my miscarriage has brought us closer together and has made us stronger.  Or maybe now I just notice more... but it feels like we share more, are more open, honest, etc.  Connecting with him and feeling the 'togetherness' of our relationship has been very healing for me.

Long story short, you need to take care of yourself at this time (emotionally and physically) and a husband has a right to know, to be there for his wife.  If you don't tell him now, down the road you might feel burdened by it. 

This is just my opinion.  I hope some of the ladies here who've had ectopics can also provide support and/or opinions on your situation.  Whatever you decide, I hope you find peace and comfort in the days to come.

This, exactly!  My husband was my rock and it's hard for us to explain to anyone how this has brought us even closer together.  I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time, I too hope that you find peace in your decision.  (((hugs)))