Rude FB comment

mechanicsgirl

ambs21:

Ivana.Stolichnaya:

I don't find anything funny about putting your child up for adoption because you're over-whelmed.  You say stuff like that on a public forum, then be prepared for some people to come right out and say exactly what they're thinking. 

She was a little blunt but I wouldn't have posted that vent of yours.  Sorry, I can't side with you on this one.

ITA.  If my SIL said that about my niece (who drives us all crazy sometimes), I would say something too.  I would call rather than post publicly, but I am older and hopefully more mature than your teenage SIL.  Still, joking about adoption is bound to get you the side eye.  It's offensive to a lot of people.

You're right, she should have said the kid was for sale instead.  (note the sarcasm)...People are taking what is clearly a joke way too seriously.  It's not like she called her kid names or used racial slurs or cussed about her kid.  I'm really surprised some of the people here in particular would take that so seriously.

katiekate1974

Lizard2022:

Even joking, how do you think your LO would feel if they read that years from now?   I think people should be more careful of what they post on facebook.  Saying you are thinking about giving away your child is nothing to joke about.  It reminds me of when people think it is OK to joke about their Lo being "brats" or "little shitts".

LMAO

My mother once threatened to wring my "fvcking little neck" because I was frustrating her so much. I have never laughed so hard in my life. She was horrified that it came out of her mouth. And now it's one of our most favorite stories. I am pretty sure her LO will hardly think she was even remotely serious...if you make the assumption (very big assumption) he'd ever even "find out".

margeincharge2

I don't get the whole, vent about it here but don't complain to your IRL friends/family about your struggles. Being a SAHM isn't for everyone. And even for those who do it, many find it to be challenging and it takes adjustment to get used to. It can be isolating. It can be frustrating. Why the heck should anyone pretend it is sunshine and roses and keep a happy face just because their IL might be offended? Especially in the OP's case where she's not happy about the circumstances that have led her to SAH.

I say screw 'em. I wouldn't get into it with SIL but I would delete the comment, tell her in an email that it was a joke, and then block her. She sounds like a biitch.

And while a joke like that isn't one I would make, I would read the post for what it was, someone who is having a bad day and just needs to vent.  

OCNewlywed

I have 3 kids and I am adopted, and I don't find what you posted offensive. It was very clearly a joke. What your SIL did was very clearly mean-spirited and the people calling her sound equally mean-spirited and petty. Really - they are making calls over one comment?!  It doesn't sound like she is your "friend" at all  or even likes you- I would would find it hard not to write her back..."Calm down. I am just kidding. Some day perhaps you will better understand. In the meantime, thank you for your support! Lol."  I would give her plenty of time to read it and then I would delete her as a friend. And, I think your husband stinks for not supporting you, esp if this is his sister.

Sage Mommy

My best friend and I joke about selling our kids and having a no-returns policy, but we know each others' sense of humor. I don't think I'd have put the OP's exact words out on FB for everyone to see. However, I don't see it being as big of a deal as some are making it out to be.

My grandparents told me they'd leave me on the front porch for the gypsies to take me if I was misbehaving. I was actually a little sad when I found out there really weren't gypsies roaming through the neighborhoods at night. They were told the same thing as kids in the old country so don't flame them for being mean:)

Kmills678

Yeah she would get an instant delete from my friends list after deleting her comment. If she cant get joking and sarcasm and doesn't like how you talk she doesn't need to see your facebook. The End.

I wouldnt even bother talking to her if she asks you about it you can tell her what an idiot she is.

groovygrl

daisy_dueller:

My mom used to say she was going to drop me off at the Native Reserve. Never once did I actually think she was going to do that, and it never hurt my feelings either...just sayin'.

 

My dad's parents actually packed him a suitcase, put his coat on & walked him out to the car once while his sister was inside watching...they cracked up over it  as adults and used to tell the story all the time.

OP since you weren't asking what we thought of your post but about your SIL's reaction, clearly she went high & mighty and overkill on you, I would just do as others said, delete, etc. She'll fit in well on the bump when she is a perfect PC & uber sensitive mom like so many on here one day though....  I'm sure you regret posting something like that b/c of all this but we all say things that are meant jokingly & someone takes the wrong way at some point(s) in time. Unfortunately FB is one of those places where the overreactors make it that much worse.

Don't worry! 

 

Gina1221

I really don't find anything offensive about what you said...you were clearly joking.  And I agree that this crowd is being a little tough on you.

12bailey18

 I don't see the big deal in your sarcastic comment. I think your SIL was being a bit dramatic. I would have deleted her comment and been done with it.

ToledoDeux

nola*Steph:

Echowysp:

I'd just remind her that it's easy to talk when you haven't been in the situation and that pull out the "one day you'll know what I'm talking about" card. 

She's a kid and ignorant.  Ignore her.

ETA:  Geez, tough crowd here.  Don't worry, OP, me and my friends joke at times on FB (and in RL) about running away from home, having children up for cheap sale and wanting to rip our hair out.  None of which is ever taking serious and is understood to be a joke.  

 

Seriously.  Good lord.

 

 

Double seriously. I can't believe the overreactions to your comments. I don't understand how joking about the circus is any different than joking about adoption, either. LOL. Both involve abandoning your children, correct? If someone can't see the sarcasm in either comment, fcuk 'em.

Jermysgirl

My daughter was adopted and I make the same kinds of jokes sometimes. People with a sense of humor get it and people without usually gasp. It's a good way to cull out the lame-os. And since when is adoption offensive??

kb5302

Ivana.Stolichnaya:

I don't find anything funny about putting your child up for adoption because you're over-whelmed.  You say stuff like that on a public forum, then be prepared for some people to come right out and say exactly what they're thinking. 

She was a little blunt but I wouldn't have posted that vent of yours.  Sorry, I can't side with you on this one.

agreed

Toosdai

Do you guys have your butt cheeks clenched because of the AE with the backdoor action siggy pic? It's okay, the strap on isn't coming for you, y'all can unclench.
The adoption comment is a joke. It's not in poor taste and should not be taken seriously. You should side-eye your damn selves and not the OP.

jessloveschase08

:headdesk:

I think everyone who gave you the side-eye needs to remove the stick from her ass.

FerreraRocher

Toosdai:

Do you guys have your butt cheeks clenched because of the AE with the backdoor action siggy pic? It's okay, the strap on isn't coming for you, y'all can unclench.
The adoption comment is a joke. It's not in poor taste and should not be taken seriously. You should side-eye your damn selves and not the OP.

I think we all have our own opinions. If not finding the sarcasm funny makes me a tightasz than so be it. I have my reasoning and that is that.

LoriB00

Lizard2022:

Echowysp:

Lizard2022:

Even joking, how do you think your LO would feel if they read that years from now?   I think people should be more careful of what they post on facebook.  Saying you are thinking about giving away your child is nothing to joke about.  It reminds me of when people think it is OK to joke about their Lo being "brats" or "little shitts".

You really think that her child is going to scroll back to a comment made on FB 20 years ago?  Really?  

Good lord, it's not like she posted it in the kid's baby book.  

Its not probable, but possible.  I just think people should be more respectful towards their kids.  Before I post anything, I think about how it will make people feel, even if they can't read yet.   I try not to ever put anything out there that could hurt DS, even in jest.  I may be too sensitive though.

Have you ever tried to go back two weeks on Facebook? It takes for-freaking-ever, I'm not sure going back 20 years would even be possible. You're being ridiculous! 

~Soleil~

jessloveschase08:

:headdesk:

I think everyone who gave you the side-eye needs to remove the stick from her ass.

I'll get right on that...

Seriously, I understood that it was meant in jest but if the OP got that upset over what SIL said she should also be able to understand how someone else could get upset about what she said. That is all.

KristenJcksn

Wow, people must be bored tonight! OP I don't see the big deal, I see you were just kidding around, your SIL is a little crazy.I'd delete her comment and move on. I hate family drama so I'd try to stop it instead of escalating it.

Those who took offense to the comment must not have hit the terrible 2's yet! I think I joke with DH once a week about running away, he knows I'm just kidding!

Lesley0228

Jermysgirl:

My daughter was adopted and I make the same kinds of jokes sometimes. People with a sense of humor get it and people without usually gasp. It's a good way to cull out the lame-os. And since when is adoption offensive??

I don't think that anyone said adoption was offensive. However, adoption is something that a seriously overburdened mother in some situations may actually have to consider. Personally, I don't think its funny to joke about something that may be a realistic, painful choice for some people. Obviously not the OP and her SIL was a dipsh!t to think she meant it. In contrast sending your child to the circus or to live with gypsies is so obnoxiously unrealistic that even those who lack a sense of humor would be able to pick up on your sarcasm.

userdeleted

This is what you do. Go to your desktop, create a new folder. Title it "SIL Future Revenge." C&P this exchange into a document, and add in every snotty little idiot teenager thing she says to you about motherhood.  Wait a few years, until one day she has a little monster...erm...adorable angel, of her own. Then email it to her. You'll probably feel awesome and might even get an apology!

Also, what you said was not offensive, and those who are offended really need to take a deeper look at what issues in their own life might be causing them to react with such sensitivity to a very obvious, time worn joke.

userdeleted

Lesley0228:

Jermysgirl:

My daughter was adopted and I make the same kinds of jokes sometimes. People with a sense of humor get it and people without usually gasp. It's a good way to cull out the lame-os. And since when is adoption offensive??

I don't think that anyone said adoption was offensive. However, adoption is something that a seriously overburdened mother in some situations may actually have to consider. Personally, I don't think its funny to joke about something that may be a realistic, painful choice for some people. Obviously not the OP and her SIL was a dipsh!t to think she meant it. In contrast sending your child to the circus or to live with gypsies is so obnoxiously unrealistic that even those who lack a sense of humor would be able to pick up on your sarcasm.

You know that there are people who are so poor that they have to sell their children to work in the circus, right? I don't find that funny at all. In fact, it's a tragedy, and you my friend, are heartless. 

mlwurster

You didn't say anything deserving that kind of response.  I have written nearly the same thing on my FB and got a couple of people willing to take him on (I haven't taken them up on it, though).  You needed to vent and you did.  I would delete the comment and call her.  Then I would have a talk with your DH about where his support should be.

katiekate1974

Rach03k:

Lesley0228:

Jermysgirl:

My daughter was adopted and I make the same kinds of jokes sometimes. People with a sense of humor get it and people without usually gasp. It's a good way to cull out the lame-os. And since when is adoption offensive??

I don't think that anyone said adoption was offensive. However, adoption is something that a seriously overburdened mother in some situations may actually have to consider. Personally, I don't think its funny to joke about something that may be a realistic, painful choice for some people. Obviously not the OP and her SIL was a dipsh!t to think she meant it. In contrast sending your child to the circus or to live with gypsies is so obnoxiously unrealistic that even those who lack a sense of humor would be able to pick up on your sarcasm.

You know that there are people who are so poor that they have to sell their children to work in the circus, right? I don't find that funny at all. In fact, it's a tragedy, and you my friend, are heartless. 

Bahaha I love it

lanie30

I am laughing at loud at the nonsensical responses on here. Selling to circus = ok. Adoption = just terrible, how could you?

 

Okey dokey. 

 

I regularily ask people whose child Jo is if she is acting up in public. "Oh my, who is your mother? Let's go find her."

 

Clearly, I have 0 respect for her. BHAHAHAAHAHAHAH! 

lanie30

"Its not probable, but possible.  I just think people should be more respectful towards their kids.  Before I post anything, I think about how it will make people feel, even if they can't read yet.   I try not to ever put anything out there that could hurt DS, even in jest.  I may be too sensitive though."

 Yes. I kept an awesome journal for Jo to read one day. It's full of my real feelings about her first years. Some of it is brutally honest. I owe her that. I owe her that so one day when she's upset because her baby won't sleep, and she's at her limit, she can relate. I don't want to gloss over the tough times or not make jokes because I think its important to learn to laugh through things.

And I'm not a perfect parent. I have times in my life where I want out and that's ok. She will too.

 

shoeboxx

It was a joke...hahaha...she totally overreacted.

Lesley0228

Okay okay, I'll unclutch. Admittedly, I have my own issues when it comes to adoption. OPer, vent as you see fit and its probably best to delete that SIL of yours.

Lucky428

I can't believe how many responses this thread has...

LoriFalce

Moses on a pony. There's a whole lot of people that could use some chocolate-coated Xanax.

And "how will your child feel in 20 years if they should happen upon this?"

There need to be more Catholics on this board to school people in the proper use of guilt. You TELL the kid, when he's a monstrous 15yo terror, that the only reason he's not living with carnies and setting up the Ferris wheel every morning is that his mother fought the urge to trade him for a bag of kettle corn. BECAUSE THAT IS JUST WHAT A GOOD MOTHER SHE IS, DAMN IT!!!

Guilt is an important parenting tool. Sharpen it, people.

Brookie-Cookie

If I was your friend on FB I would have said "Sing it sister, come get my kids on your way to the orphanage and I'll pick up some beer!"

I especially think it's awesome that your SIL felt strong enough about how horrible you are that she wrote it on your wall.  Ya, your wall!  Not a private message or you know a phone call.  F her.  F them.

soko987

This thread is hysterical.

Your sister in law was out of line, and the detractors in this post need to pull the stick back a little.

ETA: LoriFalce, I would like to put your response on a t-shirt. I would wear it everyday.

sunnyday016

Chrysallys:

I think it was a poor choice of wording on your part. I agree with pp, a comment like the circus one would have been understood as sarcasm much more than the one you made.

ITA. 

LoriFalce

soko987:

This thread is hysterical.

Your sister in law was out of line, and the detractors in this post need to pull the stick back a little.

ETA: LoriFalce, I would like to put your response on a t-shirt. I would wear it everyday.

I'm licensing it, and will petition The Bump to sell it for an enormous profit.

yodo19

I don't think it's appropriate to post something like you did on FB.  You have to realize it's a public social networking site, and people can find a million reasons to fault you and get offended.  That said I also think your SIL over-reacted.  She could have called you to confront you about it rather than snarking back on FB.  Come onto TB when you want to vent-it's a much more appropriate way (anonymous) to vent about children.