Baby Shower - How to Handle?

SarahP15

My mom has offered to throw me a baby shower, which I am very grateful for.  Because she lives out of state and only comes to IL for summers (typically April-Aug), planning will be a little more difficult for her.  We were talking about it today and she says she may not be coming to IL until May so she might wait to have the shower then.  In May I'm graduating from nursing school, we have a wedding DH is in, a good friend's baby is due, plus I'm due June 6th....which doesn't leave much time.  I already told her I would feel more comfortable if the shower were at the beginning of April (or even end of March) so we can get the nursery completed, buy the things we don't get at the shower, wash all the clothes, and do all the miscellaneous things that will need to be done, but she seems pretty stuck on not coming back until May.

What do I do?  I don't want this to stress me out, especially with so many things going on that month. 

Pockety

You should do what you are comfortable with.

Can she fly in for a weekend in March/April if you help with the planning?   Alternately, would she want to throw a "meet the baby" party in July, rather than a shower in the spring?  

carolleeg31

i hear ya my mom is trying to do the same for me but she is coming home from florida a month earlier than usualy to have it. I will be 35 weeks. Its good but it also means my mom is going to be staying with us for an extra month in the summer.

I think try to have her come for a week, if she can travel during the week its cheaper, if u can offer to buy her a plane ticket to ease some of the stress. good luck my mom told me to plan a lot and she will take care of the food/etc

Birdies08

I would just make sure you're really clear with her that May is just not going to work. A meet the baby party is an excellent suggestion, but if she can't work with your schedule, you may need to decline the shower. Or, maybe you'd rather do it in May than not at all.

That's a tough situation- of course you want to accept, but I can really see why May is not going to work for you. I'm due after you and not nearly as busy and I'm a little nervous about my family shower being in May. Like you said, you want time to buy the rest of the items you need for yourself and get things together before LO shows up!

cvl105

Can she come the first week in May? If so, I wouldn't make too big of a deal.  That gives you 4+ weeks to get everything together (assuming the baby comes on time).

gymnst1013

Personally (and I understand I may be in the minority here), if someone were generous enough to plan me a shower, I'd let them do whatever they want whenever they want.  I do understand wanting to be able to get the nursery ready and wash the clothes and stuff but really (and again, this is JMO), I'm not relying on a shower to provide me with what the baby needs and what I want to finish the nursery.  That is up to MH and I.  Anything we get at the shower is just icing on the cake.  In other words, I would have the nursery finished prior to the shower if that's the timeline I wanted to stick to.  And any clothes you get at the shower really won't take all that long to wash - just a day really or spread out over a couple of days.

The shower will only be a few hours out of one day and if you end up having the baby early, well, that is a risk your mom is taking.  I wouldn't stress about that.

Roni.Cedra

gymnst1013:

Personally (and I understand I may be in the minority here), if someone were generous enough to plan me a shower, I'd let them do whatever they want whenever they want.  I do understand wanting to be able to get the nursery ready and wash the clothes and stuff but really (and again, this is JMO), I'm not relying on a shower to provide me with what the baby needs and what I want to finish the nursery.  That is up to MH and I.  Anything we get at the shower is just icing on the cake.  In other words, I would have the nursery finished prior to the shower if that's the timeline I wanted to stick to.  And any clothes you get at the shower really won't take all that long to wash - just a day really or spread out over a couple of days.

The shower will only be a few hours out of one day and if you end up having the baby early, well, that is a risk your mom is taking.  I wouldn't stress about that.

This. I actually am torn about whether or not I WANT a shower. I don't like the idea of the obligatory showering you with gifts... I would let her have her fun, and if someone else gets concerned and throws you an additional shower, great! 

chloephoebecali

gymnst1013:

Personally (and I understand I may be in the minority here), if someone were generous enough to plan me a shower, I'd let them do whatever they want whenever they want.  I do understand wanting to be able to get the nursery ready and wash the clothes and stuff but really (and again, this is JMO), I'm not relying on a shower to provide me with what the baby needs and what I want to finish the nursery.  That is up to MH and I.  Anything we get at the shower is just icing on the cake.  In other words, I would have the nursery finished prior to the shower if that's the timeline I wanted to stick to.  And any clothes you get at the shower really won't take all that long to wash - just a day really or spread out over a couple of days.

The shower will only be a few hours out of one day and if you end up having the baby early, well, that is a risk your mom is taking.  I wouldn't stress about that.

This!  I had a shower at 37weeks plus some days and it was fine.  I know some people go early, but you should have enough time to get stuff together.

MelanieAdam0707

I know this can be a huge faux pas...but my mom and sister are having my hometown (5 hrs away) shower early bc its what makes sense for us....late Feb (25 weeks). It's a smaller shower than the one being thrown for me locally but it just worked out that I could take a longer stay home bc of Feb vacation and then my sister is willing to drive back up behind us with stuff (if there are big odd things that dont fit in my vehicle between me, DH and the two dogs.    Then my sister and Mom actually (I LOVE THEM) want to throw a local shower for me in April (33wks) and come up here...during April vacation when my sister has time off. 

I too am thankful for anyone's help in making our baby's welcome in to the world special and we are blessed to have people "showering" us  

SarahP15

Thanks for the input ladies - it's always nice to get an outsider's perspective.  I will see if my mom can throw it the 1st week in May, otherwise politely decline and take my friend up on her offer to throw one earlier.  With nursing finals in May, I know the first couple of weeks are going to be ridiculously hectic but the 1st weekend would probably work. 

egpitt22

I see your point & would feel the same way.  PP's are absolutely right, showers are a bonus and no one is obligated to bring gifts, but let's the honest...they will & it's where a LOT of your stuff for the baby is probably going to come from.  We had done what we could to the nursery prior to my showers last time (furniture, bedding, decor, etc...) but waited to finish until after my showers to see what we got from there.  Then we went out & bought what we still needed.  I think if your mom could throw it the first week of May, that would work out well & still give you time to get the stuff that you'll have to buy and put the rest of the room together.

Good luck!