My Story- for those that would like to read

lauren.cus

This has been a work in progress since last week, but I finally feel happy with it. It has brought me so much comfort to write down our entire story.

Warning: this is our ENTIRE story BFP, Ultrasound pictures, and all included.

https://laurenrodgers.net/?p=167

lauren.cus

theresat858:

I want to read this, and I will...but I can't right now.  Maybe tonight when I am not at work, maybe tomorrow if I am feeling stronger.  Just wanting to let you know I am interested in your story, but I know it will make me cry, and can't break down at work.

{{{hugs}}}

I completely understand as I'm also sure reading it will bring back memories of your own. Feel free to read whenever you'd like, even if it's in a year...it will still be there. Thank you for your message!

LDW80

Lauren~I just read your story and though I don't know you personally I want to say you are a VERY strong woman and I respect you so much for sharing your heart wrenching story.  I lost my baby at 13 wks but it stopped growing at 11wks.  It never passed through me and I just couldn't imagine what you've gone through, felt, saw when you saw your baby in your hands at just 12wks gestation.  I have heard from so many people that a baby really isn't a baby or looks like a baby at 12wks, 13wks and even 14 weeks.  I just want to slap them and show them my last 3-d ultrasound picture I have of my baby at 11wks.  I can see the nose, the eyes, the arms, the hands, the lips.  That baby was SO real.  I don't know what God's plan is for each of us or why this has happened but I feel so much stronger because of this and more of a woman.  Like I can conquer anything.  You are such a strong woman and you WILL get your take home baby.  I know you will be the best mother and that baby is going to be the luckiest.  All our babies are in heaven now runnng around carefree and looking down at us smiling. They know one day they will meet us again and be with us eternally.  I will continue to pray for you and hope that you heal emotionally.  I hate that we are all on here for the same horrible reason but I have met some of the most wonderful compassionate ladies on here and I find peace with that.  I know we were on the same pregnancy month board before and I hope we will be on the same one again in the near future.  If you ever need to talk I am here to listen. 

Laura

lauren.cus

LDW80:

Lauren~I just read your story and though I don't know you personally I want to say you are a VERY strong woman and I respect you so much for sharing your heart wrenching story.  I lost my baby at 13 wks but it stopped growing at 11wks.  It never passed through me and I just couldn't imagine what you've gone through, felt, saw when you saw your baby in your hands at just 12wks gestation.  I have heard from so many people that a baby really isn't a baby or looks like a baby at 12wks, 13wks and even 14 weeks.  I just want to slap them and show them my last 3-d ultrasound picture I have of my baby at 11wks.  I can see the nose, the eyes, the arms, the hands, the lips.  That baby was SO real.  I don't know what God's plan is for each of us or why this has happened but I feel so much stronger because of this and more of a woman.  Like I can conquer anything.  You are such a strong woman and you WILL get your take home baby.  I know you will be the best mother and that baby is going to be the luckiest.  All our babies are in heaven now runnng around carefree and looking down at us smiling. They know one day they will meet us again and be with us eternally.  I will continue to pray for you and hope that you heal emotionally.  I hate that we are all on here for the same horrible reason but I have met some of the most wonderful compassionate ladies on here and I find peace with that.  I know we were on the same pregnancy month board before and I hope we will be on the same one again in the near future.  If you ever need to talk I am here to listen. 

Laura

 

Laura,

 Thank you so much for reading:) and thank you so incredibly much for your kind words. They mean so much to me. I am so sorry for your loss as well. No matter when the baby stopped growing or how it happened, a loss is a loss and it is horrible any way you look at it...I wish there was just a magic wand that could take it all back for all of us.

 I completely agree though that, through this tragedy, I have become so much stronger. I too feel like I can now conquer the world! It's amazing what you can overcome when you stare fear in the face.I know a lot of women struggle with feeling like a "woman" after a loss, but I , like you, have felt the exact opposite. I feel like I have just joined an amazing group of women. It's like a club you never want to be a part of, but once you're here and meet all these amazing women and hear the strength they have...I just have to call myself lucky to even know them.

 As far as people saying it's not yet a a baby at 11 or 12 weeks....they obviously have not experienced a pregnancy. I can tell you from experience, it is truly a baby and truly looks like a baby. Perfect little fingers, toes, ears, and all...beautiful.

 I know our take home babies are right around the corner! That would be amazing if we were on the same month board together again. I just love all the July 11 women, even more so now. You and your family are in my prayers as well...we will get through this together:) Here's to sticky, happy, healthy babies for us in 2011!!!

 -L

yeliza h

    Lauren,

I want to give you a big hug after reading this!! You are a very strong person and thanks so much for sharing your story.

lauren.cus

yelizah:

    Lauren,

I want to give you a big hug after reading this!! You are a very strong person and thanks so much for sharing your story.

Aw hugs rightback to you:) thank you so much:) we are ALL very strong women for what we've gone through!!

julmoura

I'm so sorry for your loss and I wanted to tell you that your story inspired me to write down my experience over the past 1 1/2 years ttc. I don't know if I'm ready just yet, but I will soon. I just suffered my 3rd loss and had an emergency laparoscopy for an ectopic. That gut wrenching feeling is all to familiar to me. The sad thing is that, I became much more guarded during my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies. I wouldn't allow dh to utter the words "your pregnant or we're pregnant". The good thing, like you said, is that you truly realize just how strong you are. Hugs!

LaurenB15

OMG Lauren I had no idea that you had to go through that!  It broke my heart to read your story though I am SO glad you have a wonderful man like Alex by your side and wonderful friends and family too.  I know I couldn't have made it through this without my husband.  I know this had made me stronger, and I'm glad it has made you feel that way.  WE WILL HAVE LOs!

lauren.cus

Thank you all so much for reading and sharing your kind words:)

julmoura:

I'm so sorry for your loss and I wanted to tell you that your story inspired me to write down my experience over the past 1 1/2 years ttc. I don't know if I'm ready just yet, but I will soon. I just suffered my 3rd loss and had an emergency laparoscopy for an ectopic. That gut wrenching feeling is all to familiar to me. The sad thing is that, I became much more guarded during my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies. I wouldn't allow dh to utter the words "your pregnant or we're pregnant". The good thing, like you said, is that you truly realize just how strong you are. Hugs!

I'm so glad this has inspired you to write your experiences down. Whenever you're ready, I hope it can bring you the peace it has brought me. I can't tell you how amazing it's been to have my story out there. I'm so incredibly sorry for your losses. I can't even imagine having to go through this pain three times. You are far stronger than I. You're in my prayers to get your take home baby soon:) I'm feeling positive things from 2011:)

Vane5/06

so sorry for your loss. You are a strong and brave woman to share this with us. hugs!

JoBieger05

I am just a lurker here, but I wanted to tell you that I am so sorry and thinking of you and your husband. I too had a miscarriage like yours. And I saw my precious little baby who was not supposed to be in the world for many more months. My heart goes out to you. I am so, so sorry.

Niftyroses

Lauren, I'm so sorry for your loss.  Thank you for sharing your story.  I'm glad to hear that you and your DH are turning to each other and God during this time.  I'm praying with you....I need a take home baby next time!