Anyone else freaking out??

clkane14

So I'm officially 5 weeks and a few days and I can't stop worrying about how it's going to be when the baby gets here in Sept. My husband wants me to go back to my job as a marketing manager after maternity leave and I'm just freaking out about how I'm going to be able to juggle everything. It makes me sad to think that our little one could be in daycare for 8-9 hours a day. Any advice? Is anyone else freaking out about this too?  

sumati

for now, I havent really freaked out about going back to work after having the baby... but I'm pretty sure that will come about for me.  We have to have two incomes, so it isn't an option for me not to work.  My BIL and his wife both work and they just had a baby last year (and are expecting another right now).  Their daughter is in daycare and is doing fine.  I think my mom had me with a lady that held daycare out of her house when I was a baby up until pre-school age.. and I'm fine as well.  So I guess maybe it all seems kind of the norm for me b/c of that.  I dunno.  I think it's an issue that I'll probably have stronger feeling one way or the other the further I progress through the pregnancy.

 I've also thought about maybe working half days for a bit before I go back full time.. but I would have to talk to my boss and HR to see if I can use my maternity leave time like that. 

I'm kind of freaking out about how I will breast pump at work.  I work in an IT dept at a school (mostly guys).  I'm in a cubicle and there aren't any empty offices or spaces I can breast feed on campus.  I know I want to breast feed and not do formula... So that's been in the back of my mind on how I'm going to work that out.  :P

lawgalheel

This is our second pregnancy.  Our DS is 19 months old.  I was not in favor of going back to work, but my DH is not in favor of giving up the long-term security that my salary and career provide.  So, I was in your shoes two years ago.  I'm sorry that you are going through this, I know it's not fun.

 First, you need to communicate with your DH about your fears.  I don't know if your DH feels like your family needs to you work for financial reasons, or what, but if that is the case, then you and he have to take a good look at your finances and see if that really is the case.  

If you DO need to work, then you and your DH need to have some honest communication about how the "juggling" is going to take place.  To be honest, I--like most working moms I know--pick up more of the child rearing/house maintenance duties than my DH.  Part of that is my DH's work schedule.  Still, I think it's really a good idea to have some honest communication, before your baby is born, about how you all are going to divide the workload, and who will be on call when your baby gets sick and cannot go to daycare.

Finally, do research now to find a daycare you really trust.  Again, when I was in your shoes, the thought of daycare made me sick to my stomach.  After some thorough research--including investigating nanny options--we found a daycare that we're really, really happy with.   I feel connected to my son's life in the daycare.  I feel like he's loved by his teachers.  I cannot stress how important it is that, if you choose to work, you find a childcare situation that makes you comfortable and happy.  I'm not going to lie--it was hard when he was younger because he would be tired from daycare, and have to go bed super early at night.  Now that he's older and napping better, we actually get some "family time" in the evenings. 

 GL!

sadiesauce

I have my DD in daycare full time, and it was very tough going back to work at 12 weeks. Well, it's still tough now, but I do my best to focus on the positives... I never beg for a break from being a mom, I get to be around adults every day, my LO gets a built-in play date every day...

But you know, your DH is probably freaking out too and worrying about how you guys are going to have room in your lives for a LO. He's probably nervous to take on the full financial responsibility of supporting you and a family. He's got a full year to come around!

What I'm freaking out about is how on earth we're going to be able to afford two in daycare. I'm the majority breadwinner in our house. The plan is for me to stay home (which I'm THRILLED about even though I know it's going to be seriously challenging), but I don't know how we'll get by on his salary. Sigh.

boxermama24

Honestly, not to be snarky because your feelings are COMPLETELY normal and valid, but I wish I could be worrying about those types of things right now. I am too wrapped up in first trimester fears to enjoy (or worry) about the future...

Sorry, I don't have anything of value to offer on the subject, but good luck!

laurasuzanne2006

would it be possible to change your schedule or hours?  I'm a nurse and had my manager put me on the waiting list to do weekend nights (fri and sat)  than another 12 hour shift during the week.  That way i'll be home four days during the week. My only fear is if i won't be on it by the time LO is born

shanna82

This is a discussion DH and I had long before TTC began so we wouldn't have to deal with what you are going through.

We've decided I'll be a SAHM after much discussion and # crunching and put off TTC for 5 months so we could handle it.