Playing with food...really?!

StarlitRN

We started BLW with DD a few days ago and I posted a few cute photos of her "eating" (ie- making a mess) on facebook. Since then I've talked to at least 6 friends who have said that they have never let their kiddos play with their food ( ages 8-11mo)!! They all either spoon feed their LOs or hand them one small bite at a time.their reasoning is because they don't want to "teach their LOs that it is ok to play with food". Really?!?! Hmmm....I always thought the baby covered with food in the highchair was pretty mainstream! Who would of thought this would be another "weird" thing I'm doing!

shaunna&chad

Makes you wonder how they expect their LOs to learn to feed themselves?  I guess that explains why so many toddlers can't feed themselves.  H feeds himself quite splendidly, even with a spoon.  It's so amazing to watch him eat, the mess is more than worth it.  He's actually not too awfully messy anyway!  Have fun Mama!

Lotte134

That is strange.  I always thought it best to make food fun and accessible.  Heck I still like to 'play' with my food now and then. 

bh2720

I don't think it has to be one or the other.

I don't let my son "play" with his food, but I did let him use the spoon/fork on his own so he would learn how to use it. He was definitely messy for a couple weeks but he got the hang of it remarkably fast.

I think learning good table manners is really important. I don't let him play with food and if he throws food, the meal is over. The way I look at it is that I'd rather try to teach him these things now, than have to correct that behavior later. 

nekorayne

IMO playing with food is important My pedi told me that dropping food on the ground was all in the name of science and very healthy part of learning as was getting messy.

They have to learn somehow and you can't learn without a mess. They will make one now or later depending on if you let them learn to feed themselves now or later. I believe in table manners, but I also think that some things we, as adults, see as rude is just a learning experience for our LO's. Of course throwing food at someone or across the room is different then just dropping it on the floor. But as far as just getting messy or seeing what happens when you drop a carrot stick on the floor (will it come back? Is it gone forever"? Can I see it?) I see it as learning.

I model good table manners and we eat as a family and we say places, thank you, excuse me and the best way to teach is to model and let them go at it!

BelhurstBride

I think there's a difference between a baby trying to learn to feed themselves and playing with food. A baby trying to learn to feed themselves is going to make a mess, regardless of the age you give them the opportunity to feed themselves.

I also end mealtime when DD starts throwing food, but that's also how I know she's finished, when she starts feeding it to the dogs. 

lolagrinnin

shaunna&chad:

Makes you wonder how they expect their LOs to learn to feed themselves?  I guess that explains why so many toddlers can't feed themselves.  H feeds himself quite splendidly, even with a spoon.  It's so amazing to watch him eat, the mess is more than worth it.  He's actually not too awfully messy anyway!  Have fun Mama!

I am perhaps feeling rather testy today, but really? What, because someone doesn't do BLW/isn't ok with their kid flinging food around, they're not going to learn to feed themselves? This is pretty much the same argument that people use against rocking your child to sleep - I'm pretty sure their kids will be able to eat with utensils by the time they go off to college.

Ananke

Most of the books I've read suggest letting your LO "play" with their food - it's another aspect of exploration and learning.  Allowing your baby to play with their food as they are learning how to eat, isn't going to cause bad table manners.  Personally, I can't wait to clean up his food messes!!

bh2720

Ananke:

Most of the books I've read suggest letting your LO "play" with their food - it's another aspect of exploration and learning.  Allowing your baby to play with their food as they are learning how to eat, isn't going to cause bad table manners.  Personally, I can't wait to clean up his food messes!!

hahahahahahaha....I love statements like this from people who haven't experienced toddlers first hand.

Bride2bMO

Lol, if I could get my toddler to play with his food I'd jump for joy. He has sensory issues and extreme picky eating. He's never touched a carrot, pea, broccoli spear...much less eaten it. part of his therapy plan is to "play with food!" I know he's not typical, but I will be all for messy eating/playing with this baby. Though I never had a problem with it before, either, as he just didn't like messes from the beginning.

shaunna&chad

lolagrinnin:

shaunna&chad:

Makes you wonder how they expect their LOs to learn to feed themselves?  I guess that explains why so many toddlers can't feed themselves.  H feeds himself quite splendidly, even with a spoon.  It's so amazing to watch him eat, the mess is more than worth it.  He's actually not too awfully messy anyway!  Have fun Mama!

I am perhaps feeling rather testy today, but really? What, because someone doesn't do BLW/isn't ok with their kid flinging food around, they're not going to learn to feed themselves? This is pretty much the same argument that people use against rocking your child to sleep - I'm pretty sure their kids will be able to eat with utensils by the time they go off to college.

I don't agree it's okay to "fling food", but I do think the mess, dropping things, etc. is all part of the learning experience. Maybe I also feel the way I do, because my niece could barely feed herself at four years old. I just think babies/kids need to be allowed to explore and experiment. Just my personal opinion, and why we will use this approach for our family.

StarlitRN

bh2720:

Ananke:

Most of the books I've read suggest letting your LO "play" with their food - it's another aspect of exploration and learning.  Allowing your baby to play with their food as they are learning how to eat, isn't going to cause bad table manners.  Personally, I can't wait to clean up his food messes!!

hahahahahahaha....I love statements like this from people who haven't experienced toddlers first hand.

oh I agree there is a difference between a toddler throwing food or making a mess when they know better and a 6mo old learning how to get a handful of spinach from plate to mouth!!

BelhurstBride

lolagrinnin:

shaunna&chad:

Makes you wonder how they expect their LOs to learn to feed themselves?  I guess that explains why so many toddlers can't feed themselves.  H feeds himself quite splendidly, even with a spoon.  It's so amazing to watch him eat, the mess is more than worth it.  He's actually not too awfully messy anyway!  Have fun Mama!

I am perhaps feeling rather testy today, but really? What, because someone doesn't do BLW/isn't ok with their kid flinging food around, they're not going to learn to feed themselves? This is pretty much the same argument that people use against rocking your child to sleep - I'm pretty sure their kids will be able to eat with utensils by the time they go off to college.

Children learn to eat by being given the opportunity to feed themselves. Whenever that happens chances are a mess is going to be involved. Self feeding and BLW do not mean flinging food; the mess is a result of the learning. 

MomOf2Littles

I understand what the op is meaning. My 12 month old nephew has never held a spoon before! Crazy!

blueyez09

BelhurstBride:

I think there's a difference between a baby trying to learn to feed themselves and playing with food. A baby trying to learn to feed themselves is going to make a mess, regardless of the age you give them the opportunity to feed themselves.

I also end mealtime when DD starts throwing food, but that's also how I know she's finished, when she starts feeding it to the dogs. 

This, however last night he used it to tell me he didn't want any more of that and pointed at what he did want.

Ananke

StarlitRN:

bh2720:

Ananke:

Most of the books I've read suggest letting your LO "play" with their food - it's another aspect of exploration and learning.  Allowing your baby to play with their food as they are learning how to eat, isn't going to cause bad table manners.  Personally, I can't wait to clean up his food messes!!

hahahahahahaha....I love statements like this from people who haven't experienced toddlers first hand.

oh I agree there is a difference between a toddler throwing food or making a mess when they know better and a 6mo old learning how to get a handful of spinach from plate to mouth!!

I agree - big difference! And I was definitely meaning the 'learning' messes, not the ornery messes! Although I may not have a toddler of my own, I was around when my brother was a toddler and had to clean up after him often enough, so I have experienced a toddler first hand - there is a 17 year difference in our ages, so I remember very well the toddler messes.

anna7602

That is really weird (your friend's comments, I mean).

ETA: Just read through all the comments to this post. I am reacting to OP's friends never giving their kids anything more than one or two pieces at a time to "avoid playing with food." Yes, that's weird. I'm all for table manners, but I'm of the opinion that the best way to teach them is to model them for your child and to gently redirect when your child has a moment of being "rude." Preventing your child from touching food completely does not seem an effective way to teach table manners. It seems to just delay the moment at which they will want to explore their food with their fingers and hands. Food is very much a sensory experience and I would be surprised if the kids who are never allowed to touch their food under the age of 1 (or whenever) don't end up touching it and "making a mess" at some point later.