what am I missing here? — The Bump
VBAC

what am I missing here?

Hi ladies....came across this board while prepping for #2. I had a C the first time, and unlike a lot of people (so it seems), was overjoyed. I never felt deprived, or felt like I didn't bond with my LO, or missed out on a life experience. The first time I heard LO cry and saw him for the first time was just awesome. My number one priority was a healthy baby, and that is all that was on my mind. How he was born wasn't all that important, as long as he and I were ok.

As I get ready for #2, there is so much emphasis on a VBAC and having that "experience."  I just don't get it....what am I missing?

Re: what am I missing here?

  • You're not missing anything. You just had a different experience than some other women have. Some women LOVE their c/s experience. Some women hate theirs. And some don't care at all. I think a lot of it has to do with expectations. If you see the birth as the thing that has to happen for your baby to get here, then the details aren't as important as if you see the birth as a life-changing or defining moment in your life. I don't think either outlook is necessarily bad or wrong, but it's hard for someone to understand one when they have the other.
  • If you were satisfied with your birth experience last time, or do not feel that VBAC is something you want to persue with your next birth, then there is nothing "to get".   You're not missing anything and it is your choice to attempt your next birth experince the way you want. 

    I'm not going to speak for everyone on this board as to why they want a VBAC, but for me, looking at the risks of RCS vs. VBAC, I feel that VBAC is the safer option for me and the best for my family.   I fully understand that it's not a guarantee, but it's something I want to attempt.  I'm not going to say it's the right choice for everyone, but I feel it is the right choice for me.

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  • imagecookingdude:

    Hi ladies....came across this board while prepping for #2. I had a C the first time, and unlike a lot of people (so it seems), was overjoyed. I never felt deprived, or felt like I didn't bond with my LO, or missed out on a life experience. The first time I heard LO cry and saw him for the first time was just awesome. My number one priority was a healthy baby, and that is all that was on my mind. How he was born wasn't all that important, as long as he and I were ok.

    As I get ready for #2, there is so much emphasis on a VBAC and having that "experience."  I just don't get it....what am I missing?

    The same could be said for anyone else on this board. Not everyone has a great c-section experience, though, and it doesn't mean they love their children any less.

    Mine wasn't terrible, but it wasn't something I wanted to do again if there was another way for me to give birth that had less risks and a shorter recovery time. And considering something like 10% of women in the US do VBAC, I'm not sure why you're thinking there's "so much emphasis" on it.

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

  • I don't think you're missing anything if you are happy with your first birth.  I didn't enjoy my c/s because the recovery sucked, I was in horrible pain immediately after the surgery (even with an epidural) and I did not like having to depend on someone else to help me do everything afterward.  I am looking to VBAC for a variety of reasons including what I feel are less risks for me and baby and a quicker recovery considering I will have 1.5 yr old to chase after.  
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  • imagecookingdude:

    Hi ladies....came across this board while prepping for #2. I had a C the first time, and unlike a lot of people (so it seems), was overjoyed. I never felt deprived, or felt like I didn't bond with my LO, or missed out on a life experience. The first time I heard LO cry and saw him for the first time was just awesome. My number one priority was a healthy baby, and that is all that was on my mind. How he was born wasn't all that important, as long as he and I were ok.

    As I get ready for #2, there is so much emphasis on a VBAC and having that "experience."  I just don't get it....what am I missing?

    You're not missing anything.  You don't have to want a VBAC or be upset that you had a c/s just because other people feel that way.  It's great that you had a good experience having a c/s.

    EVERYONE on here had a healthy baby as their number one priority.  That's why we all had cesareans.

    I'm not sure what you mean by "there is so much emphasis on VBAC."  VBACs are still widely banned by hospitals and doctors' offices across the US.  There is still a large number of people, including medical professionals, who believe that VBAC is crazy, dangerous and selfish despite mountains of evidence to the contrary.  Only 8% of women with a prior cesarean give birth by VBAC in the United States and the drop in VBACs is one of the big reasons behind the US cesarean rate rising every year for over a decade.  So obviously there are a lot of women in the US having repeat cesareans and many (most?) of them are happy with that decision.

    If you mean there is a lot of emphasis on VBAC on this board well, yeah.  It's the VBAC board. 

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  • imagenosoup4u:
    imagecookingdude:
    My number one priority was a healthy baby, and that is all that was on my mind.

    The same could be said for anyone else on this board. Not everyone has a great c-section experience, though, and it doesn't mean they love their children any less.

    True - probably why I agreed so quickly to the c/s the first time!

    I have many reasons for wanting a VBAC - one was that, despite the fact that he had no distress and good APGARs, I didn't get to touch DS until I'd been back in my hospital room and had waited for him for awhile there.  I don't really want to have to try and keep my spirits up again alone in recovery by focusing on the fact that I was a mother now, even though the entire experience left me feeling like an inactive partner in his birth and somewhat unchanged.  

    That's one of many reasons - some perhaps are more selfish than others, but overall, it is important for me to give myself the best shot possible at a VBAC, while doing what is best for both me and this LO.

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  • obviously nothing if you liked your experience.

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  • My section was great too - I didn't want it, but the recovery was generally pretty easy.

    I'd just prefer to avoid another surgery and be faced with the recovery time now that I have a toddler - I want to be able to get out and about quickly and be able to drive. Plus, I think a vaginal delivery is better for every one involved, if it goes well.

    I'm not opposed to a repeat C, but I'd like to try for a VBAC.

  • imagecookingdude:

    Hi ladies....came across this board while prepping for #2. I had a C the first time, and unlike a lot of people (so it seems), was overjoyed. I never felt deprived, or felt like I didn't bond with my LO, or missed out on a life experience. The first time I heard LO cry and saw him for the first time was just awesome. My number one priority was a healthy baby, and that is all that was on my mind. How he was born wasn't all that important, as long as he and I were ok.

    As I get ready for #2, there is so much emphasis on a VBAC and having that "experience."  I just don't get it....what am I missing?

    I agree with what everyone else said, if you were happy and had a good recovery then that is great!  But I want to add that a big driving factor for me was that because my son was born via c/s he was not healthy.  I whole-heartedly believe that had he been born vaginally, or come on his own time at least, he would have been healthy.  I wanted a VBAC because I wanted a healthy baby.

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  • I agree with all the pp, your not missing anything. I never wanted my c/s but like everyone else my first priority was to have a healthy baby. The experiance of my c/s was horrifiying for me. I had to be put under because my epi did not work. Coming out I wasnt breathing well. My DH and I chose to be team green, it was 4 hours after my c/s that I found I had a baby girl. She had already been held and cuddled by everyone in our family. (Family was called and told I was in labor, when I had troubles my DH called our parents they came right there) That being said I had a perfect recovery. Heck I was out shopping 3 days after my c/s. I had no major complications, just an allergy to the seri strips that was it.

    My reasons for wanting to VBAC are simple, I am terrified of having to be put under again. I want to be able to hold my baby with in minutes even seconds of giving birth not hours. I want to hear the doctor or my husband say.... Its A...and the babies gender. I want to be the first person to hold my baby along with my DH. Lastly I want a large family, it might not happen with ERCS. I want to be able to hold, pick up and play with my daughter when I come home with her new brother or sister.

    I am new at this whole VBAC thing, but one thing I have come to realize is that no matter how you give birth whether is vaginally for the first time or 10th time, c/s, ERCS or VBAC there is always a possiability for complications. What it boils down to is what risks you are willing to take.

  • I am a lurker here on this board but a lurker who wants to try for a VBAC with this new pregnancy.

    Briefly, with my first baby I planned for a natural birth.  Didn't happen due to severe pre-eclampsia/HELLPS at the very end of my pregnancy.  Ended up with an emergency c under general anesthetic.  Woke up a mess in a recovery room.  Didn't see my child for over 2 hours post-partum but everyone else did!  Couldn't nurse for a day.  Was a groggy, drugged-up heap for a day afterwards.  Hated the recovery time!

    Yes they saved my life & yes I had a beautiful, healthy boy for which I was/am eternally grateful for but I was heartbroken by the circumstances of his birth.  I felt like my body had failed me, my confidence was temporarily shattered &I actually went through a long grieving process for the birth I didn't get.

    Almost five years on I am pregnant again & am ready to try for my VBAC for all the above reasons that I don't care to repeat.  At the same time I have to be realistic & open to whatever may happen inc a repeat C-sec.  But at least this time I feel I will be more prepared & open to whatever unexpected stuff arises.

    To answer your question, I don't think you missing anything! I would totally agree with the other ladies who say if you were happy with your first experience by all means go for a repeat. Good luck with your new baby Smile

  • I did have a good (even a great) c/s experience with DD, even though it was sort of an emergency c/s (I always knew it was a possibility given that I am diabetic).

    However, with DS, I was very hopeful for a VBAC, because I really wanted to experience contractions/labor. Even if I was to have a repeat c/s, I was hopeful I'd go into labor on my own first.

    That didn't happen, and I had a scheduled c/s. I still wish I had the chance to experience labor, even though my c/s experience was just fine.

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