Is this appropriate behavior for a 5 year old boy?

lizard76

My 4 y.o. DS demands things as well--I think it's totally normal for his age.  However, as many others have said, I do correct the behavior.  I either give him the "evil eye" until he realizes he needs to ask and say please or I directly say, "Is that a nice way to talk to me?"

EMT

Not how I'd want my 5 year old to act; but they certainly do not act appropriately all the time. I would have been less confrontational with my correction of him if I were you and if I were the parent, I would have corrected him also. BUT, you got the side-eye because your response was inappropriate for an adult.

I have to admit though sometime I have to refrain from responding with "sass" when mine are being sassy/demanding. I think I come off as just mean (not helpful) when I respond that way.

P.G.&A.M.

I do think there are times where 5 y.o. will still need reminders about their manners. Also by asking, "What do you want me to do about it?" you got a typical 5 y.o. direct response. They don't get thinly veiled requests for manners. You have to be more direct and say, "I would be glad to help you tie your shoes if you can ask nicely and use the word please." I bet then you would have gotten what you were asking for rather indirectly. I am a bit surprised the mom didn't help correct her son, and there may be a part of the problem.

summerbrideDC

BubblyToes:

Zenya:

Anyway, I don't see what's wrong with disagreeing with aspects of a person's culture.  There are creepy/distasteful elements in all cultures.  It's all very subjective.

to me saying that a child is completely submissive/bowing their heads before they can speak is odd.  whatever.  

Exactly.

Treating women like second class citizens is standard procedure in some cultures.  That doesn't make it right.  And that doesn't make me a bad person for thinking that's hideous.

IMO, there are aspects of most cultures that are antiquated and humiliating.

This.   

KRISTA555

P.G.&A.M.:

I do think there are times where 5 y.o. will still need reminders about their manners. Also by asking, "What do you want me to do about it?" you got a typical 5 y.o. direct response. They don't get thinly veiled requests for manners. You have to be more direct and say, "I would be glad to help you tie your shoes if you can ask nicely and use the word please." I bet then you would have gotten what you were asking for rather indirectly. I am a bit surprised the mom didn't help correct her son, and there may be a part of the problem.

Absolutely this. You asked a direct question, and he gave you a direct answer. I don't understand how his answer was rude. He's 5.  He's not going to read between the lines.

grja

I'd be mortified if my child acted like that. Even at 3.5, I'd expect more manners. As a parent I'd correct him.I do not agree with how you handled it though. Just not my style, so I'd probably give you the stink eye too.

My nephew lacks manners to put it nicely and his parents never correct him. I find that they get very defensive when you're too blunt about it because to them the behavior is perfectly normal. I can't tell you how many times I hear the excuse "he's just a boy" or "he's just being a kid". And that automatcially makes it ok in their eyes. So I now try to diffuse the situation. I'll just say "what's the magic word" in a joking/friendly tone and try to get my point across that way. Or I'll try to teach at the same time (show him how to tie the shoe and encourage him to do it himself). Doesn't always work but it keeps the peace.

adri77

Baby4OT:

brideonoct1:

Why was it ok for YOU to be rude to him? You model the behavior you want to see (and receive). You're the adult. Your answer to him was mean.

This.

Was he the picture of politeness? No, of course not. He's FIVE. Should he have been corrected? Yes, but not by snidely asking him what you should do about it. You were equally rude and immature to him. I'm sure that's why you got the WTF look. I would have given it to you too. Had you said, "How do you ask nicely?" to my child I wouldn't have batted an eye and would have been totally fine with it. You could have made your point a lot better to him that way.

I'm really late on this, but this, exactamundo.  I can't STAND when other people (other than CLOSET friends, grandparents, my sister) discipline my kids or speak to them in the way OP described speaking to this 5 year old.  BUT, if like this poster said, the correction was made in a more gentle manor, I wouldn't bat an eye either and would be thankful for the help in the manners lesson.