when to admit defeat?

welshgirl

I'll preface this by saying that nothing is definite yet. I meet with the consultant OB on Friday after my 36 week growth scan to assess and make final decisions.

I had my 36 week MW appointment today. Up until today there were no signs of DD being big - my fundal heights have been right on target. Growth u/s show that she has a big tummy, but normal everything else for her dates. My plan has been a vbac. But today my MW said to prepare myself for the possibility that I won't be allowed one. (I should also say here that I'm in a system of socialised healthcare - great, but not a lot of optoin - not that I'd nec want to change last minute anyway.)

She then went on to say that I apparently have a narrow, boyish pelvis (news to me, but she knows I suppose, esp in this context) and said that that was a contributing facgtor to my failure to progress e/c/s last time. That compounded with a bigger baby (even if she's wrong, second babies are often bigger), and the fact that DD is currently back-to-back (posterior) witha  transverse head*, she just doesn't think it's likely. Of course nothing is definite, and she said to just talk to the OBs, but the rest of the appointment was focused on how to prepare for an elective c/s.

So my question - obviously pending my consultation with the OB, is how much do you fight for this, and when do you admit defeat? I was only ever allowed a 'trial' of labour anyway. MW thinks there's room for maneouvre re: when they'd want to schedule an e/c/s - but was vague about them letting me go into labour naturally, and then going into a c/s. I'm basically handed over to the OBs now I'm not only a vbac, but now possibly a r/c/s..

* Just to say, she and I both know baby's position now mean nothing; baby is high. But it's too similar to how DS was at this stage, and he remained posterior throughout labour, getting wedged with his head transverse at 8cm.

margeincharge2

I know less than the other ladies on here since I didn't labor at all but I don't see anything in here that screams to me "you can't even try to deliver vaginally." Even for big babies, why can't a vbac mom try to deliver? Did she say why that was a problem? Also, those measurements aren't always accurate either. Lastly, I'm obviously no doctor but I don't see why your c/s was relate to your supposedly narrow pelvis.

I don't know. I think there are a lot of unknowns here for your mw to throw in the towel and say you're a repeat c/s. Good luck! I hope it works out for you.

papagena

margeincharge2:

I don't know. I think there are a lot of unknowns here for your mw to throw in the towel and say you're a repeat c/s. Good luck! I hope it works out for you.

This.  I guess I don't know how much the different HC system will affect your chances, but the narrow pelvis, from what I've understood, is incredibly difficult to correctly diagnose from just external evaluations, and it does widen with hormones & labor, so I'm always very wary of that one.  

I'd look into spinningbabies.com - posterior positions are more difficult to birth & labor with, from what I understand.  C&P from spinningbabies:

"Head size is less important when it comes to fitting through the pelvis than is the angle of the baby's head. A posterior baby will present a bigger head circumference and can sometimes get stuck in a pelvis that the same baby could have fit through if anterior."

Every little bit helps!  I'd personally try to adjust LO's position and fight to still have your TOL.   Best of luck with whatever you choose!

welshgirl

Thanks ladies. She did say to dig out my birthing ball (which I need to nag DH about) and hope for the best. I guess it depends on how much I trust her, and what the OBs say.

I think the kicker for me was that she essentially doesn't think I'll be successful with a vbac, that I can try, but it may be just a waste of time and energy. And I don't know if it's possible to prove her wrong.

papagena

welshgirl:

I think the kicker for me was that she essentially doesn't think I'll be successful with a vbac, that I can try, but it may be just a waste of time and energy. And I don't know if it's possible to prove her wrong.

I understand - my first OB you kind of got the impression at my 12 wk app't that she didn't really think it was possible.  So frustrating and disheartening to have a provider like that. 

 

hollywoodgirl311

I may sound a bit silly but in times like this I try to remember how women gave birth for thousands of years, to babies of all sizes, in all positions, ect...

Spinning babies really does help though, my DD was transverse at 34 weeks and I would do exercises and stretches to turn her.  It worked!  I felt it as it happened and though I was sore for a few days, it was wonderful.  Don't loose hope on the positioning part.

As for the size, how big are they thinking the baby will be? My second born was only 1 ounce larger than DS, so second babies are not always huge compared to the first.  

DD was also very high at the end of the pregnancy, I was only 1/2cm dilated before my water broke at home as well.  The key I believe is staying active in labor, walking, using the ball and things to bring the baby down. Going natural made it possible to keep working on it.  It took a while (15 hrs total labor) but I went from 7-10cm in 30 mins and pushed for less than half an hour, it can all change that fast You can do it!

welshgirl

Thanks ladies.

I think the thing about spinning babies that I wonder about is how useful it is. From everything I've read, it's less useful pre-labour for 2nd+ time mums.

I did actually ahve a good consultants/OB appointment on Friday. She's only measuring 6lb 6oz (so pretty much on target for 36-37 weeks), and they were fairly encouraging about things - not quite so totalitarian in their guidelines...