To answer all of the "do I qualify for this board?" queries

ColindaP

the 6 month mark is not some magical number that must be met. When we started this board, we wanted a place to go to not deal with goats and bazillions of bfp posts. Some of us who pushed for this are habitual aborters, some had stillbirths or late losses, some were dealing with the double whammy of loss and if. We were a jaded, broken down, psychologically scarred group of women who didn't have the energy left to make friends with new people on the board, who wuld almost certainly be there for a cycle or two before getting like zomg totes preggers. We didn't have the patiece or energy to answer "how long should I wait to ttc?" "did the fact that I snezed at 2am cause my temp rise?" and "how many dpo should I test?"

we're war-hardened veterans. We're tired,we're stressed, and we're sick of the universe knocking us down.

if that rings true for you, well, that's what this board is for.

rjl07

 

By the way,  how are you?  I haven't seen you much, but that could be because work has drastically cut down my 6+ time. 

Gummybear

I think that is a great explanation. I am 100% certain I fit in here, mostly because I am...tired.

It's not so much about pain for me, it's about the complete apathy about posts like, 'Why X month will be great to get my BFP or deliver!! YAY!!". I just can't talk about that stuff. I don't get excited about waiting for x dpo to test. I hate talking about mind fetus or sighns. I just can't pretend I care anymore. No hard feelings for anyone, I just can't do it.

I probably would have fit in here right from the start actually. There is a reason I never had a "TTCAL Buddy". I don't think I need to explain why.

rjl07

Sounds like you'll fit in here just fine...and having more Philly girls around is always a good thing.

Gummybear

rjl07:

Sounds like you'll fit in here just fine...and having more Philly girls around is always a good thing.

Are you a football fan? Bye week s_ucks!

rjl07

I have season tickets - so yes!  I'm kind of enjoying the bye today since DH actually suggested going out for brunch which never, ever happens.  I haven't left the couch since we got home!

Gummybear

Mmmm, brunch. I haven't been in forever.

That's fun that you have season tickets. I haven't been to a game in a couple years, and I always have such a good time!

rjl07

My dad has had the seats forever but he quit going during the Kotite years and now he lives in FL.  So our group has 6 tix, but just one is mine.  We have a pretty good sized tailgate so it's a great time.

Gummybear

KOTITE! Blast from the past.

Hey, I see in your siggie you are starting IVF. I did 5 cycles at Abington. Where are you cycling? if you don't want to say I totally understand

Clerk9

Amen, Colinda.  Couldn't have said it any better, as usual.    

Clerk9

P.S.  Go NY Football Giants.  

rjl07

That's an excellent question - probably Abington actually.  I was hoping to participate in their clinical trial, but I probably won't pass the screening because I had 2 cysts when I went last week on CD3.  I'm still waiting to hear the official no though.  I did my IUI's at Penn and was considering a second opinion when I heard about the study.  Now I'm going to be all OOP so I was considering Crozer because they have incredible packages, but I really don't want to start with another doctor at this point.  Abington has an office in Paoli now so I think I'm just going to go there. 

Gummybear

Oh I remember reading about your study! They are really great there. I am sorry about the cysts I do hope it works out. If not I feel like you'd be in good hands if you decide to stay OOP. Ask about donated meds. When I closed the book on IVF I donated a ton of Follistim and some other stuff. I know they have "a closet".

Also, when I was reading your posts about the study I thought you might be with Dr. Check. He runs a lot of studies. My SIL got her IVFs fully covered when she entered in a study with him. It was something about progesterone, and she got 2 free cycles and conceived her DD on the second one (and now she is pg with a 2 under 2 miracle oops baby). I think he is at Cooper?

Either way, GOOD LUCK!

rjl07

Check is at Cooper - one of my friends swears by him and begged me to go see him.  It wasn't really convenient to go over there, but it probably isn't much further than Abington actually.  I'm going to look and see if he has anything going on now.

That's great to know about the meds.  I'll have to check that out.  Thanks!

CashewsMommy

Clerk9:

P.S.  Go NY Football Giants.  

Yes!!!!

And to Colindas post, this is the perfect place for me then! Thank you for having me.

csquared426

Well put.

b2b999

Wow, okay this makes it official, I'm coming over here, because if there is any words that I could use to describe it is "I'm tired," and I really am. I've actually considered not coming here anymore because every time I see a BFP wave or countdowns to testing it just makes me so very frustrated that once again its not me, won't be me, can't possibly be me. 

So if you'll have me, I'll be here.  

damabo80

Gummybear:

P>There is a reason I never had a "TTCAL Buddy". I don't think I need to explain why.

Word. If I had a buddy, I would want them to be an IFer...hard to find on the regular board. But primarily, I was/am afraid of being the one "buddy" left behind. Plus, I didn't want to stuff my siggy anymore. It's quite full as-is

jillcanada

We're tired - CHECK - We're stressed - CHECK, and we're sick of the universe knocking us down DOUBLE CHECK

Definitely rings true...Thanks for having me...I'm trying to support others on TTCAL (hence the buddies, but I'm a terrible buddy), but when November is the perfect month to conceive, then I have to bang my head against a wall. How about any month is a perfect month to conceive.

JuJuBe3

Major for this post Colinda. 

For me, it had a lot to with where I was in my personal journey of TTC.  I was ready to bite off the heads of many posters on TTCAL.  It was hard to see BFPs for people who'd been on the board for 6 weeks.  It was never about my 'friends' moving over or 'knowing more people over here'.  JMO.

 

butterfly843

Great post Colinda, you can always put what I'm feeling in perfect wording.

ColindaP

Gummybear:

It's not so much about pain for me, it's about the complete apathy about posts like, 'Why X month will be great to get my BFP or deliver!! YAY!!". I just can't talk about that stuff. 

And when I'm not apathetic, I'm gleefully answering that question with misery and gloom, saying that if I got pg in November, it'd be awesomesauce that I'd miscarry on time to be able to get drunk on my bday in January. 

dondraandluis

Well said!

Olive44

   Very well said as usual.  I agree with all of the above. 

AutumnLeavesFall

Very well said.

I am also tired, and I am bitter I guess, because it took so long the first time to finally gett KU, that posts that says "OMG it's been 2 cycles of TTC & no line yet I'm so frustrated" I want to rip my hair out and scream.

Jill your a good buddy.

jillcanada

AutumnLeavesFall:

Very well said.

I am also tired, and I am bitter I guess, because it took so long the first time to finally gett KU, that posts that says "OMG it's been 2 cycles of TTC & no line yet I'm so frustrated" I want to rip my hair out and scream.

Jill your a good buddy.

Thanks, Amye. And if I ripped my hair out every time I felt this way I'd have no hair left.

michrocc

You rock my socks, Colinda.

hbkises

Gummybear:

I think that is a great explanation. I am 100% certain I fit in here, mostly because I am...tired.

It's not so much about pain for me, it's about the complete apathy about posts like, 'Why X month will be great to get my BFP or deliver!! YAY!!". I just can't talk about that stuff. I don't get excited about waiting for x dpo to test. I hate talking about mind fetus or sighns. I just can't pretend I care anymore. No hard feelings for anyone, I just can't do it.

I probably would have fit in here right from the start actually. There is a reason I never had a "TTCAL Buddy". I don't think I need to explain why.

wow, did you ever just completely sum up my feelings perfectly

CarrieLeigh84

Colinda is so good with explaining these things. She's awesome.May I also add that if I see someone come over here 2 months post loss whining about how "tired" they are, I may just punch them in the throat?

 

 

Court1

Made up example of why some of us just can't handle TTCAL anymore....

Zomg, I just had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago & I experienced EWCM (eww gross!!) 2 weeks ago & think I ovulated.  DH & I did, um, you know, the "baby dance" three times.  Now I'm having sore boobs and total food aversion.  Do you guys think I'm preggers????

Clerk9

But, just to clear up any possible misconceptions, we don't JUST b*tch & get frustrated & bitter over here.  There are many supportive, kind, silly, fun times as well.  And you'd be hard pressed to find a more positive reaction to a BFP than over here.  

These ladies totally get my dark & down times.  But they're also my biggest cheerleaders.    

You guys are the best!!!   

grr_aargh

ColindaP:

Gummybear:

It's not so much about pain for me, it's about the complete apathy about posts like, 'Why X month will be great to get my BFP or deliver!! YAY!!". I just can't talk about that stuff. 

And when I'm not apathetic, I'm gleefully answering that question with misery and gloom, saying that if I got pg in November, it'd be awesomesauce that I'd miscarry on time to be able to get drunk on my bday in January. 

Slugs.  Habitual Aborting is just such a total mindfvck. 

Also, excellent original post.    

grr_aargh

Clerk9:

But, just to clear up any possible misconceptions, we don't JUST b*tch & get frustrated & bitter over here.  There are many supportive, kind, silly, fun times as well.  And you'd be hard pressed to find a more positive reaction to a BFP than over here.  

These ladies totally get my dark & down times.  But they're also my biggest cheerleaders.    

You guys are the best!!!   

Amen.

Chances are good that there will be tears with nearly every BFP on this board - tears, and anxiety, and hand-holding, and support, and individual pain expressed in the most supportive, loving, and understanding ways.

I love this place for its acknowledgement of the complexity of our responses to TTCAL. 

EntropicEpona

ColindaP:

Gummybear:

It's not so much about pain for me, it's about the complete apathy about posts like, 'Why X month will be great to get my BFP or deliver!! YAY!!". I just can't talk about that stuff. 

And when I'm not apathetic, I'm gleefully answering that question with misery and gloom, saying that if I got pg in November, it'd be awesomesauce that I'd miscarry on time to be able to get drunk on my bday in January. 

If I had a penis, it'd be so fvcking hard right now.

EntropicEpona

ColindaP:

Gummybear:

It's not so much about pain for me, it's about the complete apathy about posts like, 'Why X month will be great to get my BFP or deliver!! YAY!!". I just can't talk about that stuff. 

And when I'm not apathetic, I'm gleefully answering that question with misery and gloom, saying that if I got pg in November, it'd be awesomesauce that I'd miscarry on time to be able to get drunk on my bday in January. 

If I had a penis, it'd be so fvcking hard right now.

surfergirlkona

EntropicEpona:

ColindaP:

Gummybear:

It's not so much about pain for me, it's about the complete apathy about posts like, 'Why X month will be great to get my BFP or deliver!! YAY!!". I just can't talk about that stuff. 

And when I'm not apathetic, I'm gleefully answering that question with misery and gloom, saying that if I got pg in November, it'd be awesomesauce that I'd miscarry on time to be able to get drunk on my bday in January. 

If I had a penis, it'd be so fvcking hard right now.

 

::dies::

This whole thread sums it up.