Parenting
Does anyone NOT do Santa
if so, what do you tell your children about him? What do you tell them in terms of other children who do believe (in terms of not spoiling it for them)?
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Re: Does anyone NOT do Santa
omg- seriously? you don't want a fantasy figure stealing your credit for christmas presents?
that is so very lame...
***snort***
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
oh sweet Jesus.
OMG BOF (you will always be BOF to me), I am so glad you posted this b/c I felt the same way. I totally understand people of other religions but if your religion is cool with Santa let your kids enjoy it, it is part of childhood.
right?! We want Xmas to come w/ a healthy dose of guilt and obligatory gratitude!
You read my mind.
Oh, for 's sake...
ETA: I guess you can't sayfuck.
Well, my husband and I are very religious. I don't like how Christmas has become about what you got and not what you give.
DH and I plan on telling LO that Santa Claus is a character based off of a saint who lived long ago and gave his wealth to the needy. That Christmas and Santa are about the spirit of giving. I don't like the idea of teaching her that some man in a red suit comes into your home when you are sleeping to leave gifts. I don't want DD to be one of those kids who can recognize Santa but not Jesus (or what we think Jesus looked like).
This post gets better and better. Here is a shocker, my DD who is 4 knows that Christmas is a holiday to celebrate the birth of Jesus, she knows why we celebrate it, and the main religious point of it, but we also do Santa. We are strong Christians and firmly believe in teaching our children the true meaning of any holiday that does not mean that we have to take the fun out of the holiday itself. We can still celebrate the magic of Santa and the Easter while instilling the importance of these holidays in the Christian religion. I will never understand those who don't think they can do both?
We plan to do a sort of "minimalist Santa" deal. As she grows up, we'll probably give 1 gift from Santa, the rest from us. I'm not into taking her to the mall to get her pic taken with Santa, or having her make a list of things she wants. The thing that doesn't sit right with me about Santa is that it becomes all about getting. I remember as a kid making long, greedy lists and then being disappointed when I didn't think I got "enough" of the items from it. That's just a spirit of greed that I don't want to foster in my kid(s). (Obviously many families that do Santa do teach their children that it's better to give than to receive, teach about the real St. Nicholas, etc.)
Also, I don't want her to be confused about what Christmas is really about. For our family, it's all about the birth of Jesus-not Santa or gifts.
Yes because Christmas is all about YOU and not your children or the magic they find in Santa. My BIL (who is a total douche) believes this too. It is an amazing weird train of thought to have to have your kids know that presents are from you and not Santa, I really honestly don't get it.
And that's great for you. But I don't believe in telling my child about some made up man who goes around giving gifts to only some children and then making up lies as to why other children (different religion, too poor, etc) don't. I don't think I'm taking anything away from her. She'll still get nice gifts and give presents to others.
I didn't want this to turn into a debate. I'm asking what others tell their children so they don't spoil it for kids who do believe.
Funny thing is other than the man in the big red suit we have never had to lie about anything else. She spends a lot of her own money every holiday season buying kids who can't afford gifts, doing shoeboxes for overseas, etc. It just really bothers me when people don't do santa in the name of Christ. I am living proof that it can be done, and done well without losing the meaning of the holiday.
To the PP's who are outraged at the idea of people not encouraging their children about Santa-- I understand what you're saying, but you're implying that they only way children are going to find Christmas to be magical, fun, exciting, etc., is if they believe in Santa, and that by not doing Santa, parents are being selfish or something. That's silly.
In my childhood, I don't ever remember believing in Santa. I don't think my parents did this intentionally, but my guess is that 3 older siblings probably told me at a very young age that he isn't real. Regardless, there was never any disappointment for me, because I never believed in him to begin with. My parents would write "From, Santa" on several of the presents, but I always knew in my head that they were from my parents.
But, Christmas was AMAZING for me as a child!! We had so many family traditions and family activities each year. Christmas morning was very exciting, and we had a blast opening our presents that said they were from "Mom&Dad". I still absolutely LOVE Christmas. Not having "Santa" memories doesn't mean anything to me.
Our DD is only 4 months, so we obviously don't have to worry about this yet. I'm not sure what we'll do. DH never grew up with Santa because his folks were very poor and there were several Christmases that they didn't receive anything. And I already told you my history.
My guess is that we'll do like what the PP said and deflect by asking "Do YOU think Santa is real?" and we'll go from there.
To each their own.
I do have to also agree.
To the OP you say you are not taking anything away from her, and she will still get gifts, but Santa is about so much more than that. It is the magic of the holiday spirit, it is fun and kilds love it. So IMO you are taking something away. I get if it is a religious thinisg (jewish), but I just don't understand why you can' t keep the holidays Christ cenetered with Santa.
To answer your origional question, I don't know how you will explain to your DD that her friends at her church believe one thing and she believes another without telling her that her friends parents are liars.
we'll have to agree to disagree. I don't see an issue with telling her that Santa is about the spirit of giving. I don't remember really caring about getting gifts from Santa. I had four older siblings and knew it was my mom getting gifts and that's why I never got anything big (we were poor). Christmas was my favorite holdiay growing up and still is... Without Santa.
I looked up the post even though it was last year--here is what the women who grew up with no Santa said:
My parents refused to let me feed into the whole Santa thing so I grew up w/o Santa. In the scheme of things, maybe it wasn't a great loss on my part, but how I envied my friends who boasted about their Santa visits and presents. W/o parental prompting, I knew better than to share my "extraordinary knowledge".
When I brought this subject of not doing Santa up to my husband, he was utterly horrified to even entertain such a notion. Santa played a HUGE part in his childhood Xmases. His prime concern was fear that our girls would feel left out, as I did.
Seriously, as mentioned above, not the end of all things to grow up w/o Santa. But if I had a choice, goodness how much I would've loved to have known Santa!
That's HER experience.
I grew up without Santa and I loved, and still love, Christmas. I do not feel jipped AT ALL. My Christmases growing up were full of fun, traditions, family, and yes, magic.
Santa is not absolutely necessary to have a magical, exciting, fun Christmas.
And BTW, I think some of you guys are making too much of what the child will say to their friends. I had several friends who believed in Santa, and even at a young age, I knew that some kids do, some kids don't. I never spoiled it for my friends, and I never felt left out.
We do Santa. When I was a kid, we used to have a big block party every year Santa would show up and give every kid on the street a gift (parents provided obviously). It was awesome and among some of my best childhood memories. It's not the gifts I remember it was being together with great family and friends, singing songs and meeting Santa, etc. This never took away from the meaning of the holiday.
Can you have this type of experience without Santa? Sure, but why would you want to? Not doing Santa makes a bigger deal out of it than it is in my opinion. I just don't see the harm especially when they are so young. I don't think they really understand the "real meaning" of Christmas anyway when they are young. Santa or no santa, they probably have a very limited understanding of the whole holiday and what it's really about is spending quality time with friends and family. And it's not like they will believe forever.
We are doing Santa, we will go all out. I will get different wrapping paper and DD will sit on Santa's knee. When DD is older I will have my uncle call her and tell her that he just gave Santa a speeding ticket, just like he did for me when I was a kid. (Uncle is a police officer.) Every year DD and I will bake special cookies for Santa and put veggies out for his reindeer.
This was the magic of Christmas that I remember as a kid, it has some of my best memories and I want DD's Childhood to be the same. We will also celebrate mass in honor of Jesus and give to thoes in need. It is all about balance. We don't need to make Santa about just the gifts he gives.
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
ok...and this is why christmas has become the over-commercialized holiday that it has become...it is NOT about gifts, my husbands family are religious and they do it the way we are doing it...as the oldest child in a very poor family, i KNEW from jump what was up with christmas- and that was "santa doesnt come here" and the only reason is cuz we were poor...
there is no reason to have a commercialized holiday where kids get greedy, make big lists, get disappointed about their "loot", and get jealous over friends that got better stuff from "santa"...
its not about us wanting credit, its about raising kids who are appreciative, i am SO sick of seeing kids who think they are entitled to things jsut cuz they want them, that "santa" will bring it to them, and not know what it is to have the nice and fun things because you have to work for them...
we do not really do christmas other than one gift from santa because it seems like you put on this huge production of lying to your kids about where the gifts come from, you go into debt trying to make it "good" for them...and you forget that its about family and all that...i would much rather be able to spend time with family and have a good time than teach my kids to be spoiled and ungrateful
I understand this is quite the heated topic. we do do the Santa thing... but if the question ever comes up who buys the gifts, I will not lie. I'll explain the tradition and story behind it... it hasn't come up. I have friends, both Christian and not, who do the santa thing and others who do not... we live in a diverse city with a number of children of different faiths... I'm sure the question will pop up eventually. I'm not sure what the best solution would be for you depending on your child's age, I'd continue to do as the pp stated ... ask the question back and see what the child thinks. if you do give a gift for Christmas and your child asks why Santa gives some children gifts and not her... I'd maybe explain the story of St Nick/Santa Claus and that many families continue the tradition. I'd ask my child to not spoil it for their families as this is what they enjoy... and maybe answer the what did Santa give you question with, "I got x for Christmas".
We're facing something similar right now... dd's bff is christian, but her family does not celebrate holidays or birthdays. (they are not Jehovah's Witnesses... but a nondenominational type that does not celebrate these things). I've explained to dd that bff and her family do not celebrate the halloween like we do and that is okay. I'll let you know this Christmas how the Santa thing plays out... but I'm sure they talk about it school .. there are a number of Jewish children in the private preschool. Their holiday program consists of patriotic songs, preschool songs, christmas songs, hanukkah songs and kawanza songs... they just do a variety.
I don't see anything wrong with a family choosing to not do the Santa thing. I have one friend whose daughter was terrified last Christmas at the thought of a man coming into their house and dropping off gifts. she asked if he could leave it out on the porch... and then pleaded to sleep with her parents that night. Other friends state they will not lie to there kids (they don't do the easter bunny or the tooth fairy either). that's their bit... not mine. I don't get the flames and gasps over a family doing something different... it's really not as odd as you think.
Santa =/= greedy little assh0le kids
Trust, kids who have parents who let them act like greedy entitled sh*ts will be greedy entitled sh*ts w/ or w/out the fat man in a red suit.
We're Catholic, and we do Santa. It's possible to separate the holiday and it's also possible to enjoy the magic of Santa w/out making your kids into jerks. Novel, I know.
Funny, I manage to give my kids a good Christmas every, don't go into debt because I pay cash for everything and gasp, we still spend the day with family and my kids are neither spoiled nor ungrateful. Shocking I know.
I'm not going to sit here and talk down to/about people who don't do the whole Santa thing but to say that those of us who do are teaching our kids to be spoiled and ungrateful is asinine.
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I think many of you are taking this post the wrong way.
who cares what this person chooses for her family? she's not passing judgement on you for choosing to do the whole Santa thing. I read these replies and it's one after another passing judgement on how wrong she is for not giving her child this magic that must only come from pretending Santa exists. That's just wrong, people.
not everyone does the Santa thing... not everyone celebrates Christmas... some for religious reasons, others not. Who cares? She's asking how to reply to questions from her child so that her child doesn't spoil things for families like yours. how about help? She could be one of those people who just tells her child that you are flat out wrong and lying to your child... but that's not what she wants. anyone with a constructive answer?
anyone?
Well said! I can't understand why everyone's jumping down OP's throat.
if it were to come up, i would simply say that some families celebrate things in a different way, and to tell our kids that they are to accept how others celebrate...it is ok to be different- we dont do the bunny or the tooth fairy either, lol
Personally, I wasn't going to respond to this post because I have no advice, but I couldn't resist after the Santa makes kids entitled and people go into debt post. Sometimes threads get hijacked by a post w/in. It happens.
I couldn't care less if people celebrate Santa or not - I just happen to disagree that somehow SANTA makes kids entitled. Pretty sure that even w/out Santa, kids will be entitled if their parents parent in a way that is conducive to that sort of attitude. It has nothing to do with the fat guy.
I agree with eclaires. It's not the concept behind the post, it's the insinuation that kids that grow up with Santa are spoiled, entitled brats. And that parents who do Santa bankrupt themselves doing so.
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
that post by jlewis was far below a number of what's wrong with giving your children the magic posts.... the op explained, from what I understand, that they prefer it be about Jesus, not Santa. I don't see what's so wrong about that. we blend the two in my house... I know people who are christian who don't even celebrate christmas b/c the date and many of the traditions are tied to a pagan holiday. that's their decision. I understand that posts get hijacked.. but there were plenty of nasty posts prior to the spoiled rotten we were poor post by jlewis (or whatever that person's sn was).