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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
Alright... Ask me anything
After reading guppy's post about same-sex couples with children I've come to realize that though my life feels very normal and mainstream for me, it's really not for most. I'm a completely open book. I always have been. Ask me anything. Whether it's about same-sex parenting, conceiving, adopting, etc. I'm always happy to expand understanding on all of the above 
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Re: Alright... Ask me anything
How did you two meet?
And, how do people know when another person is gay? I know people talk about 'gay-dar' - is it real? & Im sorry if this came out bad... =( I've always wondered about that.
(c) Holly Aprecio Photography - Oct 2011
this.
bwahahaha, love that movie
SO and I met in college. She came a year after me and we both ended up in the same dorm. We started hanging out when we started working together at the front desk of our dorm. Oddly enough I was in my final relationship with a guy, which wasn't working out for obvious reasons. After he and I broke up, SO and I became very close friends. It was becoming more clear that we had feelings for one another and we started kinda dating in March. We made it "official" that June. We've been together for 8 years
And gaydar... as ridiculous as it sounds, yes it totally exists. LOL. It's strange really. Do I automatically know every single gay person I encounter? No. Not even close, but there is a strange mental comfort when you are, as a gay person, are in the presence of another gay person. It's kinda hard to explain. You just kinda know.
No. In an effort to keep things less confusing then they already are, I am going by Mommy and SO is going by Momma. If C chooses to change that in the future and comes up with something that is more creative, we're open to it
LOL... Great movie!
I wondered this too...and what movie is being quoted?!?!
No. She does occasionally read it though. I get to have all the fun
40 Year Old Virgin! One of my fav lines, lol!
Happy Birthday, little man. We love you so much!
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I carried him with my egg and donor sperm. SO then adopted him.
I was wondering the same thing! And/or what would you have done if she wanted to also?
Happy Birthday, little man. We love you so much!
My favorite money saving tip: I've earned more than $300 in gift cards (Amazon, Starbucks, Southwest!) using SwagBucks for internet searching - and you can too! It's FREE and EASY!
:hangs head in shame: I can't believe I didn't get that one!
You know, as women, many if not most of us have a biological "need" to carry a child. It's something we just have within in us from birth. This is something that just isn't in her. She feels no physical, mental or emotional need to carry a child. She just doesn't want to do it. She's always wanted children, she just didn't want to carry them. It worked out well for us because I did.
I would have gladly handed over the reins for the second baby!
Will you use the same donor sperm for your next LO?
Ok I am curious as to what kinda of things you may say to your child when they start to realize that their friends have a mom and dad or male/female parents. How will you explain that?
I hope that doesn't sound offensive/snarky...I am honestly curious.
Yes. We have 3 vials frozen at our doctors office.
This is so great, thanks for being willing to be an open book for us *nosy* peeps! Very informative. DH and I are an interracial couple, and I was worried about how my family (white) would accept our biracial baby. My worries have now been put to rest, thank goodness. She is loved by all!
Do both of your familes accept each other and your LO? Does anyone get treated differently for being part of a "non-traditional" family? What about outside the family, have you ever had any snarky comments? If so, what was your response? I have yet to encounter any on my end, but I'm sure it will happen.
How much did it cost? the procedure? does it cost extra for storage of the extra vials? and how long did it take for you to get pregnant?
Not snarky or offensive. We have actually already started the process. When seeking fertility treatment our doctor required one visit with a psychologist. Her suggestion was to begin introducing the concept as early as possible as a bed time story. Every night before bed, we read DS a book called "Mommy, Mama, and Me". We will continue to be completely honest. We are going to explain that some little boys and girls have a mommy and a daddy. Some have two daddies and others have two mommies. We are going to help him understand that our family is just as normal as the families of his friends.
Does one of you work and one of you stay home? How did you decide that?
Both of our families are extremely accepting. We both have very large, everyone married 3x over families and each and every person is 100% behind us. We are very lucky! We've been fortunate. We have not ever received a comment in public. To be honest, I'm quite sure if I did hear a comment I would lose it! Thankfully that hasn't happened. I don't want DS to ever hear anything negative which is obviously impossible. Everyone has been quite supportive. It is kinda funny though. We've caught people off guard. We'll meet someone and they'll kindly ask whose son C is. When I say he's our son they get this puzzled look before it clicks. LOL They are always really nice about it!
I am so glad to hear that! No child should have to listen to anything negative about their family. And every child deserves an accepting extended family. We are fortunate that things are starting to change (as far as others being accepting of those that are different than them). Society still has a long way to go, but it is definitely better than it was even 10 years ago!
We both work full time. Had one of us been able to stay home, it would have been me. That is based on the fact that SO makes the money (I work in nonprofit so I make very little), and she carries our benefits. Plus, SO would go crazy if she couldn't work. She loves her job.
We are very lucky, our insurance covered the entire process start to finish. Had it not, it would have been somewhere between 5 and 10,000 dollars. The only cost we had to take on was the cost of the sperm. That was about $400 per vial. The storage is a set cost per year. I forget the exact amount, but somewhere around $100. Not bad. It took me 4 months, 2 cycles. I have PCOS so there were some issues to work though. It was easy considering. Again, we were lucky.
Absolutely! My step-sister is in an interracial relationship. She hasn't been so fortunate. My step-dad, her biological dad, is NOT accepting of her marriage at all. Strange because he's completely accepting of SO and I. He's incredibly prejudice. I can't stand him. I've never liked him and his views toward black people are part of the reason why. It's disgusting.
Ok just a few more questions:
What were your criteria for picking the donor? Did you want a certain race or color of hair etc?
And where the HECK did you get that stinking cute costume for C? where did you get pics taken of him? were they expensive?
We don't. We considered using a known donor. A friend of ours who is gay offered for us to use his sperm. We liked knowing who the person was and what they were about. In the end, we thought it would be best if we didn't add to the confusion. We want DS to know that we are his parents and that no one else is in the picture. With that said, we've saved all the information about the donor that we received from the sperm bank so he will know about the other half of his DNA. I guess we can't convince him that two women can make a baby for long LOL Kidding.
Would you have preferred to have a girl? I know that I did, but felt a little comfort in the fact that I do have DH to explain "boy things" whatever those might be ...
Kind of in the same vein, do you think it will be harder on Carter having 2 moms because he's a boy?
Choosing the donor was SO's job. She choose a donor who was a similar to her in male form as we could find. So, she started with the basics... hair color, eye color, race. From there she narrowed it down to two based on background, medical history, family medical history, interests, etc. We then choose the final donor together.
Thank you! It was from Babies R Us. I caught some crazy sale and it was under $20. We got the pictures done at Picture People. We purchase by the sheet so it's only expensive if we go crazy, which we usually do
I'm not gonna lie. There was a part of me that wanted a girl because I thought it may be easier. I'm actually kind of ashamed of that. Overall, I just wanted a healthy baby of course. The way I was able to kind of get rid of that thought was by the support of my family, in this case my two brothers. They love DS and have ever intention of helping him with anything we may fall short on.
Don't be ashamed about it, you can't help the way you feel! I wanted a second girl for way longer than I probably should have (think after DS was born even).
I think about this often with my mom being gay. Her and her partner have been together (they are actually legally married in the state of Vermont, even though Ohio doesn't recognize it, my mom's job does so my step-mom gets partner benefits.)
I have a very (almost unhealthy) attachment to my mom, and I love her partner more than I could ever express. I consider them to be my parents, and my dad is biological dad, but otherwise he's just kind of some "guy" I know.
That being said, I honestly pray that when LO is old enough that it won't be such a controversial thing. I pray that someone won't say something negative to him about him having two Grandma's. I know first hand how cruel kids can be about things that their parents have instilled in them that THEY don't agree with and I don't want LO to feel ashamed or even the tiniest bit hurt by what anyone else says about his Grandmothers.
[We call my mom Grandma, and her call her partner Grandma Mo.]