SAHM Poll/Question.... — The Bump
South Florida Babies

SAHM Poll/Question....

For those of you that are SAHM, what is DH's involvement in caring for LO & the household during the week?

Bath time? Storytime? Overnight feedings? Cleaning? Cooking? etc.

Sometimes I feel like I'd be selfish if I asked for more help with certain things during the week since Alexis is out of the house for 9 hours a day working. What do you and your DH split up if anything? Or do you just assume the role of the 1950's housewife and take care of everything with no complaints?

TIA!

TTC #1 May/June 2008
CP 7.19.08
Dx with PCOS 3.27.09
HSG 7.15.09 = All clear
8.09 & 9.09(re-try) IUI #1/2 - Clomid 100mg Follistim 150iu Ovidrel=cancelled due to cysts
10.09 IUI #1/2 - Clomid 100mg Follistim 150iu Ovidrel Crinone 8%=BFP!
22mm Follie / 60mil & 48mil post wash counts Beta #1 (14dpiui)= 102 Beta #2 (18dpiui)= 714 12.3.09 HB 135bpm

Our baby boy was born on 7.8.10 @ 38 weeks 2 days! 2:17pm 6lbs 8oz 20" long
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TTC #2
HSG 2.2013 - IUI 1/2, 3/4 = BFN - Took 4 month forced break
IUI 5/6 Clomid 150mg Follistim 150iu Ovidrel ( 11 & 15 mil post wash counts) = 2ww

Re: SAHM Poll/Question....

  • You will find as the baby gets bigger, the responsibilities dwindle a bit; meaning no more overnight feedings and such. I 'run the show' at my house. I get the boys ready for school, make lunches, clean the house, and prep dinner, all before 12 because thats when I pick up Alex (my older baby, lol). We alternate bath time and story time because we dont think of that as a chore but as quality time spent with the boys, so we try to do those things together as a family. I dont really ask for any help around the house at all. If I do it myself then I know that I dont have to worry if its been done according to how I want or like it done, lol, I'm a bit anal about my house =) My only complaint that I have to my hubs is one we had the other night, that sometimes if things dont get done on a certain day, instead of getting mad or upset that it didnt get done, offer to jump in and help. 
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  • In my opinion, just because we don't work outside the house does not mean we don't work.  I know that by the end of the day I'm EXHAUSTED!!!!!! So, when he gets home, I need help.  By the nature of DHs job, he travels a lot, so I spend a large amount of time alone which means that when he is home, I expect him to help.  When he's in town, DH takes care of bath time, we alternate putting her to bed.  I cook because I enjoy cooking, and he cleans up after.  We have a cleaning lady who handles most of the cleaning but I do the laundry that needs to be done. Like Lauren, I get alexis ready for school and make her lunch / snack, but he drops her off (again, when he's in town).

    As for feedings when she was a baby, I did the overnight feedings, but he would always do the last night feeding - 11 or 12 and let me go to sleep early, like at 9. He would also take the early morning feeding, 6 or 7am.  

     Now, we alternate weekends.  One of us gets up early with Alexis on saturday and the other gets up with her sunday, so that we can each have at least one day to sleep in.  

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  • I guess I am 1950's housewife....lol. 

    During the week, DH has very little involvement in the LO's or the household. He gets up, takes a shower and leaves for work, then doesn't return home until 6:00/6:30 in the evening. By that point I have already done a whole days worth of cleaning, laundry, errands, made dinner, and bathed both kids. Adrianna gets a bottle and goes to bed at 6:30.  Nicky eats dinner with us then plays with DH while I clean up. They either read togehter, play on the computer or watch TV. Then his bedtime is between 7:30/8:00.

    On the weekends, DH runs errands for me and fixes things around the house.  He also takes Nicholas out for lunch every Saturday for "guy time". He never cooks, cleans or does laundry though.  He never changes a diaper unless he absolutely has to, like if he is watching them while I am out of the house. He used to give Nicky a bath on the weekends, but that stopped when I started bathing Nicky and Adrianna together.  DH doesn't feel comfortable bathing her, which I underatand. A lot of times on the weekends he will just take Nicky in the shower with him though.

  • DH has been a hands-on dad since Day One, so I really can't complain. I try to take charge of more things around the house since I stay home with Carley, but we still both work as a team if something needs to get done. DH usually does the cooking (however, I've been jumping in more lately and try to have it done or at least started by the time he comes home). I'd say we split bathtime equally unless one of us is studying or working on something for school, then the one takes charge (we're both going to school). Nick is all about bedtime. He loves the "daddy & Carley" time he gets with her before she goes to bed -- reads her books (she takes advantage of him and brings him book after book until she's tired LOL! When Carley was still doing overnight feedings, I usually took the middle of the night feeding and DH would wakeup at 4 and give her a bottle (he usually wakes up at 5 for work). 

    Not sure how that measures up against what everyone else does, but it worked/works for us and Carley. 

  • I do all the laundry (not very well), some cooking, and some cleaning. Josh does bed and bath usually. If one of us is having a bad day then the other picks up the slack. It has been much harder since being pg I have not wanted to cook at all and I am at the point where I get tired so easily.
  • Well, I was a sahm, but DH was home at least 4 days out of the week, so our responsibilities were totally 50/50.  DH did the dishes and the vaccuuming, I would do the girls' laundry and cook dinner.  We both would dust and he would take care of the outside and I would take care of picking up the inside. 

    As for night time feedings, DH was AMAZING.  We would try to alternate the late night feedings or, like Leanna said, I would go to sleep early, he would doo all the feedings until around 4 am, and then I would take all the morning ones.  When he would come home from a 24 hour shift, he would send me off to take a nap for a few hours and then we'd switch- he'd nap for a few hours.  We work well together!!  We would alternate putting Abby to bed but, now that we have Sarah, he puts Abby to bed and I put Sarah to bed (since I never get see her much anymore.)

    I'm the antithesis of the 1950s housewife lol  Peter and I laugh that he's the one who should be wearing heels and pearls- I come home from work now and grab a beer while he's cooking dinner LOL  but we still try to do as much as we can 50/50

  • I have to add-  our story is a little different, since Peter is gone every 2 days for 24 hours straight.  He's also really well trained from work- he knows how to clean and cook really well!  It's part of his job at the station, so it carries over here.
  • image ANJ410:

    On the weekends, DH runs errands for me and fixes things around the house.  He also takes Nicholas out for lunch every Saturday for "guy time". He never cooks, cleans or does laundry though.  He never changes a diaper unless he absolutely has to, like if he is watching them while I am out of the house. He used to give Nicky a bath on the weekends, but that stopped when I started bathing Nicky and Adrianna together.  DH doesn't feel comfortable bathing her, which I underatand. A lot of times on the weekends he will just take Nicky in the shower with him though.

    because she's so little?  was he comfortable bathing nicky?  peter was weird bathing the girls in the beginning, he was afraid he was going to break them lol

  • DH works long hours (between 7a.m-8p.m) most of the time everything is done by the time he gets home.

    In Miami when I had school he would pick up the baby and take care of him. It really just depends on our current situation but basically "if mom is around, mom gets it done".

  • image MRS.IHEARTMIKE:

    It really just depends on our current situation but basically "if mom is around, mom gets it done".

    This. I think when J gets older, naturally your dh will help more just because the baby will be more active. But I think if you wanna ask, you should. If you're tired, you should ask him to do bedtimes or something. Dh helps me out a lot now, but when A was 3months, not so much---or at all I guess.

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  • image britishbride05:
    image ANJ410:

    On the weekends, DH runs errands for me and fixes things around the house.  He also takes Nicholas out for lunch every Saturday for "guy time". He never cooks, cleans or does laundry though.  He never changes a diaper unless he absolutely has to, like if he is watching them while I am out of the house. He used to give Nicky a bath on the weekends, but that stopped when I started bathing Nicky and Adrianna together.  DH doesn't feel comfortable bathing her, which I underatand. A lot of times on the weekends he will just take Nicky in the shower with him though.

    because she's so little?  was he comfortable bathing nicky?  peter was weird bathing the girls in the beginning, he was afraid he was going to break them lol

    He doesn't like touching her girl parts.  When I showed him how he needed to open up the area to wipe it when she got her diaper changed, I could tell he just didn't feel comfortable with it, so I don't force it on him.  After being the mom of a boy for 2.5 years prior, even I felt a little weird about wiping and washing a girl.  It definitely took some getting used to....

  • Not there yet....but I am the one that does the cooking (his "excuse" is my cooking is better, I love to cook anyway so it does not bother me), cleaning luckily we have a cleaning lady...I can see him helping w/bath time, bed time and maybe the last night time feeding (I will pump) so he can bond with our son...I am sure he will help in the middle of the night too.  DH is really awesome and laid back when it comes to helping out if I ask him to do anything.   Will have to get back to you on this one ;)
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