For those of you that are SAHM, what is DH's involvement in caring for LO & the household during the week?
Bath time? Storytime? Overnight feedings? Cleaning? Cooking? etc.
Sometimes I feel like I'd be selfish if I asked for more help with certain things during the week since Alexis is out of the house for 9 hours a day working. What do you and your DH split up if anything? Or do you just assume the role of the 1950's housewife and take care of everything with no complaints?
TIA!
Re: SAHM Poll/Question....
In my opinion, just because we don't work outside the house does not mean we don't work. I know that by the end of the day I'm EXHAUSTED!!!!!! So, when he gets home, I need help. By the nature of DHs job, he travels a lot, so I spend a large amount of time alone which means that when he is home, I expect him to help. When he's in town, DH takes care of bath time, we alternate putting her to bed. I cook because I enjoy cooking, and he cleans up after. We have a cleaning lady who handles most of the cleaning but I do the laundry that needs to be done. Like Lauren, I get alexis ready for school and make her lunch / snack, but he drops her off (again, when he's in town).
As for feedings when she was a baby, I did the overnight feedings, but he would always do the last night feeding - 11 or 12 and let me go to sleep early, like at 9. He would also take the early morning feeding, 6 or 7am.
Now, we alternate weekends. One of us gets up early with Alexis on saturday and the other gets up with her sunday, so that we can each have at least one day to sleep in.
I guess I am 1950's housewife....lol.
During the week, DH has very little involvement in the LO's or the household. He gets up, takes a shower and leaves for work, then doesn't return home until 6:00/6:30 in the evening. By that point I have already done a whole days worth of cleaning, laundry, errands, made dinner, and bathed both kids. Adrianna gets a bottle and goes to bed at 6:30. Nicky eats dinner with us then plays with DH while I clean up. They either read togehter, play on the computer or watch TV. Then his bedtime is between 7:30/8:00.
On the weekends, DH runs errands for me and fixes things around the house. He also takes Nicholas out for lunch every Saturday for "guy time". He never cooks, cleans or does laundry though. He never changes a diaper unless he absolutely has to, like if he is watching them while I am out of the house. He used to give Nicky a bath on the weekends, but that stopped when I started bathing Nicky and Adrianna together. DH doesn't feel comfortable bathing her, which I underatand. A lot of times on the weekends he will just take Nicky in the shower with him though.
DH has been a hands-on dad since Day One, so I really can't complain. I try to take charge of more things around the house since I stay home with Carley, but we still both work as a team if something needs to get done. DH usually does the cooking (however, I've been jumping in more lately and try to have it done or at least started by the time he comes home). I'd say we split bathtime equally unless one of us is studying or working on something for school, then the one takes charge (we're both going to school). Nick is all about bedtime. He loves the "daddy & Carley" time he gets with her before she goes to bed -- reads her books (she takes advantage of him and brings him book after book until she's tired LOL! When Carley was still doing overnight feedings, I usually took the middle of the night feeding and DH would wakeup at 4 and give her a bottle (he usually wakes up at 5 for work).
Not sure how that measures up against what everyone else does, but it worked/works for us and Carley.
Well, I was a sahm, but DH was home at least 4 days out of the week, so our responsibilities were totally 50/50. DH did the dishes and the vaccuuming, I would do the girls' laundry and cook dinner. We both would dust and he would take care of the outside and I would take care of picking up the inside.
As for night time feedings, DH was AMAZING. We would try to alternate the late night feedings or, like Leanna said, I would go to sleep early, he would doo all the feedings until around 4 am, and then I would take all the morning ones. When he would come home from a 24 hour shift, he would send me off to take a nap for a few hours and then we'd switch- he'd nap for a few hours. We work well together!! We would alternate putting Abby to bed but, now that we have Sarah, he puts Abby to bed and I put Sarah to bed (since I never get see her much anymore.)
I'm the antithesis of the 1950s housewife lol Peter and I laugh that he's the one who should be wearing heels and pearls- I come home from work now and grab a beer while he's cooking dinner LOL but we still try to do as much as we can 50/50
because she's so little? was he comfortable bathing nicky? peter was weird bathing the girls in the beginning, he was afraid he was going to break them lol
DH works long hours (between 7a.m-8p.m) most of the time everything is done by the time he gets home.
In Miami when I had school he would pick up the baby and take care of him. It really just depends on our current situation but basically "if mom is around, mom gets it done".
This. I think when J gets older, naturally your dh will help more just because the baby will be more active. But I think if you wanna ask, you should. If you're tired, you should ask him to do bedtimes or something. Dh helps me out a lot now, but when A was 3months, not so much---or at all I guess.
He doesn't like touching her girl parts. When I showed him how he needed to open up the area to wipe it when she got her diaper changed, I could tell he just didn't feel comfortable with it, so I don't force it on him. After being the mom of a boy for 2.5 years prior, even I felt a little weird about wiping and washing a girl. It definitely took some getting used to....
Konstantino
Maximo
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