North Dakota Babies

Can we talk about little boys?

When I met with the pedi, he asked me about my thoughts on breastfeeding, shots and circumcision. I had no problem with the first two questions, but the last is a little harder. Can we talk about the pros and cons of circumcision? I am for it, DH isn't a fan, but leaving it up to me to decide. A friend just sent me this blog on a personal experience and now I have no idea how I feel about this topic. Thanks in advance for the advice.

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Re: Can we talk about little boys?

  • We did it, we didnt do much research. DH deffinitely wanted it, as did I. The little of research, and talking w/other boy moms, my bottom line was they are prone to more infections when not circumcised. that sealed the deal for me/us.
  • I have read though that it doesn't mean they will have more infections if they are uncircumcised.  It used to be thought, but with proper cleaning there is no issues.

    A friend of mine had this thought on it, whatever her DH was (I forget), that was what her son would be.  That way if the boys are ever are outside peeing in the woods the little boy doesn't get confused why his penis is diferrent from daddys.

    My doctor also won't do it, we would have to have some other doctor do it.

    A & T Since 2009 Parents of A born July 2010
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  • I've read the pros of not doing it but if I ever have a boy he will be circumcised. For the sole reason that the few guys I knew who were not, were uber self conscious about it and growing up were teased by the other kids.
  • DH and I had a discussion about is when we just started dating.

    I am Jewish but against it.

    He is not but also against it.

    So we are in agreement.

    I think it's a 'Daddy decision' but that just be my opinion.

    The truth is that  I also did a lot of research and have had the pleasure (no pun intended) of experiencing both kinds - and there is a difference both for me and for him.

    We also have DR. friends and family and I had a discussion about that with them and opinions about this are at about 50-50 on infections, sensitivity, etc.

    I think, just do the research, and keep in mind  - if lil boy ever sees dad (in shower or changing) and sees he is different he might have negative feelings about it.

    GL! HTH 

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  • I know Eric is going to be very set on getting it done if we ever have a son. I think that regardless of cost I would rather have it done at the hospital (I know some people delay it because its cheaper at the peds office) just in case something would go wrong. I will keep hoping I am blessed with 3 girls lol!

    imageButtercup29:

    Oh my gosh, I read through this whole post thinking the baby was going to die, wow, I should have scrolled to the bottom first that was rough lol! 

    image
    ~Kimberly & Eric~ April 21, 2008 ~Tensing Pen ~ Negril, Jamaica ~ My Blog: One Sunset at a Time
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  • DH and I both wanted it done for both esthetic purposes and for sanitary purposes.  I know that with proper cleaning they don't get infected, but when LO is 5 I am not sure how careful he is going to be about cleaning.  

    With that said, they won't do a circumcision in France until he is 2 years old because of the anesthesia.  So he hasn't had it done yet, but we will definitely get it done when they give us the green light! 

  • I left it up to DH to decide. He said yes both times. My Dad never really gives his opinion on parenting but he begged me both times NOT to circumcise. DH went in with Ian and said while it was hard to watch, it wasn't too bad. They didn't let him go in with Marcos which he was very upset about. Both boys were fine the next day. 

    I knew someone who  got it done at 13 due to an infection. He said it was very traumatic and had a hard time getting intimate.

  • We did it.  I did some research and found pros & cons to both sides and wasn't really leaning one way over the other, but DH said he really wanted to do it so we did.  I thought that was a good thing for him to decide.

    I think I read that it's something like 50/50 now so the whole locker room argument probably won't mean anything for our kids.  I do like that there is a lower risk of infections w/ circumcision.

  • DH and I talked about it a little bit, but I ultimately left it up you DH. We chose to get it done for sanitary reasons but also so he wouldn't feel uncomfortable later on down the road and be self conscious.
    Nicole and Michael~Las Vegas~May 31, 2008
  • DH & I have decided that we will not circumcise if we have a boy. We do not feel that there is a real medical benefit or purpose for it.
  • imagefunny bunny:

    DH and I had a discussion about is when we just started dating.

    I am Jewish but against it.

    He is not but also against it.

    So we are in agreement.

    I think it's a 'Daddy decision' but that just be my opinion.

    The truth is that  I also did a lot of research and have had the pleasure (no pun intended) of experiencing both kinds - and there is a difference both for me and for him.

    We also have DR. friends and family and I had a discussion about that with them and opinions about this are at about 50-50 on infections, sensitivity, etc.

    I think, just do the research, and keep in mind  - if lil boy ever sees dad (in shower or changing) and sees he is different he might have negative feelings about it.

    GL! HTH 

    Funny story, when I nannied for the twins.  The boy wasn't circ'd but dad was.  Boy told his mom, "it is OK that I am not circ'd because I think my penis is going to be bigger than dad's."

    I don't know what we would do but I don't have to worry about it because I am done having children.  Good luck with your decision.

  • If/when we have a boy we are definitely having him circumcised.  We personally don't know anyone who has not been circumcised and I wouldn't want my son to feel "weird."
  • imagefunny bunny:

    DH and I had a discussion about is when we just started dating.

    I am Jewish but against it.

    He is not but also against it.

    So we are in agreement.

    I think it's a 'Daddy decision' but that just be my opinion.

    The truth is that  I also did a lot of research and have had the pleasure (no pun intended) of experiencing both kinds - and there is a difference both for me and for him.

    We also have DR. friends and family and I had a discussion about that with them and opinions about this are at about 50-50 on infections, sensitivity, etc.

    I think, just do the research, and keep in mind  - if lil boy ever sees dad (in shower or changing) and sees he is different he might have negative feelings about it.

    GL! HTH 

    This is why I have questions on this topic - I'm Jewish too and DH is non-practicing Catholic. I know that my religion says to have this done. Reading that blog I realized that most boys born in the US are not having this done. The Pedi said that they can do it on the 2nd day at the hospital. They are neither for or against it either. I guess I need to do more research before making up my mind. Thanks for everyone chiming in.

  • imageButtercup29:

    This is why I have questions on this topic - I'm Jewish too and DH is non-practicing Catholic. I know that my religion says to have this done. Reading that blog I realized that most boys born in the US are not having this done. The Pedi said that they can do it on the 2nd day at the hospital. They are neither for or against it either. I guess I need to do more research before making up my mind. Thanks for everyone chiming in.

    Yes, we are the same - Catholic, and Jewish.

     I am sure that you will find about 1000 articles for each way, I really think it's a personal choice between you two.

    It's tough, but whatever you decide - No one can argue with it.

    Good luck! 

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  • I am for circumcision, but DH is not, even though he's circumcised. I explained to him the infection thing, but that didn't seem to win him over. We'll see what happens when and if this subject ever has to be decided.

    An old friend of mine has a little boy and they had him circumcised as a baby, but when he was 2 he began to get infections and after taking him to the doctor found out that they botched the circumcision as a baby and he had to get it re-done. I know it was hard for her and her little boy to go through that with him being a little older. Hopefully he won't remember it.

    Like the author of that post said, their experience is not typical, so I wouldn't let it scare you too much. Do what you feel is right in your situation.

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  • If I ever have a boy he will be for sure. Not only for aesthetics, sanitary reasons and because I think the boy should "look" like his dad so it doesn't create any kind of self esteem problems...but also because

     **TMI** 

    My ex-husband was not and some brands of condoms will slip out if they were not put exactly right..I rather have my kid circumcised than have him get some girl pregnant because he rushed and didn't put the condom right. Plus my ex always complained about the many disadvantages of growing up uncircumcised.

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  • My DH is adament (to the point where he gets mad if I suggest we don't, which I do just to get him riled up..lol) that any and all boys are circumcised. I wasn't really leaning one way or another and figured that it's appropriate he decide that. However he will be the one taking them in. I have 6 nephews all had it done and they were all fine. It seems to be that complicating are rather rare (that's just me w/o doing any research). Lots of Vaseline, boob and Tylenol usually do the trick. Either way it's a completely personal decsion and I'm sure the babe would end up okay either way.

    Started TTC Nov. 2011 

    1st clomid cycle June 2012- No response :: HSG August 2012- Left tube blocked, right tube clear :: 2nd clomid cycle Aug. 2012 BFN :: 3rd clomid cycle Sept. 2012 :: BFP Sept 30th :: DS born 6/15/13 :: BFP #2 7/29/14 M/C 8/5/14 :: BFP#3 10/20/14 DD born 7/1/2015 :: Applied to be surrogate April '17 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for IFs Dec. '17 :: Surro Babe born 9/11/18 :: Started 2nd Journey May '19 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for new IFs 9/24/19 :: HB 138 at 6w6d


  • We had it done.  I left it up to Mike, but I also wanted to get it done.  IIt was done at the hospital and was a very quick procedure.
  • If we ever have a boy, we will really have to talk this through. I read that there are more circ deaths each year than SIDS. That's a scary stat!
  • DH was leaning more towards no, but I was the one that definitely wanted to have it done.  It was done at the hospital and very quick.  He didn't seem to have any side effects.  I dated a guy once that wasn't and it really creeped me out.

    It turned out that the dr that did it was the pedi that had been recommended to me by multiple people.  When I called, he wasn't taking new patients but I was able to get Gavin on his list by mentioning that he had seen him at the hospital.

  • imagedani_girl08:
    DH & I have decided that we will not circumcise if we have a boy. We do not feel that there is a real medical benefit or purpose for it.

    This is exactly how we felt before Z arrived and so we didn't. 

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  • imageMrs.N.H.:

    My ex-husband was not and some brands of condoms will slip out if they were not put exactly right..I rather have my kid circumcised than have him get some girl pregnant because he rushed and didn't put the condom right. Plus my ex always complained about the many disadvantages of growing up uncircumcised.

    Are you sure?  Because I spent 4 years as a sex educator and I worked for a condom distribution company and never heard of this.  You're supposed to "slip the sock down" but this seems to be common knowledge.  My college BF was uncir'd and we never had a problem with condoms.

    I also agree with some PPs.  It's really 50/50 whether people do it or not so the whole locker room debate is moot.  It's not a tradition in Mexico and 70% of the students in Phoenix public schools are Mexican so if my kids go to school here, they will be in the minority if they are.

    And I know Bobby Earle!  He's a San Diego wedding photographer and we post on the same photography message board!  Really nice guy.  I considered him for my wedding but wasn't a fan of his mute colors.  I'm a bright, lots of colors in photographs sort of person.  But other than that I think he's AMAZING!  I never knew that about his son... so sad!

    ETA: I really don't care one way or another and feel it's a personal decision.  I have no intentions on doing it simply because I don't see any medical reason or point to it.   I group it with piercing your infant daughter's ears.  If you want to, that's your decision.  But it's not my thing.  If my daughter wants pierced ears when she's 10 or whatever she can make that decision herself.  If my adult son wants his foreskin cut off, that's a decision he can make later and have done.

     

  • Before I came on the bump I didn't realize this was such a hot button issue.  When Rowen was born I didn't even think twice about it, I just had it done.  Afterwards my mother told me her opinion.  She works in the OR and said that after all the circumcisions she has seen performed on older kids and adults due to problems either from infection or other things she would never recommend a child not be.  So for me I'm really glad that I had it done.  I have to tell you I'm really surprised that its a 50/50 rate these days because I don't know a single person who hasn't gotten their son circumcised.  But I think its a personal decision. 
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  • I obviously haven't had to seriously think about this, but I can't decide.  I asked DH how he feels and he said he'd need to do more research because he's also not sure, even though he is circ'd.  So, I guess we'll deal with it when we get there.   

    My sister wanted my nephew to get circumcised when he was born, but the doctors wouldn't do it since he was premature and had some birth defects that required surgery right away.  They said he was already dealing with too much to add an optional surgery into the mix.  By the time they gave him the green light her insurance would no longer cover it.  He's about to turn 4 in a couple of weeks and hasn't had any problems so far, but she's done a good job teaching him how to clean himself.   

    Also, I'm no boy, but... do they really see each other's penises that much??  I mean, I never saw a girls junk in the locker room until after college (crazy old ladies who love to hang out naked in the gym locker room), and I've never seen my mom's stuff either.  At least, not that I can remember!   

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  • If you don't know much (or anything) about the natural male body- a place I recommend to check out is a website called circumstitions.com

    Yes- the website is VERY anti circumcision... they don't pretend to have a duty to present "both sides" of the issue - they have a very clear pro-male stance that accepts all of the male body as functional, integral and sexually important to the man it is issued to.  They maintain that there is only one person who has a right to make a decision to circumcise- and that's the man who owns the penis. The website is huge and cluttery- but there are two galleries I feel are very helpful in the vast sea of information out there... most just hashing and rehashing the same non-committal pablum that really isn't helpful

    The reason why I'm mentioning this page is because on parenting boards- all the talk focuses on babies and adult sex and grown men is something that we kind of dance around without ever facing.  At that website you can find names of celebrities and famous people who are not circumcised... this list may make you go ...hmmmm... hmmm? hmmm!  It's not like the list will ...but it might make you reconsider many assumptions you might be carting around. 

    https://www.circumstitions.com/Famous-map.html

     There are also galleries of pictures of naked adult men.  All those pages will come with warnings, and none of this is a trick website that's gonna go popup on you.  Although most of the pictures come from porn sources- all the men are posed *alone* and not doing anything overtly active- just "hangin' out" so to speak...

    https://www.circumstitions.com/Gallery.html

    If you have never seen a natural penis- it may take some getting used to... (just like the getting used to adjustment the first time you saw a circumcised penis!) there is also a lot of variation ... consider your emotions and their source... don't shut the book if your first thought is confused... work through this- I think natural human women should know what natural human men's bodies look like.

    I'm always struck by the veins that you can see going through all the skin that is covering over the ridge of the glans... it all looks like all the rest of the sexual anatomy... looks pretty connected to me... doesn't look like it's just garbage... looks like all the other penis skin ya know?  I don't see a good spot for a "cut here" dotted line... all of it looks like man part to me!

  • imageAprilJT:
    Before I came on the bump I didn't realize this was such a hot button issue.  When Rowen was born I didn't even think twice about it, I just had it done.  Afterwards my mother told me her opinion.  She works in the OR and said that after all the circumcisions she has seen performed on older kids and adults due to problems either from infection or other things she would never recommend a child not be.  So for me I'm really glad that I had it done.  I have to tell you I'm really surprised that its a 50/50 rate these days because I don't know a single person who hasn't gotten their son circumcised.  But I think its a personal decision. 

    I agree with all of this!

  • DH is circ'd and I am for it so I imagine any son we have will be. In th ER I have seen some very old men with nasty infections and problems from it getting stuck down. I have also seen a yourger man who's foreskin got stuck back, which can be really serious, and could have caused him to lose the head of his penis if he had let it go too long. These things are embarrassing and boys and men aren't exactly jumping up to go see a doctor. I have also seen one botched circ and had a friend who's son had to have surgery done later to correct it. The botched circ was done by a pedi who admitted he messed up. In my area they are usually done by OBs, not pedis. I have never seen or heard of a child dying from complications of circumcision, although I suppose the child I saw possibly could have. I see the benefit of leaving it up to him when he is older, but then if he wants it he has to pay for an elective surgery and undergo anesthesia, which is IMHO more risky than circumcision itself. I think it's less traumatic to do it when he's a baby. But I also think it's personal and would never judge anyone for choosing not to.

    I recently had a conversation with my mom about this, and apparently she thinks it's mean. She acted like I should know, but I wasn't aware that my dad and brothers are not. Just thought it was interesting on the one hand that she thought I would know, and on the other hand that I could live with them my whole life and not know!

    I also think it's interesting how people come out of the woodwork on hot button topics. Shall we have a CIO debate next? Wink

  • imageMrsBlayne:

    I also think it's interesting how people come out of the woodwork on hot button topics. Shall we have a CIO debate next? Wink

    No kidding!  Do they just search for topics to comment on?  It seems like every time we have something like this posted there is one or two people who show up to throw in their 2 cents who I have never heard of.  It's odd.

    I will say, aside from the one random stranger, this is by far the nicest circ post I've ever seen on the Bump!  I <3 how drama free the ND girls are! Smile

  • imageash.flea:
    imageMrsBlayne:

    I also think it's interesting how people come out of the woodwork on hot button topics. Shall we have a CIO debate next? Wink

    No kidding!  Do they just search for topics to comment on?  It seems like every time we have something like this posted there is one or two people who show up to throw in their 2 cents who I have never heard of.  It's odd.

    I will say, aside from the one random stranger, this is by far the nicest circ post I've ever seen on the Bump!  I <3 how drama free the ND girls are! Smile

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who was doing one of these Hmm

    It's so nice to be able to have a real discussion about a controversial issue and not have people resorting to name calling, bullying, or any of that crap.

    Started TTC Nov. 2011 

    1st clomid cycle June 2012- No response :: HSG August 2012- Left tube blocked, right tube clear :: 2nd clomid cycle Aug. 2012 BFN :: 3rd clomid cycle Sept. 2012 :: BFP Sept 30th :: DS born 6/15/13 :: BFP #2 7/29/14 M/C 8/5/14 :: BFP#3 10/20/14 DD born 7/1/2015 :: Applied to be surrogate April '17 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for IFs Dec. '17 :: Surro Babe born 9/11/18 :: Started 2nd Journey May '19 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for new IFs 9/24/19 :: HB 138 at 6w6d


  • Yes, very nice of the random stranger to share such a great link Indifferent
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